The Long and Winding Road Sequel to 17 Again
by DeadliestCatchFan
Summary: DEADLIEST CATCH FIC - Part two of my OC Shannon and Josh story, set 1 year after they've moved to Seattle. Sequel to Seventeen Again.
1. Chapter 1

The Long and Winding Road

Chapter One

'Why is dad taking so long? His flight came in an hour ago!' Caitlin moaned as they stood waiting for Josh at the airport.

'He's probably talking to some fans, you know what it's like honey,' Shannon smiled whilst stroking her daughter's mid length brown hair. It had grown back so thick and curly after the chemo, she was beautiful without hair but with it she was just absolutely stunning, Josh would definitely be tearing his own hair out pretty soon as boys came into the picture.

'Well it's not fair, he wants to see us not them!' Caitlin complained, she was in the awkward pre-teen stage right now and pretty much everything was a drama to her.

'Caitlin honey you know how it works, dad's on TV and people want to talk to him, he can't be rude to them now can he? He'll be here soon so quit it with the attitude please,' Shannon replied as Caitlin huffed and folded her arms.

She found it difficult to understand just why other people were so interested in her dad. When they went out anywhere nine times out of ten someone would stop Josh to chat with him and sometimes it made Shannon a little mad, especially when they were out having a family meal and some chick would just walk up to their table while they were eating and virtually drool over Josh but what could she do about it? Josh was on TV now, their lives were a lot different and she had to adapt, so did Caitlin.

Another twenty minutes passed by and there was still no sign of Josh, Caitlin was huffing and puffing every single minute and Shannon was beginning to lose patience too. Two months had passed since he'd left for Red Crab and she was desperate to see him, she'd missed him so much even though he'd called her every single day, hearing his voice just made her want him home even more. The life of a crab fisherman was hard and the life of the loved one of a crab fisherman was pretty hard too, in the time that he'd been away Josh had missed so much in Caitlin's life, he was going to miss so much as the years went by but fishing was his job and in time she was sure that Caitlin would understand.

'Mom!' Caitlin jumped out of her seat and began to run straight ahead as Shannon looked towards the arrivals gate.

Walking towards them was a pale and tired looking Josh, she got up from her seat and followed as Josh picked Caitlin up and wrapped his arms around her.

'I've missed you so much honey, so much!' Josh held onto his daughter as tight as he could, leaving for Alaska was so much harder now that he had a daughter and fiancé at home waiting for him.

This season had been one long and painful slog, he'd never been so drained both physically and emotionally, now that he was back home in Seattle with his girls he was happier than he had ever been.

'What took you so long dad?' Caitlin asked as Josh set her back down, he was about to answer her when he looked up and saw Shannon standing in front of him, his beautiful Shannon.

'Say hi to mom but I still want an answer!' Caitlin smirked as Josh touched her cheek and moved past her to come face to face with Shannon.

'Hello you,' Shannon smiled as Josh reached her.

Josh didn't respond with words, instead he pressed his warm, chapped lips to hers and wrapped his arms around her waist. He shivered slightly as he felt Shannon's hands start to touch the back of his neck, the need to get her home and get her into bed was making him ache.

'Ewww! That's enough, people are staring!' Caitlin's voice made both of them pull apart and turn to smirk at her.

'What? Your mom's hot, I can't help it!' Josh laughed as Caitlin wrinkled up her nose at him. 'I think it's time we went home, I can't wait to just kick my feet up on the couch and spend time with my two girls,' Josh sighed as he wrapped his arm around Shannon's waist.

The three of them began to walk out of the airport and Josh hoped that no one else would stop him, he just wanted to get home and be with his family. Phil had decided to stay in Alaska for a week with John who was taking him to Homer to get away from Seattle for a while.

It had been just over a year since they'd moved back from California and in that year, Jake had just gotten worse and worse. Josh had tried to talk to him, so had Shannon and so had Phil but no one could get through to him, he didn't want help, he didn't want anything except his fucking drugs. John was trying to take Phil's mind off things back home for a while and Josh was happy that he cared enough about his dad to help him out.

They managed to get out of the airport and to the car without being stopped, a couple of people had looked like they were going to approach him but Josh just kept his head down and kept walking, he was tired and in a little bit of pain after tweaking his back slightly trying to move a tote stuffed with crab. He was sure that Shannon would help ease the pain a little later on though once Caitlin had gone to bed.

When they got to the car, Josh put his bags in the trunk and joined Shannon in the front passenger seat whilst Caitlin sat in the back and started to read one of her books, she was now obsessed with the Twilight Saga and he knew that a new movie was coming out soon so he would have to suffer through another painful few hours just for her, he hoped she appreciated the sacrifices he was willing to make.

'I filmed all of Caitlin's soccer games for you, you have about ten hours-worth to watch when you get home, she scored quite a few goals,' Shannon smiled as Josh turned to look at his daughter who looked very proud.

'I wish you could have been there dad, I scored five goals in one game, it was my best match ever!' Caitlin said excitedly and Josh couldn't help but feel guilty and sad, he didn't want to miss anything but what choice did he have? If he didn't work they wouldn't have any money to put food on the table, Shannon was still trying to get the necessary qualifications for her to be a fully fledged counsellor and she'd offered numerous times to go out and get a job but he didn't want her to just settle for some shitty little job working as a receptionist or something, he wanted her to make something of herself.

'I wish I could have been there too honey but you know how it is, I gotta work,' Josh sighed, his eyes felt so fucking heavy, he hadn't managed to sleep on the plane, the guy next to him recognised and kept talking about fishing and shit and as much as he wanted to tell him to shut up he wasn't prepared to be that rude.

'So why did you take so long to come out?' Caitlin asked, referring back to his delay in appearing at the airport terminal.

'Oh there were a group of girls getting back from New York, they wanted pictures, autographs, the usual. I couldn't turn them down,' Josh replied and he could see Caitlin roll her eyes, she wasn't happy about the attention he received at all.

'There's always a group of people wanting pictures and stuff, people are so rude,' Caitlin moaned.

'Caitlin how would you feel if you saw Robert Pattinson at the airport, are you telling me you wouldn't want a picture or an autograph from him? Shannon asked.

'Well I would but then he's a real celebrity, dad's a fisherman, he's not THAT cute or anything,' Caitlin replied and Shannon and Josh both began to laugh.

'Thanks honey, you're so kind!' Josh laughed.

'Oh don't listen to her baby, I think you're really cute and sexy,' Shannon winked at him.

'Ew mom TMI!'

Josh started to laugh again as he looked between his two girls, he'd missed both of them so fucking much, their faces had been so prominent in his mind every second that he was out at sea. The sad thing was, he only had a short amount of time at home before he'd have to leave again to go out for Opie's, instead of enjoying Christmas with his family he'd be counting down the days until he left and that fucking sucked. He was determined to enjoy the short break he had with his girls though even if he felt tired and pretty worn out.

Ten minutes after Shannon had pulled out of the airport car park Caitlin was busy reading her book whilst Josh fell asleep. She glanced at him from time to time, she could see how tired he was and he'd definitely lost weight, now that he was home she was going to make sure that he was well looked after in many different ways.

Josh slept through the entire journey home, it was only when the engine stopped that he woke up to look out of the window and see his house staring back at him.

'Ah home at last,' Josh sighed before stretching out his arms.

Caitlin was the first to jump out of the car, Shannon had a feeling that Josh would be spending his first few hours at home catching up with her soccer games.

'What time do you think she'll go to bed?' Josh put his hand on Shannon's thigh as soon as Caitlin closed the car door.

'Joshua Harris, are you trying to seduce me?' Shannon pouted as Josh planted a kiss on her lips.

'Not yet, but I will be later,' he winked before opening the car door to get out, he was getting hot and heavy already and that had to wait, they weren't carefree sixteen year olds any more, they had a daughter to think of now.

Shannon could feel herself beginning to get moist at the thought of having him back in her bed again, she'd missed a lot of things about him and his penis was definitely towards the top of her list, along with his tongue. But for now, his penis would have to stay in his pants until Caitlin went to bed which wouldn't be for a while yet, she was excited to have her daddy home and seeing as it wasn't a school night Shannon was going to let her stay up a little later.

'Come on dad! You can start watching my games while mom makes food!' Caitlin yelled as Josh walked towards her on the front porch.

'I should be giving your mom a hand, or you should,' Josh smiled at his daughter as a frown appeared on her face.

'Don't worry, I can handle dinner alone, you two spend some time together, it's been a while,' Shannon said and the smile appeared back on Caitlin's pretty face.

'Oh so you're gonna spoil me tonight then?' Josh winked as Shannon passed him to open the front door.

As soon as the door was open Caitlin ran inside and went into the lounge, leaving Josh and Shannon alone again to whisper a few sweet nothings to one another.

'I'll do all the work tonight that back of yours could do with a rest,' Shannon whispered in Josh's ear before pulling away from him as he closed the door behind him.

She was working him up into a frenzy and she knew it, she liked knowing that she could make him so crazy, she would definitely be trying her hardest to drive him wild later but until then, she would have to take out her sexual frustration in the kitchen by beating some meat.

'Daddy come on! I'll put the first game on!' Caitlin yelled from the lounge as Josh set his bags down at the bottom of the stairs.

The nagging had already started but in all honesty, he'd rather be nagged silly by his two girls than get shouted at on deck by men who hadn't showered in weeks. As soon as he set his bags down he made his way into the lounge and found Caitlin putting a DVD on.

'Sit down dad, do you want a beer or something?' Caitlin smiled as Josh held his arms open for her.

'Nope, I just wanna cuddle with my girl, come here,' Caitlin grabbed the DVD remote off the table and walked to Josh to give him a hug.

They both sat down on the couch together and Josh wrapped his arms around her, when she got older she wouldn't want to do this so he was making the most of the cuddles and kisses now until she found it too 'lame'.

As her daughter and fiancé relaxed in the lounge, Shannon stood in the kitchen preparing the home made spaghetti and meatballs for dinner. It was Josh's favourite dish and she was making plenty of it, she'd never seen someone eat so much as him but he never seemed to put on any weight at all. She would only have to sniff at a cupcake to put on ten pounds but Josh was a lucky bastard in that respect, although he did help her work a lot of calories off in a fun way…

Whilst preparing their dinner, Shannon kept hearing shouting and cheering from the lounge as Josh and Caitlin watched her first match together. She loved how close the two of them had become, her only worry was how upset Caitlin seemed to be at the attention Josh got from people while they were out and about. It was hard for her to understand why people were so interested in him, Shannon knew all too well why Josh attracted such a lot of attention from DC fans, he was gorgeous! She would be lying if she said that she didn't feel threatened by some of the girls that came up to ask for a picture, some of them truly were beautiful but she had to trust him, if she didn't then she couldn't be in a relationship with him.

When he came back from Opie's it was going to be very interesting as the annual CatchCon was being held just a couple of weeks after he got back home. She was going and so was Caitlin, she wasn't too excited at the prospect of spending all day in a room filled with women who wanted a piece of her man's ass but it gave her a chance to meet some of Josh's friends that she hadn't had the chance to see yet, in that respect it would be a good thing at least.

Shannon remained in the kitchen to cook their dinner, leaving Josh and Caitlin to spend some much needed time together. When their dinner was cooked she shouted through into the lounge to let them know that it was ready and a very happy Caitlin skipped into the kitchen followed by a very tired looking Josh.

During their dinner Josh told them stories about the past season and Caitlin told her dad all about school and tried to catch him up on everything he'd missed while he had been away. When they were done with their dinner Shannon decided to be lazy and leave their dishes to soak in the sink until the morning, she just wanted to spend time with Josh now.

The three of them sat curled up on the couch as they watched four of Caitlin's matches before Josh gave into his tiredness and fell asleep.

'He can see the rest of them tomorrow, I'm kinda tired too, I'm going to bed,' Caitlin yawned as she whispered quietly to her mother.

'Okay honey, do you want me to come up and tuck you in?' Shannon asked knowing full well what the answer would be.

'Mom I'm twelve not two!' Caitlin rolled her eyes as a smirk appeared on Shannon's face. 'Night, I love you.' Caitlin hugged Shannon and gave her a kiss on the cheek before she disappeared upstairs and into her room.

She wasn't a baby any more but to Shannon, even when she was forty, she would always be her baby. If Caitlin had kids of her own she would feel the same way, every mother did.

She was now alone with Josh once again and as much as she wanted to tear his clothes off there and then he looked so peaceful. He was exhausted and he needed his sleep. Instead of waking him up right away she gently placed his head in her lap and let her hands run through his thick black hair as he slept.

Somewhere deep in Josh's subconscious he felt Shannon's delicate hands working against his scalp. The feeling was so relaxing and comforting, he'd been craving her touch for months, it was almost as if her hands could take away all the pain and stress that he felt after the past season. He fought against the sleep that he needed so badly, he could sleep later, all that he wanted to do right now was get lost inside her, to feel her and touch her body all over again.

Shannon was surprised when Josh opened his eyes and stared up at her as she continued to stroke his scalp with her delicate fingers. He'd looked so out of it, she hadn't expected him to wake up at all in fact but as soon as his eyes stared into hers she felt herself turn into a complete puddle of goo.

'I missed you so much baby, so much,' Josh sighed as he slowly began to rise up, he gasped a little as he felt his back twinge and Shannon immediately helped to sit him up with his back against the firm couch cushion.

'You just stay put mister, I don't want you hurting that back of yours any more than you have already, I have needs that need to be met,' Shannon smirked as she dropped to her knees in-between his legs.

'What? You gonna say a prayer for my back down there?' Josh replied as he looked down at his lover who licked her lips to his question.

'I only pray when I have something hard to hold onto,' Shannon purred as she began to stroke the tell-tale bulge in his jeans.

Josh wanted to reply but he couldn't, he hadn't had the privacy or the time to jerk off in days and Shannon touching him almost pushed him over the edge right away so he had to fight to remain in control.

'Mmm someone's a little horny huh? Did you miss my tight little pussy?' Shannon kept her eyes firmly fixed on his as she began to unbuckle his belt.

'You know I did,' Josh managed to grind out as Shannon quickly undid his belt and began to work open his fly.

'I thought about you every single night you know that? I got myself off so many times thinking about riding your big dick hard when you got home,' Josh swallowed hard as he watched Shannon pull down his jeans and pants in one go. His hard cock sprang to life right in front of her face as she continued to stare at him intently.

'I'm so fucking wet for you already baby, I'll say a quick prayer then do what the good Lord wants me to do,' Shannon smirked as Josh stared back at her with a goofy grin on his face, he was putty in her hands and she loved it. She loved Josh taking control but her being in control gave her ego and confidence such a big boost. She felt comfortable with it, especially the dirty talk and it shocked her a little but she liked feeling naughty, she had a lot of time to make up for after all.

Josh was totally under her spell, she could do anything that she wanted to him right now, she was the only woman that could hypnotise him completely. When they'd first started to have sex again he'd expected her to be shy and nervous but she wasn't, she was loud, vocal and Jesus she did things to him that would make any of the fishermen he knew blush.

Shannon ran her smooth hands over his rock hard cock and planted tender kisses at the base, revelling in the low moans that she received from Josh in the process. She slowly rose up a little and cupped his shaft between her hands before looking up to the sky.

'Dear Lord, please keep Josh's back and more importantly his really big dick safe as I ride it in the name of the father, son and Holy Spirit, amen,' Shannon planted a kiss at the soaking wet tip of his cock before she got up onto her feet.

She slipped out of her dress quickly and discarded her flimsy panties in record time as she felt herself dripping with desire to feel him deep inside her. She slowly and carefully put her knees either side of Josh's muscular thighs as he ran his calloused rough hands down to rest on her curvy hips. Looking right into his eyes, Shannon let out a low cry of his name as she reached down with her hand to place his thick shaft inside her.

'Ohhh fuckkking shittt,' Josh gasped as his cock slipped deep inside her warm, wet channel. His hands pressed hard against her hips as he took some deep breaths to try and calm him down a little, he didn't want things to end before they'd even begun.

'You make me so fucking wet Joshua,' Shannon moaned as she wiggled her hips to feel his cock move around inside her.

'Then ride my dick and let me make you even wetter,' Josh groaned as he pulled Shannon's face towards his and slipped his tongue past hers.

As they kissed Josh let his hands go down to her pert ass cheeks, holding on tight he began to push Shannon up slightly only to pull her back down immediately, causing her to gasp into his mouth.

'Come on, fuck me, fuck me,' Josh took his mouth away from hers and pressed their foreheads together. He wasn't going to last all that long but he was damn sure that he was gonna make her cum.

Shannon ran her hands up to his shoulders and gripped them as she slowly started to ride his cock. She didn't want to go too hard and fast just in case his back couldn't take it.

Josh started to knead and squeeze at her ass cheeks as he looked down and watched Shannon's pussy coat his dick with her juices, she was dripping wet and it felt absolutely amazing to be inside her again. He felt every curve and bump of her tight pussy as she slowly began to bounce up and down on top of him, any pain that he had previously felt in his back was completely gone as he was captivated by her entirely.

When she began to pick up the pace a little Josh decided to take things a little further to encourage her. As she lowered herself back down onto his throbbing length Josh lightly slapped her right ass cheek.

'Oh fuck, again, again!' Josh had never spanked her before and Jesus it felt good! She was turning into some dirty, kinky sex crazed maniac because of him and she felt strangely liberated.

'You naughty girl, you like me spanking that pretty little ass of yours huh?' Josh moaned as Shannon circled her hips.

'Uh huh! Keep going baby, please! I'm so close, I want you to cum with me, cum with me!'

Shannon let herself go entirely, she forgot about his back problem and just started to ride him hard and fast. Each time she fell down on his dick Josh thrust upwards, hitting her g-spot and making her juices flow like a river out of her.

'Oh fuck, fuck me! Fuck me!'

Josh was losing all control and there was no way that he could keep going for much longer. His hands left her ass cheeks and made their way to her plump breasts, grabbing them and pawing at them as she rode him wildly. He wrapped his warm mouth around one of her aching nipples and began to suck on it, occasionally letting his teeth graze over it which got him even louder moans and groans than before.

He could feel her pussy beginning to palpitate around him and knew she wasn't going to last, he pulled his mouth away from her breasts and pressed his forehead against hers as he looked into her eyes. He let one hand wander down to her boiling hot core and find her juicy wet clit, with one long flick of his finger she exploded, cursing and saying his name as her pussy began to spasm around his length.

'Oh fuck, Shannnon!'

As soon as he felt her climax around his shaft he lost it, thrusting up deep inside her to bury his seed deep into her soaking wet core.

She collapsed forward, burying her head into his sweat soaked neck as she tried to get her breathing back on track. She wrapped her arms around him and just lost herself for a few minutes as she took in the feel of his warm skin pressed against hers and the scent of him floating up her nasal passages. She'd missed him so much, there'd been times she'd worried that he wouldn't come home, she knew how dangerous his job was, it would always be dangerous and it would always be hard to wave him off at the airport but this time, he was back in her arms safe and sound.

'I missed you so much Joshua, I really, really did,' Shannon whispered quietly into his neck as he stroked her damp hair.

'Not as much as I missed you baby, I'm so glad to be home, I love you so fucking much,' Josh sighed before pressing kisses on the top of her head.

When he was out at sea, all he could think about was getting home and spending time with his girls. Before she came back into his life all he ever thought about was partying, banging random chicks and doing stupid shit with his friends, now his life had a purpose, he had a reason to come home safe. He never wanted to be anywhere else in the world, he really didn't.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

**Wow! Thanks everyone for the reviews and alerts on the new fic, glad you managed to find it! Here is the next update and I would love it if you could review please :)**

***********WARNING***** The end of this chapter does contain some pretty intense smut so please avoid if male bits and lady bits and sex fluids are too much for you to handle, thanks! **

Shannon smiled to herself as Josh slept in her arms, she couldn't describe how it felt to have him back again. When he'd left for Dutch she'd had to remain strong for Caitlin but she was well aware of the dangers he faced whilst out at sea, she was also aware that every time he left there was a good chance that he might not come back.

In a way she felt guilty, he was the one doing all the work and putting the food on the table whilst she went to College in the evenings and studied. He had every right to make her go out and get a job but he didn't want her to work, he wanted her to make something of herself and that made her love him even more. When her father had died she never thought that she would be truly happy again, meeting Josh had given her hope but then the pregnancy happened and that hope died. Now that she'd reunited with him she was happier than she had ever been in her life, she was away from her mother and she had her own little family to take care of and it was all because of the man that lay fast asleep in her arms.

As tempted as she was to just stay in bed with him for a little while longer she knew that she had to get up. She could hear Caitlin moving around downstairs and she decided to go and see what she was up to. She gently unwrapped herself from Josh's long arms and planted a kiss on his forehead before she put on a nightgown and dressing gown and quietly made her way downstairs.

She found Caitlin sitting on the couch in the lounge watching TV whilst eating a bowl of cereal.

'Hi mom, is dad up yet?' Caitlin asked and Shannon shook her head.

'He'll probably be in bed for a while honey, he's really tired and he needs to rest,' Shannon replied. 'Do you want something more to eat or something to drink, I need a coffee,' Shannon yawned as Caitlin shook her head and continued to stare at the TV.

She made her way to the kitchen and made herself some coffee and a few slices of toast before joining Caitlin on the couch. She could tell that her daughter was annoyed that Josh wasn't up yet but she wasn't going to wake him, he needed to take it easy for a few days at least, not that they had taken it easy last night, she lost count of how many times they made love. They couldn't seem to keep their hands off each other until eventually, Josh was struggling to keep his eyes open and Shannon let him snuggle into her warm body to let him sleep, his back was probably gonna ache like a bastard today but she guessed that he wouldn't mind, she could help to ease his pain.

'If dad is gonna be in bed all day, can I go over to Katie's house?' Caitlin announced out of the blue.

Katie was Caitlin's best friend, they were inseparable and most weekends they were together. It helped that Shannon got on really well with Katie's mother Louise, her father was a bit of a douchebag but she never saw him all that much, he seemed to work a lot.

'I guess you can if Louise is okay with it, let me give her a call,' Shannon didn't see a problem with her spending time there, Josh was likely to be resting for most of the day and she needed some time alone to study. She got up from the couch and went out to the hallway to make the call, she knew that Louise would probably want some details as to what happened between her and Josh last night. After so many years of not having sex and not talking about sex she now had someone to do it with and someone to discuss it with, she felt like she was a teenager all over again!

She leaned up against the wall as she dialled Louise's number into her cell phone and waited for her to pick up. After a minute or so, Louise's voice sounded over the speaker.

'Wow how come you're up so early? I thought you'd still be in bed!' Louise quipped as Shannon giggled like a school girl.

'I wore him out poor thing! I'm letting him have his rest until tonight, what are you up to today?' Shannon asked.

'Nothing much, I was gonna call you actually, Katie is asking if Caitlin can come over and have dinner with us and seeing as she tidied her room last night, I said that it was okay with me. You wanna bring her over in a couple of hours?'

'Oh thank you so much! Caitlin will be so happy and I need some time alone to study, you're a sweetheart!' Shannon replied as Louise laughed.

'Well you can at least spend an hour here for a coffee right? I wanna know all the dirty details about last night!' Louise replied.

'I guess I can spare an hour, it won't be enough to tell you everything though, there's a lot to tell!' Shannon replied.

'Lucky you! Well I want details woman, at least one of us is getting some! I gotta go, I can smell burning waffles! See you soon!' Louise quickly ended the call and Shannon went back into the lounge to let Caitlin know that she could go and see Katie.

'I'm gonna get washed, I'll be really quiet so dad won't wake up!' Caitlin said before jumping off the couch to make her way upstairs.

Despite promising to keep quiet, Shannon could clearly hear her moving around upstairs as she got ready. Once she'd finished her coffee Shannon decided to go upstairs herself to get ready. Caitlin was already in her bedroom getting changed when she got there so Shannon went straight into the bathroom and into the shower. When she'd finished in the shower she wrapped a towel around her body and made her way into the bedroom trying to be as quiet as possible.

Josh was sprawled across the bed fast asleep, it didn't look like he was going to be waking up any time soon. Shannon stood at the foot of the bed and watched him for a few minutes as she dried herself off before she went over to her wardrobe to pull out a pair of jeans and a jumper to wear. She put on her deodorant and sprayed a little perfume over herself before putting on her clothes. Before she left the room she combed her hair and put it back into a ponytail before she applied just a little make-up to look at least half decent.

She took one last look at Josh as he slept before she crept out of the room and went back downstairs where Caitlin was waiting for her in the lounge.

'Can we go now?' Caitlin asked as soon as Shannon walked into the room.

'Jeez Caitlin what's the rush? I told Louise we'd be over in a couple of hours, we can't go there yet,' Shannon replied.

'Well I'm bored and I can't do anything here because daddy is still asleep, he spends more time with his fans than he does with us,' Caitlin huffed.

'Caitlin that's a horrible thing to say, your dad works so hard to provide for us, do you think he wants to spend so much time away from home? Do you think he wants to be in bed sleeping when he could be with you? He's worn out and he's in pain,' Shannon scolded her daughter.

'Why does he have to go out and fish though mom? I don't want him to get hurt, I don't want him to be away from us so much, I want him to stay at home like the other kids dad's do, I hate him being away so much,' Caitlin's bottom lip began to tremble and Shannon sat down next to her on the couch to pull her into a hug.

'I know that it's hard baby, it's hard for me too but fishing is your dad's career. He doesn't want to miss out on anything that you do but he doesn't have a choice baby, no matter how far away he is the one thing that you have to remember is that he loves you SO much, you're his baby girl and he's so proud of you, both of us are,' Shannon smiled as she tried to comfort her daughter as best as she could.

'I know, I'm sorry for being mean, I just miss him a lot when he's not here. I don't want anything bad to happen to him and I get scared that he won't come home,' Caitlin sighed as Shannon tightened her grip around her arms.

'Well I get scared too but your dad is pretty tough, he's the toughest guy I know actually, you take after him a lot in that respect,' Shannon replied.

'I think you're tough too mom, just in a different way, you put up with grandma for all those years,' Caitlin smirked and Shannon burst out laughing.

'Since when did you become the wise one in the family?'

'I'm growing up, I understand things a bit better now, grandpa tells me a lot of stuff too,' Caitlin replied, Shannon could only imagine what Phil told her, most of it was probably x-rated.

'I bet he does,' Shannon planted a kiss on her forehead and looked down at her, 'I know it's early but seeing as it's the weekend, how about I take you to Layla's for some cheesecake?'

'I'd like that,' Caitlin smiled back at her and suddenly things were back to normal again.

Shannon grabbed her bag from the top of the coffee table and put her cell phone inside whilst Caitlin ran upstairs to get a sweater. As soon as she returned, they made their way out of the house, leaving Josh alone to catch up on some much needed sleep.

Joshua was lost in his dreams, even though he was back home in her arms again Shannon's face still dominated his thoughts as he slept. They'd been engaged for just over one year and he was desperate to move things along, he wanted to marry her but due to his work commitments and commitments to the Discovery Channel they'd had no time to plan a wedding. He never thought that he would want to get married, never in a million fucking years but he was ready, he was so ready.

In his sleepy haze he reached out for her, he wanted to hold her sweet body in his arms again but he couldn't find her. Even though his body desperately needed rest he opened his eyes and looked across the bed, realising that she wasn't here Josh sat up slightly to look at the clock alongside the bed, it was just past one in the afternoon, he'd slept for nearly twelve hours straight but he still felt so fucking tired. His tiredness didn't stop him from getting out of bed and pulling on his pants, he guessed that his girls were downstairs waiting for him and seeing as he'd been away for a while he wanted to spend some time with them.

His back was still a little sore, he felt a few twinges as he got out of bed but last night's antics with Shannon had definitely helped to loosen him up quite a bit, he was hoping she'd be up for helping him loosen up some more tonight.

He threw on a shirt along with his pants before heading downstairs, the house was dead quiet, if Caitlin was around it would not be as silent as it was so he was guessing that his girls had gone out somewhere to pass the time, it looked like a nice day out, he was only sorry that they hadn't woken him to join them. When he got downstairs he went straight to the kitchen to grab something to drink, he opened the kitchen door and was surprised when he found Shannon sat at the large kitchen table surrounded by a pile of books.

'Well hey there, I wasn't expecting you to get up today,' Shannon looked up from her papers and flashed a huge smile at Josh as he made his way to the fridge next to where she sat.

'Where's Caitlin? I bet she's mad at me, I promised her I'd watch the rest of her games today,' Josh grabbed a carton of OJ from the fridge and drank some straight out of the container before putting it back and planting a wet OJ kiss on Shannon's lips.

'Joshua it's icky to drink straight out of the carton, I don't want your germs!' Shannon scolded him but couldn't help but smile as he pretended to pout. 'Caitlin's over at Katie's house hanging out, you know what those two are like, they can't bear to be separated for more than a day.'

'Damn it, I've been away for two fucking months and I come home and do fuck all with her on my first day back,' Josh scolded himself as he sat down next to Shannon at the table.

'She knows that you're tired Josh, I told her that you'd spend some time together when you've relaxed a little bit, she understands,' Shannon smiled as she let her hand run up to Josh's face to stroke it.

'Well I'm gonna make it up to her tomorrow, I'll take her out for the day, it'll give you time to catch up on some of this,' Josh pointed to the mountain of books and paperwork that surrounded Shannon on the table.

'That would be a HUGE help baby, thank you,' Shannon smiled as Josh looked at her longingly.

'But for now, seeing as we have the house to ourselves…'

'Uh uh, don't even think about it mister, I have to study!' Shannon replied.

'I have something you can study,' Josh smirked as he took one of Shannon's hands and placed it on his semi hard cock.

'If I fail this semester I am so blaming it on your penis Joshua Harris,' Shannon didn't put up much of a fight, she didn't really want to put up a fight because she wanted him just as much as he wanted her.

'Don't blame it on the sunshine, don't blame it on the moonlight, don't blame it on the good times, blame it on my penis!' Josh changed the words and sang to the Jackson 5 song before laughing and pulling Shannon into a kiss.

'You just can't, you just can't, you just can't control your dick!' Shannon pulled away from the kiss to respond before they both started to laugh, the laughter didn't stop Josh from getting up from his seat and pulling Shannon to her feet before pushing her back against the table though. 'Wow, someone's back is feeling a lot better,' she moaned against his whiskers as she ran her hands down his chest.

'You rode the pain out of me last night, now it's my turn to take control,' Josh growled against her soft neck as he ran his hands over her full breasts which were covered by her shirt and bra.

He was desperate to feel her soft skin pressed against his, so desperate that he practically tore her shirt off and threw it across the kitchen. Shannon reached around and unhooked her bra, her body was throbbing in anticipation, she'd had him so many times but she would never get enough of him, ever.

The next obstacle for Josh was her skin tight jeans, he wanted to spank her stupid for wearing them, they were so fucking awkward to remove but she looked so fucking hot in them. He pulled them down as quickly as he could, taking her panties with them and pushing her down onto the table once her restraints had gone.

Shannon wrapped her legs around his waist in an attempt to pull him down on top of her but he was too strong and he knew it. Josh remained standing and she could only watch as he pulled his shirt off and threw it across the room before he pulled down his pants.

He looked down at her pink pussy and licked his lips at the sight, she was soaking wet already and he'd barely got started yet. His right hand gripped his thick length as he guided it towards her lips, she held her breathe as she waited to feel him inside her but instead he decided to tease her. He ran the tip of his cock up and down her pussy, coating his head in her sweet juices as she moaned beneath him.

'Oh Josh, fuck me,' Shannon had to feel him inside her and he was being really fucking mean, did he know what he was doing to her right now?

'You're such a bad girl Shannon, I bet you rubbed your little pussy raw when I was away huh?' Shannon had played games with him last night, now it was his turn.

'You know I did, I had to, you make me so fucking wet Joshua, I want you all the timeeeee,' Shannon cried out as without warning Josh rammed his cock home.

'Jesus you're so fucking tight,' his cock felt like it would explode inside her at any second when he felt her muscles hungrily clamp around his shaft as he entered her.

He remained still inside her as he looked down at her perfect body sprawled out across the table beneath him, he ran his calloused hands over her soft flesh, gently squeezing it and caressing it as he calmed down enough to be able to start moving around inside her.

'Oh Josh, that's right, fuck me, fuck me!'

Shannon used her hands to push her books and papers off the table, she didn't give a shit about them right now as Josh started to push himself deeper inside her, she could feel the tip of his cock scrape against her g-spot and she wanted more, so much more.

'I can't stop thinking about you, you drive me so fucking crazy, I wanna be inside you all the time, all the fucking time,' Josh locked eyes with Shannon as he bent his knees slightly to allow his cock to penetrate her at an even deeper angle.

'Oh Joshua, Joshua!' Shannon couldn't do anything other than to cry out his name, he was hitting the jackpot inside her and she was rapidly hurtling towards her climax at breakneck speed.

'Yeah, you gonna cum all over my big dick again huh? Naughty girl,' Josh groaned as he grabbed one of Shannon's legs and hooked it over his shoulder, her eyes widened as Josh kept pounding into her at a ridiculous pace, she was fit but not fit enough to keep up with him.

'Come on baby, cum for me,' Josh could barely hold on as he felt Shannon's pussy clench around him, her loud moans and cries of his name just made his ego fucking huge. He was the only man that could make her crumble like this, he was the only man that she'd let anywhere near her, he was exploring parts of her body that had only been touched by him and it made him so fucking thankful that he'd found her again. No one could make him feel like this, no woman was as beautiful as her and here he was pushing himself deeper into her wet core as she came so close to collapsing around him.

'God, God, Oh God….' Shannon hitched her other leg up and cried out as Josh put it over his free shoulder, she looked down and watched as his cock just slammed into her pussy again and again at an overwhelming pace. She cried out on top of her lungs, she was free to make as much noise as she wanted to with no one in the house and Josh definitely liked hearing her moans.

'Say my name,' Josh could tell by her strangled moans and little gasps that she was close to her climax and he wanted, no, needed to hear her call out his name as she fell over the edge.

'Joshua, oh fuck Joshua!' Shannon looked into his eyes as she crossed the line, her body trembled and began to jerk around on the thick table beneath her as she let herself go completely.

Josh watched in awe as Shannon succumbed to her climax, he continued to bury himself inside her twitching and palpitating channel as he sought his own release. The intensity of the climax hit Shannon hard and Josh's continued thrusts against her g-spot soon became too much for her to handle. She pushed herself up onto her elbows and managed to use one of her hands to grab his face and pull him forwards for a deep kiss.

'I wanna taste you,' Shannon moaned against his lips as she pulled back from the kiss.

'Oh yeah?' Josh groaned as he helped pull Shannon up off the table. 'You want me to cum inside that pretty mouth huh?'

'Uh huh, so stand back and let me do my thing,' Shannon moaned as she pushed Josh backwards until he came to a stop up against the kitchen counter.

His eyes glazed over as he watched Shannon drop to her knees in front of him, her gaze fixated on his cock as she opened her mouth and began to go to work on him. He fought against the urge to close his eyes, he wanted to see her, he wanted to watch every little thing that she did to him.

Shannon savoured the sweet taste of his juices mixed with hers as she began to take more of his length inside her mouth. She'd always loved giving him blowjobs, knowing that she could turn him on so much gave her confidence such a big boost. She'd feared that she wouldn't match up to the long list of women he'd been with but she had realised quite a while ago that she had nothing to fear at all. They fit together, they belonged together and no ghosts of previous lovers were going to tear them apart because when she looked at him, when she made love to him she could tell just how much he loved her and wanted her.

'That's right baby, suck my dick, take it baby,' Josh started to grind his hips a little as Shannon's mouth reached about halfway down his shaft. He let his hands wander down to her thick hair as she concentrated all her efforts on making him reach his climax, her hands wandered up to his stomach and caressed his soft skin as his moans became music to her ears.

When she glanced up to look at his face again their eyes met and with a loud cry of her name she felt his climax hit the back of her throat. She swallowed every drop that he had to give her and remained on her knees as Josh panted and groaned through his release. Taking her mouth away from him she began to gently caress his flaccid member with her hands until Josh pulled her back up onto her feet.

'Marry me,' Shannon grinned at Josh who was still panting a little, surely a blowjob couldn't have made him lose his damn mind?

'Uh Joshua honey, did you lose some brain cells along with the little soldiers you just spat out? I already said I'd marry you dumbass,' Josh pressed his forehead against hers and sighed, it probably wasn't the right time to say anything but fuck it, he couldn't go back now.

'No I mean, I WANT to marry you, soon. I don't wanna wait around another couple of years, fuck another year even! I want you to be my wife,' Shannon couldn't help but smile at him as his skin started to blush, he was getting all nervous and he had no need to be nervous because she felt the same way, being engaged was lovely but getting married would just be fantastic.

'We'll have to talk to our wedding planner and arrange something then,' Josh looked confused, they had a wedding planner?

'Uh, I didn't know you'd hired someone already….'

'No, I'm talking about Caitlin!' Shannon laughed. 'She'll be really excited, not as excited as me though.'

'So we're gonna get married then?' Josh asked and Shannon nodded with a big smile on her face.

'Yeah I guess so, if I'd only known that it would take a blowjob in the kitchen to help move things along we could SO be married by now,' Shannon replied before Josh's hands moved down to her waist.

'Well maybe if you rode me again that might help too…' Josh trailed off as Shannon silenced his words with a kiss.

Josh picked her up off the floor and Shannon wrapped her legs around his waist as he began to carry them out of the kitchen and into the lounge where he placed her down on the couch. Needless to say she was not going to get any studying done today.


	3. Chapter 3

**Really sorry about the delay, this took me so long to write! Thanks for the reviews so far, much appreciated as always. This update flits back and forth between different POV's quite a bit, I hope it's easy to follow and that it makes sense. Please leave a review, they make me a happy bunny! :)**

Chapter Three

'Come on dad hurry up!' Caitlin yelled upstairs to Josh who was searching in his wardrobe to try and find the leather jacket he'd bought just before leaving for King Crab season. He'd never worn it and now that he wanted to fucking wear it he couldn't find it.

'What's he looking for up there?' Shannon stepped out of the lounge carrying her books and papers in her arms, now that Caitlin and Josh were going out for the day she would finally have the chance to catch up on the studying that she really needed to get done before her class tomorrow night.

'His leather jacket, the one he bought a few months ago,' Caitlin rolled her eyes as she waited at the bottom of the stairs for her father to appear.

'Well he won't find it up there,' Shannon replied before she went into the kitchen to drop her books down on the table, she smirked a little when memories of her and Josh's little kitchen encounter came flooding back to her, eating breakfast from that table was never going to be the same again after what they'd done.

She then made her way back into the hallway and opened up the closet where Josh's jacket sat on a hook waiting for him.

'Joshua your jacket's down here where you left it!' Shannon shouted up the stairs as Josh continued to throw things out of his wardrobe in an attempt to find the missing jacket.

When he heard Shannon call up to him he smacked himself on the head, of course he'd left the fucking thing in the fucking closet downstairs! What the hell was he thinking?

He left half of his wardrobe on top of the bed, if he took the time to put everything away Caitlin would get even more antsy so he decided to leave his stuff as it was and he would sort it out when they came back.

'At last! It's not nice to keep a lady waiting,' Shannon smirked as Josh ran down the stairs.

'I'm usually the one waiting for you guys to finish fixing your hair and stuff so don't make fun of me,' Josh would have said something a little different had Caitlin not been in earshot but he'd managed to curb his swearing a great deal, he didn't want to set her a bad example.

'So can we go now?' Caitlin asked as Shannon handed Josh the jacket that he'd been looking for.

'Yep and what we do today is totally up to you, you're the boss,' Josh smiled, he hadn't spent a day alone with his girl in what seemed like forever, they really needed this time together today.

'Cool, I think I know what we can do,' Caitlin smiled before kissing Shannon goodbye.

She had already started to make her way to the car when Josh leaned down to kiss Shannon on the lips.

'I left some shit on the bed, I'll tidy up when we get back, we're gonna need that bed tonight,' Josh whispered in her ear before he pulled away.

'Oh is that so? Well you better stay out for a while, I have lots to do before class tomorrow night, if I don't get it done in the day I'll be studying through the night so there'll be no action for Mr Man,' Shannon glanced down at Josh's crotch before she gave him a kiss on the cheek. 'Have fun and take care.'

Josh watched for a few seconds as Shannon's sexy ass walked down the hall and into the kitchen where her books and papers were laid out on the table once again. When Caitlin called out to him he snapped himself out of his daze and went out front to meet her.

'So where do you wanna go?' Josh asked as he walked towards her.

'I was thinking that maybe we could go for a drive somewhere, I don't wanna go where anyone might see you because one of your fans will appear,' Caitlin rolled her eyes, Josh knew how much she hated it when people asked for an autograph or to have a picture taken with him, it was hard for her to adjust.

'That's a great idea, I need to have a private talk with you,' Josh smiled back at her before getting into the car.

'A private talk? Have I done something wrong?' Caitlin looked confused as she got into the car and slammed the door behind her.

'Nope, not as far as I know anyway. I need to talk to you about a wedding,' Josh started up the engine and couldn't help but laugh a little as Caitlin rubbed her hands together excitedly.

'At last! I have SO many ideas! Have you set a date yet?' Caitlin started with the questions before Josh had even finished backing out of the drive.

'Caitlin honey we haven't even decided on a place yet but your mom and I had a little talk yesterday, we want to try and do this as soon as we can. I want us to be a proper family,' Josh continued to talk to Caitlin as he began to drive off down the street.

He decided to head to Steven's Pass which was about an hour's drive away. They could pull in there and talk without being disturbed by anyone, if they went to a café or even to the local park the chances were that someone would interrupt them.

'We can all look at places tonight online then you guys can book something tomorrow, mom and I can go dress shopping next weekend, Emily's mom makes cakes…'

Josh tried to keep up with what Caitlin was saying as she started to reel off a list of things that they would need for the perfect wedding, he could totally see his daughter being an event planner in the future, she seemed to know everything that there was to know about weddings. It was good to see her so happy and at ease again, before he went to Alaska he could sense that Caitlin was pulling away from him slightly, it was like she was preparing herself for him not to come back home after the season had finished and that hurt him so bad. He wanted her to know just how much both she and Shannon meant to him, he wanted everyone to know that he had changed for the better, he wasn't the wild party guy anymore, he wanted to settle down and be a good dad and a damn good husband.

Shannon had just sat down at the table in the kitchen to begin her mammoth study session when the phone began to ring. At first she was decided to ignore it, she really needed to get some work done but after a couple of minutes the phone continued to ring.

'This better be fucking good!' Shannon huffed as she got up from the table and walked over to the kitchen counter to grab the cordless phone. 'Hello!'

'Oh hello, can I speak to Josh Harris please?' An unfamiliar female voice asked.

'He's not here at the moment, can I take a message for him?' Shannon replied.

'Well I'm calling from the Virginia Mason Emergency Room, a Jacob Harris has been brought in…'

'Oh God, is he okay? What's happened to him?' Shannon interrupted the woman before she could say anything else, she'd been waiting for a call like this for months but she'd hoped that Jake would see sense before something like this could happen.

'He's doing okay, I can't go into any details with you over the phone, if you could contact Mr Harris and let him know that his brother is here…'

'Well I'm his fiancé, why can't you tell me anything?' Shannon interrupted the woman again.

'Please, just get Mr Harris to contact us as soon as he can,' the woman put the phone down on Shannon who immediately screamed in frustration. She had no idea what the fuck was going on, what the hell was she meant to say to Josh?

She tried to take a few deep breaths in an attempt to calm herself down, she knew that Caitlin and Josh really needed to spend some time together but right now he had to be there for his brother, he could be in a really bad way.

'So who's this Ben kid that your mom mentioned the other day?' Josh looked at Caitlin who immediately began to blush, they were sat in his car at Steven's Pass blissfully unaware that something had happened to Jake.

'He plays soccer too, he's one of my friends,' Caitlin replied.

'Soo he's not your boyfriend? Because you know you're too young to date anyone…'

'No dad he's not my boyfriend so chill!' Caitlin was still blushing furiously, Josh could so tell that his daughter had a crush on this Ben kid, Jesus she was only twelve years old and he was already panicking about boyfriends, things were only going to get worse as she got older. 'Anyway didn't you and mom meet when you were like thirteen? I bet you had a crush on her as soon as you met her.'

'Oh so you have a crush on this kid huh? You should invite him to dinner one night, I'd like to meet him,' Josh was pretty sure that he could terrify the kid, his daughter was too young to be messing around with boys.

Caitlin was about to reply when Josh's cell phone began to ring, he picked it up and looked at the screen to see that it was Shannon who was calling him, if it had been anyone else he would have ignored the call but because it was her he decided to answer.

'Hey baby, what's up?' Josh said as he answered.

'Uh Josh, you need to come home, I've just had a phone call from the ER at Virginia Mason, something's happened to Jake but they wouldn't tell me over the phone what was wrong, one of us needs to be there,' Shannon let everything spill out all at once, she wanted to break the news gently but there wasn't really a nice or easy way to tell Josh that something had happened to his brother.

'I'll er, I'll bring Caitlin home then I'll go, won't be long,' Josh said in a daze before he ended the call.

'Dad, is everything okay?' Caitlin knew right away that something was wrong, the colour drained from Josh's face as he clutched the steering wheel so hard that his hands turned a deathly shade of white.

The last time he'd seen Jake had been a few days before he'd gone to Alaska, even though their relationship was strained because of his addiction both Josh and Phil continued to visit him on a regular basis. He was sinking lower and lower as time passed and Josh had been dreading receiving a call like this, he immediately began to think the worst, what if Jake was dead? They wouldn't break news like that over the phone would they?

'Dad?' Caitlin's hand came to rest on top of his, the contact from his worried looking daughter made him snap back to reality, he had to get to the hospital and fast.

'I'm uh, I'm gonna take you home so you can stay with mom, Uncle Jake's been taken to hospital,' Josh started up the car and began to reverse.

'We should go straight there, mom can meet us at the hospital,' Caitlin replied but Josh shook his head, he didn't want her anywhere near the hospital. They'd kept Caitlin away from Jake, he really wanted his brother and his daughter to bond but he couldn't allow Caitlin to be around a drug addict, what sort of father would he be if he let his junkie brother anywhere near her?

'Why do you always treat me like a baby? I'm NOT a baby, I know that Uncle Jake is sick and I know why, I'm not stupid!' Caitlin snapped.

'Caitlin don't argue with me right now! You're going home and you're staying with your mom, that's final! I'm not in the mood to listen to you whining!' Josh snapped back, silencing Caitlin who turned in her seat to look out of her window.

Neither of them spoke as Josh put his foot down to get back home as soon as possible. Thankfully, the roads were very quiet and he managed to make it back to the house after just forty minutes. As soon as they pulled up on the drive Caitlin unbuckled her seat belt and jumped out of the car, slamming the door hard behind her before she ran to knock on the front door.

Shannon had been pacing around the lounge when she heard a hammering at the door, she quickly made her way into the hallway and to the front door, as soon as she opened it an obviously upset Caitlin pushed past her and ran straight upstairs without saying a word, she was about to go after her to find out what was wrong when Josh appeared at the doorway.

'I'm gonna go to the hospital, stay here with Caitlin,' Josh looked really shaken up and Shannon didn't like the idea of him going to the hospital alone.

'No, Caitlin and I will come with you, we can wait in the car at least…'

'Jesus Shannon just listen to me for once in your fucking life!' Josh yelled at her, she wanted to scream back at him but she held herself back, he was worried and scared, arguing with him would only make things a million times worse.

Instead, she remained at the door and watched as Josh got back into his car and sped off down the street, she was tempted to follow him just to make sure that he'd be okay but with Caitlin upset and hiding away in her room she decided that it was best for her to stay and sort Caitlin out.

As soon as his car disappeared from sight Shannon stepped inside the house and closed the doors behind her, taking in a deep breathe she started to make her way upstairs to Caitlin's room. Going by how Josh had snapped at her just now Shannon guessed that he'd also snapped at Caitlin.

When she got to Caitlin's door instead of going straight inside she started to knock, Caitlin lost it if she just went into her room without knocking, she used to do the same when her mother would suddenly barge in on her.

'If it's you dad just leave me alone!' Caitlin shouted out after Shannon knocked on the door for a second time, on that note she decided to enter the room to find out just what had happened between Caitlin and Josh. 'Sorry mom, I thought it was him.' Caitlin sighed as Shannon took a seat next to her on the bed.

'He's gone to the hospital to see Uncle Jake, he probably won't be back for a while,' Shannon replied, she guessed that Caitlin knew about Jake.

'Dad treats me like I'm a baby, he thinks I don't know what's going on with Jake but I do! He yelled at me because I wanted to go to the hospital with him, he won't let me do anything!' Caitlin sighed heavily.

'Caitlin honey, your dad's only been a part of your life for a year, he's missed out on getting the chance to hold you as a baby, having the chance to raise you and that's my fault, he's trying his best to look after you and protect you and he's going to make some mistakes, but no matter what he says or how he says it he loves you so much. Jake is going through a really rough time right now and believe me honey, you don't want to see him as he is, dad is just trying to protect you, he's not trying to baby you or upset you,' Shannon replied, hoping that Caitlin could understand just why Josh was so reluctant to let her see Jake.

'But he didn't have to yell at me and act like an ass!' Caitlin replied.

'Honey I'm gonna let you into a little secret, most men act like asses at some point in their lives but your dad is the best guy that I've ever known. He might yell sometimes and you might not always like what he has to say but he really does have your best interests at heart. This whole situation with Jake, it upsets him baby and in all honesty, none of us know how to handle things. Addiction is an illness but it's so complicated, your dad has tried so hard to persuade Jake to get help but he doesn't want help and your father gets angry and frustrated, now that he's in hospital he's scared. I don't think he meant to yell at you and he certainly didn't mean to upset you, he's just finding things hard to deal with right now so we need to be there for him and look after him, we can do that can't we?' Shannon took Caitlin's hand in hers and looked her right in the eye.

'We should go to the hospital and make sure he's okay, hospitals are horrible,' Caitlin replied after both of them remained silent for a few minutes and Shannon felt so relieved, she wanted to be at the hospital for both Jake and Josh. She didn't want Caitlin to see Jake but at least if they were there they could wait outside and be there for Josh if he needed a shoulder to cry on.

'Thank you,' Shannon smiled as Caitlin wrapped her arms around her neck and gave her a hug.

'I love you mom,' hearing those words from her daughter never failed to make her choke up a little. She was truly blessed to have such an intelligent, beautiful and caring child.

They hugged for a couple of minutes until Shannon eventually pulled away, they needed to get to the hospital as soon as possible. She worried about what Josh would do to Jake if they were left alone for any length of time, Josh had pleaded with him so many times over the past year to get help but Jake didn't want to listen. Now something bad had happened, they'd been expecting it to happen for a while but that didn't make it any less painful. If Jake still refused to see that he had a problem then she knew that Josh would lose it and she wanted to be there to stop a fight, fighting wasn't going to help anyone, least of all Josh.

When Josh pulled up outside the Virginia Mason ER department he sat for a few minutes in the car just staring at the building. He was dreading what sort of state he'd find Jake in when he saw him, if he'd been admitted to hospital then obviously he was in a bad way. Josh had seen him out of it many times before and each time he saw his brother he seemed to be slipping further and further into a deep abyss, now that he was in hospital Josh hoped, fuck he prayed that he would finally see sense and realise that he needed help before it was too late. He was seeing his brother slowly dying in front of his eyes and there was nothing that he could do about it, if he could go through the treatment himself he would, he would do anything to help him but Jake was the only person that could sort his life out. The thought crossed his mind that maybe it was all too late, maybe he'd walk into the ER to be told that his brother had passed away or that he'd taken so much shit that his brain would be permanently damaged, if that happened what the hell was he going to do? He'd have to call his father and tell him that his youngest son was dead, how could he make that call?

He'd sat in his car long enough, he had to go and find out what was going on with Jake. When he got out of the car he could feel his whole body starting to tremble, he'd always prided himself on being so strong and so fucking tough but even he couldn't remain tough at a moment like this. His legs somehow managed to carry him into the hospital which was packed with people, he passed the waiting area and walked straight ahead to the main reception desk, he was stuck in a queue with two people waiting ahead of him which made things ten times worse.

He had to wait a good ten minutes before it was his turn to speak to the receptionist.

'My fiancé got a call from someone here, my brother's been brought in, his name's Jake Harris,' Josh said to the plump woman behind the desk.

'Ah yes Mr Harris, I'm afraid you've just missed him,' the receptionist replied casually.

'Uh, what do you mean I've just missed him?' Josh asked, his anger began to quietly bubble beneath the surface as the receptionist just looked at him like she didn't give a shit.

'Your brother checked himself out ten minutes ago,' she replied, she didn't even tell him what the fuck Jake had been brought in for, why was she acting like this was some sort of fucking game?

'Are you even gonna tell me what the hell he was brought here for in the first place or is this some sort of guessing game?' Josh tried to remain calm but he was finding it extremely hard not to just yell at her in frustration.

'Your brother OD'd but he was taken care of, he was advised to stay for a while by the doctor but he chose to leave, we couldn't force him to stay Mr Harris, I'm sorry,' the receptionist replied apologetically.

Instead of his anger being focused on her, his anger immediately became focused on his fucking idiot of a brother, how could he just od and walk out like nothing had fucking happened?

'Thank you,' Josh replied quickly to the receptionist before he turned on his heel and made his way back outside to his car, he knew that Jake would head straight back home, probably to get wasted all over again. This shit had to end, he had to make him see sense and get him some help because none of them could go on like this forever. As soon as he reached his car he turned his key in the ignition and backed out of the parking space. He was heading to Jake's to sort this shit out once and for all.

Shannon drove as fast as she could to the hospital, she was worried about both Josh and Jake, she knew how easy it was for both of them to fly off the handle and start fighting with each other and she needed to be there to try and calm things down. It wasn't ideal that Caitlin was with her but she didn't want to leave her at home alone, dropping her off with someone would only have wasted more time and she didn't have much time to waste.

'Mom!' Caitlin exclaimed as Shannon drove down the street where she could see the hospital in the distance.

'What is it?' Shannon asked as she kept her eyes on the road ahead.

'I think dad just passed us, I'm sure it was him!' Caitlin replied and Shannon immediately looked in her rear view mirror, she could see a car driving off in the distance and it looked like it could be Josh's but she doubted that it was him, he wouldn't leave the hospital so soon, would he?

'We're almost at the hospital sweetie, we need to go there first,' Shannon said as she put her foot down even harder on the accelerator.

Within five minutes they pulled up in the hospital car park, she looked for Josh's car but she couldn't see it anywhere, maybe Caitlin had been right about Josh passing them after all?

'Okay, don't go wandering off anywhere when we go in there, I want you to stay close to me,' Shannon looked at Caitlin who rolled her eyes.

'Mom you sound just like dad, I know how to behave!' Caitlin huffed before she opened the car door.

Shannon followed suit and got out of the car, she had a feeling that it was going to be impossible to keep Caitlin away from Jake, she was so determined and headstrong that if she wanted something, she would get it no matter what she had to do.

'Come on, it's this way to the ER,' Caitlin walked a little in front of Shannon who followed her daughter into the Emergency Room entrance.

The place was pretty crowded but Josh was nowhere to be seen, then again if he was here he would probably be with Jake, not sitting in the waiting area. Shannon joined the queue of people waiting to be seen by the receptionist, she couldn't just wander back into the ER to search for Jake when she had no clue where he was, he could even be in a different part of the hospital by now.

It took at least ten minutes for the receptionist to deal with the people in front of her and the more time that passed the more nervous Shannon became about what might happen between Jake and Josh if she wasn't there to try and calm things down. When the person in front of her finally moved out of the way she breathed a sigh of relief as she came face to face with the bored looking receptionist.

'I'm here to see Jake Harris, he was admitted this morning,' Shannon said.

'He's not here I'm afraid, he checked himself out of here half an hour ago, someone came in looking for him about fifteen minutes ago,' she replied and Shannon really began to panic, she knew how mad Josh would be and Caitlin was right, it probably was Josh that had passed them in his car and she knew exactly where he would be going.

'Come on honey, we need to leave,' Shannon grabbed Caitlin's hand and quickly began to make her way out of the ER, she didn't really want to take Caitlin to Jake's place but she had no choice, she had to stop Josh from doing something really fucking stupid.

'JAKE! I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE SO FUCKING OPEN THIS FUCKING DOOR BEFORE I KICK IT DOWN!' Josh hammered at the door as he yelled, he could hear movement inside the apartment so he knew that his brother was home and he would get inside even if he had to fucking kick the door down, enough was enough.

He'd sped over here to his fucking shitty apartment in the crappiest part of down to sort him out once and for all, things couldn't carry on like this, everyone was suffering not just Jake.

Josh waited for a few minutes and Jake didn't come to the door, he was about to throw himself full force at the wooden frame when suddenly he heard keys entering the lock. He waited for another few seconds as Jake opened the door and came face to face with him, words couldn't even begin to describe how terrible he looked, this wasn't his brother staring back at him, he didn't know who this person was anymore but it wasn't Jake.

'What do you want?' Jake slurred as Josh pushed his way inside, nearly knocking Jake to the floor as he passed him.

'You know exactly what I fucking want you selfish piece of shit, how can you even stand there and pretend that nothing is fucking wrong when you've just been in hospital for an overdose?' Josh snapped and nearly punched Jake square in the jaw when he rolled his misted eyes at him.

'I told that fucking dumb bitch not to call anyone, I just drank a little too much….'

'Don't fucking LIE to me Jake! I'm sick of this, I'm sick of fucking worrying about you every single fucking day! Every fucking time the phone rings or someone knocks on the door I expect it to be the police or someone from the hospital coming to tell me that you're dead, do you know what that feels like for me? What that feels like for dad? Do you even give a shit about ANY of us Jake?' Josh let his feelings pour out in one huge rant, he'd been bottling everything up for months and months and now he couldn't stop his emotions from spilling out.

'No one NEEDS to worry about me, least of all you! Look at some of the shit that you did when you were my age, you stuck your dick in any fucking piece of pussy that came close to you, you could drink twice as much as I could and I know that you did drugs so don't pretend to be some sort of fucking saint when you're not!' Jake yelled at his brother who began to clamp his hands into fists, he really wanted to fucking punch him so bad but he'd made a promise to Caitlin and Shannon that he wouldn't get violent again.

'Don't try and turn this fucking shit on me Jake, this is about YOU! Yeah I fucked around and I experimented and shit but I stopped because I knew where I would end up if I kept taking shit every weekend, you CAN'T stop! You've lost control Jake, just fucking admit it and you can get help!' Josh pleaded with his brother who just seemed to look right through him.

'I don't NEED any fucking help! What I NEED is for you to get the FUCK out of here and leave me the fuck alone!' Jake opened his front door and held onto it tightly as he gave Josh a look full of hatred, how had things got this bad between them, how had it come to this?

'I didn't want it to come to this Jake but I don't have a choice,' Josh shook his head as he looked at his brother, before Jake could react Josh picked him up off his feet and easily threw his slim frame over his shoulder.

'WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING? PUT ME DOWN NOW!' Jake yelled as he started to kick out at Josh, it hurt but Josh wasn't going to put him down, if he wouldn't go to treatment willingly Josh was going to drag him there, it was for his own good.

'This doesn't look like a nice place,' Caitlin commented as they drove closer and closer to Jake's apartment. It was a pretty rough area and it went very much against the grain for her to bring Caitlin here but she didn't have much of a choice, she had to get to Josh.

When she finally turned onto Jake's street she looked ahead to his front yard and her blood ran cold.

'Mom! What the hell is dad doing?' Caitlin immediately yelled as she too saw the same sight that she could see. Josh was carrying a kicking and flailing Jake over his shoulder down the front path, some of the neighbours had come out of their houses to watch the scene and knowing this neighbourhood, Shannon began to panic. One of them could easily pull out a gun and shoot at Josh or jump on him to get him away from Jake, this was a complete fucking disaster.

She put her foot down flat on the accelerator and screeched to halt as she reached the apartment in less than ten seconds.

'You stay here honey and lock the doors behind you,' Shannon said quickly to a dumbfounded Caitlin who just stared out of the windshield to the scene that was playing out in front of her.

'JOSH!'

He turned as soon as he heard her voice, he wasn't expecting her to leave the house, not after he'd told her to stay at home, he should have known that her stubborn ass wouldn't listen.

'Let him go, this isn't the answer baby!' Shannon shook her head as she approached Josh, Jake had now stopped kicking him which was something.

'Yeah, listen to your new bit of pussy Josh, he'll get bored of you soon Shannon, you don't know the half of what he got up to when you were gone!'

Jake's words made Josh see red as he threw him down on his feet and pushed him up against the side of his car.

'You EVER speak to the mother of my child like that again and we're fucking done! This is your chance Jake, you HAVE to know that you need help, all of these words that come out of your fucking mouth, this isn't you! This isn't who you are! Please, let's do this the easy way…'

Josh lightened his grip on Jake enough for him to make a run for it, he was about to chase after him when Shannon grabbed his arm and made him turn to look at her.

'You can't do it this way Josh, you can't. You can drag him to rehab kicking and screaming but you and I both know that he won't stay,' Shannon reached out and stroked Josh's cheek as he bit down hard on his lip to try and stop any tears from falling.

'I'm so scared of losing him Shannon and there's nothing I can do, I just…I just miss my brother so much,' Shannon wrapped her arms around Josh's neck and held him close to her. Nothing that she could say right now would make him feel any better, she knew that.

All she could do was be there for him and be a shoulder for him to cry on, as much as they fought she knew how much both brothers loved and cared about each other, it would devastate Josh if Jake couldn't make it through this.

'Let's go home, Caitlin can show you the rest of her soccer games,' Shannon smiled as she pulled away from Josh and took his hand to lead him to the car.

Josh and Phil had tried so many times to get through to Jake but he wouldn't listen to either of them, Shannon didn't know Jake that well, not since she'd moved away from Seattle but she wondered whether she could maybe be the one to talk some sense into him. As she got inside the car she looked at Jake's apartment and decided there and then that she would come back alone to try and talk to him, she had to try and get through to him for Josh and for Phil.


	4. Chapter 4

**As always, thanks so much for the reviews! A long chapter once again and a big thank you to WildViolet for helping me out with this chapter and teaching me lots about the American school system! Hope you like, please leave a review, thanks :)**

Chapter Four

'Hi, this is Shannon Andrews, I'm in Professor Richards evening class, I'm just calling to ask you to let him know that I won't be able to make it to class tonight, I'll be there next week, thank you,' Shannon put the phone down after she left the message on her Professor's Security's answerphone, there was no way that she could leave Josh tonight.

He'd been so quiet since yesterday when he'd seen Jake for the first time in months, she knew that he was hurting and right now being there for him was her number one priority. She wanted to try and make everything right but she couldn't and it hurt her so much to see him so down and depressed.

It was just past twelve in the afternoon and he was still in bed, he was wide awake, he had been for most of the night but he didn't seem to want to talk to her. She didn't really know what she could say or do to make him feel any better, the only thing that would perk him up right now was Jake admitting that he needed help and judging by what happened yesterday, he was a long way away from facing up to his problems.

'Hey,' Shannon jumped when she heard his voice, she'd expected him to stay in bed all day.

'Hey baby, you look so tired, why don't you go back to bed and I'll make you something to eat?' Josh shook his head and walked towards her, wrapping his arms around her waist and burying his head against her neck as he looked for comfort, comfort that only she could give right now.

'I need you so much Shannon, I don't want you to leave…'

'Leave? Josh I am not going anywhere, I left you once and I'm not making the same mistake again, I'm here for good,' Shannon pulled away from him so she could look into his eyes and prove to him that she meant every word that she said.

'I don't want you and Caitlin to be dragged through all this shit with Jake, you and I both know that things are gonna get worse, a lot worse,' Josh sighed heavily. He'd been thinking about Jake ever since he'd seen him yesterday, his head told him to just leave him alone, not visit him and almost forget about him until he was willing to seek help but his heart just couldn't cut him out of his life. He didn't want Shannon and Caitlin to suffer through this situation with him, it wasn't fair on either of them.

'I love you Joshua and no matter how bad things get, I'll be here to get you through, Caitlin will be here too. If we leave, how will that help Caitlin and I? We love being here with you, we love YOU and we are not going anywhere so don't argue with me because you know how stubborn I am and I'll win, I always win,' Shannon wrapped her arms around Josh's neck and pulled him close to her. She wanted to magically take his pain away but she couldn't, all she could do was to assure him that she wouldn't leave, she couldn't leave, she belonged here with him.

'I just want everything to be perfect and it's not, it's never going to be fucking perfect is it? I mean, Caitlin fucking hates my guts right now…'

'That's not true Josh, she's just going through her awkward, moody pre-teen stage. Her hormones are all over the place right now, I went through the same thing with my dad, she really doesn't hate you Josh. She's just finding her own way of coping with your 'fame' and you being away a lot, she'll get there,' Shannon assured him, she was going to have to have a little private talk with Caitlin. She knew that so many different things were happening to her right now, her body was changing and her hormones were going into overdrive but she didn't want her drifting apart from her dad, she wanted them to be close to one another.

'I just feel like she's pulling away from me I mean, I miss out on so much and I know that she wants me to be here more, I want to be here too but right now, I can't seem to do anything right can I?' It wasn't just Jake that was playing on Josh's mind, his relationship with Caitlin seemed to be taking a huge nose dive and it hurt like hell because he didn't know how he could make things right again.

'If it wasn't for you we wouldn't have a roof over our heads and there'd be no food on the table, Caitlin will have to understand that your job means that you will be away from us for months at a time. She's grown up with me, she's used to me, she's still getting used to having you around and I'm to blame for that Josh….'

'Shannon don't, you did what you thought was best at the time and I don't blame you for leaving like you did. I just want her to love me,' Shannon was breaking inside seeing Josh so down, she loved Caitlin so much but she really had been giving him such a rough time recently. The fans and the attention that Josh received wasn't his fault, he didn't ask for people to interrupt them for autographs or photographs when they went out as a family. Josh had done so much for both of them, he worked so hard to provide everything that they wanted and needed, Shannon had to find a way to get through to Caitlin and make her see that she needed to keep her dad close, not push him away.

'She does love you Josh, she really does. Both of us love you and deep down, so does Jake. I know that things are hard right now but it will get better,' Josh wanted to believe what she was saying, he really did but if an overdose couldn't make Jake snap out of his drug induced daze then what would?

'I need to take my mind off things for a while, Caitlin's not gonna be back for a few hours,' Shannon jumped a little as his cold hands ran up underneath the back of her shirt. 'I just wanna forget everything that's happened, you can help me do that,' Josh moaned as he leaned in to pepper Shannon's soft neck with kisses.

He knew that making love to Shannon wasn't going to solve his problems but it could at least make him feel better for a while, he wanted to get lost in her, to drown in her while he had the chance.

Shannon expected Josh to take her there and then, just like he'd done the other day but he surprised her by pulling away and taking her hands. He led her up the stairs and into their bedroom where he sat her down on the bed. She reached for his pants but he immediately pushed her hands away and shook his head.

'It's my turn to explore you, let me do this my way,' Josh needed to be in control this time and Shannon was going to let him do this his way even though she was already desperate to feel him inside her.

'I just wanna get lost in you, I just wanna forget everything for a while,' Josh pulled her shirt off and filled his hands with her ample bosoms. 'I need you so much Shannon…'

'Sshh baby, I'm here, I'm not going anywhere, I'm all yours,' Shannon replied as Josh fell to his knees in front of her.

She cradled his head in her hands as his chapped lips pressed tender kisses against her stomach. He was seen as this big tough guy by his fellow fisherman and the viewers of Deadliest Catch but he was so gentle and loving, he'd always been gentle and loving with her. She was always amazed by how light his touches and kisses could be, she loved it when he got rough with her but this tender side of Josh was her favourite.

Josh could smell and taste the mango scented body butter that Shannon used on her skin every day, even when he was thousands of miles away from her he could smell and taste her by just thinking about her beautiful face. Everything about her was engrained in his brain, most of the guys wouldn't understand just how deeply in love he was, they liked screwing around and having one night stands with women they didn't care about but he'd lived that life and he never wanted to go back there again.

After lavishing her stomach with kisses he finally pulled his head up and locked eyes with her as his hands wandered around to her back so he could unhook her bra. She let it slide down slowly until her erect nipples came into view, as soon as Josh caught sight of the pert, hard pebbles he wrapped his mouth around one whilst his fingers gently caressed the other.

'Oh Joshua,' Shannon sighed happily as she let her head fall back slightly, she couldn't help but give in to the feelings that he was sending shooting through her body.

Since he'd got home the sex had been rough, hard and passionate but now he needed slow and gentle. As he worshipped her nipples with his warm wet tongue the house phone began to ring. Shannon let her head snap back up and Josh growled against her breast.

'Ignore it, they can call us back,' Josh groaned before he went back to work on her breasts.

Shannon tried to focus on what Josh was doing to her but the phone wouldn't stop ringing. After a couple of minutes she was about to tear Josh's head away from her when the ringing stopped. She started to get into it again but then her cell phone began to buzz against her leg, she knew then that she had to force Josh away.

'Someone obviously needs to talk to us, it could be Jake,' Shannon said as Josh voiced his disapproval as she pulled his head away from her pert nipple.

He remained on his knees and watched Shannon as she took the cell phone out of her pocket and answered it.

'Hello?' Her brief look at the screen showed her that whoever was calling was doing so from a withheld number.

'Hello there is this Shannon Andrews, Caitlin's mother?' Shannon immediately recognised the female voice on the other end of the line, it was Caitlin's Principal, Jayne.

'Yes it is, is Caitlin okay? She's not hurt or sick is she?' Shannon started to panic, any call from the school surely wasn't a good sign was it?

'Caitlin's not hurt, she's fine. I'm afraid there has been an incident at school today involving Caitlin and we need you to come in and talk to us,' she replied.

'What sort of incident?' Shannon locked eyes with Josh who was going grey with each second that passed.

'Caitlin was involved in an altercation with another girl in her class, we need you to come to the school right away,' Shannon couldn't really believe what she was hearing, Caitlin involved in a fight?

'What sort of an altercation are we talking about and who started it?' Josh's heart began to race as soon as he heard the word 'altercation'. He'd been involved in enough of those in his time but surely Caitlin wouldn't start a fight with anyone? She just wasn't that sort of girl.

'Caitlin was the aggressor Miss Andrews, the other girl is fine but we can't allow this sort of behaviour to be tolerated at our school which is why I need you to come in and speak to us immediately,' the Principal replied curtly.

'We'll be there right away,' Josh watched as Shannon put her phone down on the bed and reached for her bra, he expected her to tell him right away what the fuck was going on but she just looked shell shocked.

'So are you gonna tell me what the fuck is wrong or do I have to try and guess?' Shannon snapped out of her daze and looked at Josh as she put her bra back on.

'Caitlin got into a fight, a fight which she started, the Principal wants us at the school right away,' Shannon couldn't really believe what was happening, Caitlin just wasn't the type of girl to go around starting fights, something must have happened to provoke her, she wouldn't have done this otherwise.

'Guess I'd better put some clothes on,' Josh didn't really know what to say, he never expected his little girl to get into a fight, he never expected his little girl to get into any trouble whatsoever.

Shannon was ready in less than a minute, then again she'd only had to put her bra and shirt back on whereas Josh had only had his pants on to begin with.

'I'll go wait in the car, don't take too long, we need to find out what the hell is going on,' Shannon commented to Josh who tried to hurry things up a little.

He didn't have time to shower or wash so he sprayed liberal amounts of deodorant and cologne all over his body then his clothes, he was fully dressed in less than five minutes, he grabbed a packet of cigarettes off the bedside table and lit one as he walked down the stairs. Shannon had left his keys in the door so he locked up the house and jogged to the car where Shannon was waiting in the driver's seat.

As soon as he closed the door behind him she began to back out of the driveway. She'd always been a speed demon on the road and this trip was no exception, she seemed to be travelling at one hundred miles per hour weaving through the streets to get to Caitlin's school. There were times that Josh wanted to tell her to slow the fuck down but he knew better than to criticise her driving, the last time he'd complained she'd flicked his ear and it hurt like hell for days.

Neither of them spoke as Shannon rushed to get to the school. Some people wouldn't see fighting as a huge deal but to Shannon it was, she'd not brought her daughter up to behave that way and no matter what had been said to her, she shouldn't have started a fight.

When they pulled up outside the school Shannon was quick to jump out of the car. Her emotions were all over the place, she was angry, sad, disappointed, ashamed, she just needed to understand why this had happened.

'Shannon you need to keep calm in there okay?' Josh could tell that Shannon was not happy, he wasn't exactly fucking ecstatic about this himself but he was going to wait until he got home to voice his disapproval to Caitlin.

'I will keep fucking calm, I'm not stupid!' Shannon rolled her eyes as she locked up the car and began walking into the school.

Josh just kept quiet and bit his tongue, sometimes it was just better to not say anything at all when Shannon was in one of her moods, that was something else he learned pretty quickly when they first became friends. Instead he just grabbed her hand and held onto it tightly as they walked into the school together, whatever Caitlin had done they were going to deal with this together, he'd never been tough on Caitlin, he usually left all the disciplining to Shannon but this time he knew he had to step up.

When they turned the corner to the Principal's Office they both saw Caitlin sitting outside with her arms folded across her chest, their footsteps made her look in their direction and as soon as she saw them walking towards her she immediately looked down at the ground.

'You have a lot of explaining to do young lady,' Shannon said as she approached her daughter, she tried to remain as calm as possible because she didn't want to cause a scene at the school, enough damage had been done today already.

'It wasn't my fault, she shouldn't have said anything then I wouldn't have had to hit her! She's so dumb!' Caitlin replied as she took her eyes off the floor to stare at Shannon defiantly.

'What did she say to you? Has she been picking on you?' Before Caitlin could answer, Miss Lewis opened her door.

'Ah Miss Andrews, Mr Harris, thank you for getting here so quickly, would you like to come in and take a seat?' Josh hadn't said anything at all but before he followed Shannon inside the office he glanced at Caitlin who returned his momentary gaze with a glare. The look that she gave him made his stomach drop, their relationship just wasn't right at all and he really didn't know what he'd done wrong.

Caitlin remained in her seat outside as Shannon and Josh walked into her small office and sat opposite her large table.

'So who was it that Caitlin got into a fight with? Was something said beforehand? Did the other girl push her or do something to her first?' Shannon started to ask questions as soon as they sat down, she didn't see the point in hanging around.

'As I said on the phone Miss Andrews, Caitlin instigated the fight, she wasn't pushed or touched. I can't tell you the name of the person she hit due to confidentiality laws that I must abide by, Caitlin can tell you if she chooses to but I can't say anything. What I can tell you is that Caitlin slapped this person across the face after words were exchanged, ' as soon as Shannon heard that words had been exchanged she began to think that maybe the person Caitlin hit had been picking on her or saying things to her for some time.

'But you said words were exchanged? What sort of words are we talking about here? Is this person bullying my daughter? Maybe that's why she lashed out like she did, she's not the sort of girl to go around starting fights with people for no reason Mrs Lewis, you know that as well as I do!' Shannon tried to defend her daughter, she was sure that there had to be a reason for her doing this.

'I tried to find out what was said but Caitlin admitted as soon as she was brought to my office that she wasn't being bullied, that was the first question I asked her, she's a very popular girl here Miss Andrews and you're right, I was very shocked when she was brought to my office because she is normally so well behaved but I can't ignore this incident,' Mrs Lewis shook her head and Shannon had already guessed what her daughter's punishment would be. There was no point in sitting here discussing the matter with her, she was anxious to get Caitlin home and find out exactly what had happened.

'I'm guessing that you're going to suspend her from school?' Shannon said and Mrs Lewis nodded.

'The school has a zero tolerance policy on fighting so I have no choice but to suspend her for this, she can return to school on Monday,' that meant that Caitlin had been suspended for three days.

'We'll talk to her about this, it won't happen again, I'm sorry,' Shannon was upset that this was happening but she knew better than to argue. Three days seemed a little harsh but what could she do?

'You can take Caitlin home now, if you have any problems or concerns then you can contact me here,' Mrs Lewis smiled as she rose from her seat and offered her hand to both Shannon and Josh.

Once they'd said their terribly formal goodbyes they left the office to collect Caitlin who was still sat with her arms crossed.

'Come on, we're taking you home,' Shannon watched as Caitlin picked up her bag and threw it over her shoulder with a sigh, she had plenty of attitude for someone who'd just been suspended from school. She showed no remorse for what had happened and no shame either, Shannon really didn't know what had gotten into her lately.

'Don't be too hard on her, we don't know what the person said to get her to react like that,' Josh whispered to Shannon as Caitlin walked on ahead of them.

'This is part of the problem Josh, you're too soft on her! No matter what was said she shouldn't have hit them! If the person has been picking on her for a while then yeah, I get why she would hit them but I know Caitlin, she would have told me if someone was giving her shit. I know you want to be her friend Josh but you're her father, you have to discipline her and keep her in line, that role doesn't just belong to me, it belongs to you too,' Shannon replied, she loved Josh so much but when it came to Caitlin he let her walk all over him.

'Where's the car?' Caitlin turned around when they got outside and snapped at both of them.

'You can cut it with the attitude right now young lady! You hit someone Caitlin and you haven't even apologised for your behaviour yet!'

'Okay girls, I think we should take this argument home…'

'It's all your fault that this happened anyway!' Caitlin interrupted Josh by yelling at him.

'Don't speak to your father like that!' Shannon chastised Caitlin because it was evident that Josh wasn't going to.

'You ALWAYS stick up for him! Uch!' Caitlin spun around dramatically and started walking over to the car, Shannon was about to call her back when Josh put his hand on her arm.

'Let's not do this shit here, wait until we get home,' Josh knew that Shannon would lose it there and then if he didn't step in, he wasn't exactly happy by what she'd said but he was totally confused, why would she blame this on him when he hadn't even fucking been here?

'You have to put your foot down Josh, I mean it! You keep being nice to her all the time she is gonna push and push, you have to tell her when she's out of line!' Shannon walked away from Josh before she exploded, she was annoyed that he hadn't told Caitlin not to talk to him like crap, he had to start laying down the law.

When Shannon reached the car she totally ignored Caitlin, if she spoke to her she knew that they would end up arguing and Josh was right, the school parking lot wasn't the place to start yelling and arguing.

Josh decided that he would drive the car back home, he didn't want a repeat of the hair raising drive here. The silence was awkward as Josh drove home at a reasonable speed, Caitlin huffed from time to time and he noticed Shannon glaring at her daughter in the mirror occasionally, when the pair of them fought it really went off, they were so alike that their arguments were spectacular. They would usually end with one of them crying and saying sorry then a tub of ice cream would be pulled out of the freezer and Josh would just watch on in amazement as they could go from being so angry to so calm in just the space of a few minutes, he would never, ever understand women as long as he lived.

When they pulled up onto the drive, Caitlin was the first to jump out of the car followed by Shannon. He could tell that there was going to be an epic battle of wills between his two girls and he was likely to get caught in the crossfire.

'Don't you even think about going to your room, we need to talk about what happened today young lady and you need to apologise to your dad!' Shannon snapped as she fumbled with the front door key.

'I'm not apologising to him! If he wasn't on that dumb TV show none of this would have happened in the first place!' Caitlin yelled back at her mother who could feel herself getting red in the face as Caitlin dug her heels in.

As soon as she opened the front door Caitlin stormed through it, throwing her bag and her jacket on the floor by the stairs as she made her way into the lounge.

'What on earth are you talking about Caitlin? How the hell is dad's TV show responsible for YOUR actions?' Shannon asked as she walked into the lounge and stood in front of her daughter who was sat with her arms crossed on the couch.

'SHE said that she watched it and she started making fun of HIM! Calling him dumb and stupid, then she said that I must be dumb too if my dad was JUST a fisherman! If it wasn't for that stupid show she wouldn't know what he did would she? I get older girls coming up to me in the halls telling me my dad is hot, do you seriously know how lame that is? His stupid life is ruining mine!'

'His stupid life is putting food on the table and clothes on your back Caitlin! How dare you be so ungrateful for what he does for us! I didn't bring you up to be a spoiled brat and you sure as hell sound like one right now! Just because she said those things that doesn't give you the right to hit her Caitlin! You know better than that,' Shannon was all but tearing her hair out, Caitlin was such a stubborn madam and Josh, well Josh was just standing at the doorway not saying anything at all!

'What so you don't get pissed when some bimbo comes up to dad asking for a picture?' Caitlin shot back.

'It comes with the territory, I know that it can be hard sometimes but we have to deal with it! You can't keep blaming your dad for the attention he gets, it's not his fault!' Shannon looked at Josh, she was trying to get him to speak up but he just seemed scared to say anything at all.

'Why can't HE defend himself then huh?' Caitlin turned to look at Josh who was now looking down at the ground.

'Caitlin Andrews, you are really, really pushing me….'

'Do you know how hurtful this is for me Caitlin?' Shannon shut up as soon as she heard Josh's quiet voice speak, he sounded like a wounded animal. 'I work so I can provide you with everything that you want and need, you think I wanna be away from you all the time? You think I want women coming up to me asking for photos and autographs when I'm out with you? I don't Caitlin but what can I do? If you hate me as much as I think you do…'

'I don't hate you dad, I don't,' Caitlin's voice softened and she shook her head. 'It's just so hard for me right now and I say stupid, nasty things, I say them to mom too. I just want us to be normal, I want us to go out and not have people bugging us all the time, you're so busy with fishing, with meeting fans of the show that you don't even care about what I do…'

'Caitlin honey of course I care!' Josh moved into the room to take a seat next to Caitlin on the couch as Shannon remained standing but silent, they needed to have this conversation without any interruptions. 'I just, I'm just still new to doing this whole 'dad' thing you know? I don't always get stuff right, I know that but I am trying my best, maybe I am trying to be your friend rather than your father but that's because I want you to like me, I want you to love me, I'd be devastated if you didn't.'

'I do love you dad, I just wish that we could spend more time together, I wish that you weren't away so much,' Josh's heart almost broke when he saw the sad look on her face, if he could stay at home all the time then he would but fishing was all he knew, he didn't have good qualifications or knowledge in any other field and with the recession hitting so hard, how the fuck would someone like him find a job?

'You know that I hate being away from you sweetie, every time I get a break on the boat I have a photo of you and your mom that I look at all the time, it's the thought of coming home to my girls that gets me through the season. I want you to have the best Caitlin, I want to earn enough money to see you through college, to buy you your first car, to pay for your wedding when you're fifty…'

'Fifty?' Caitlin raised her eyebrows.

'Well that's my first Dad Rule, you can't date until you're forty five, you wanted me to be tough,' Josh smirked as Caitlin picked up a cushion and hit him with it.

'Dad that's so not cool! You and mom were dating when you were fifteen so technically, I should be allowed to do the same! And if I wanted, I could have a baby when I'm sixteen…' Caitlin grinned mischievously.

'No babies until you're sixty, Dad Rule number two.'

'Yeah, I'm too young to be a grandma in three years time!' Shannon spoke up for the first time since Josh and Caitlin started talking.

'Not to mention too hot,' Josh winked as Caitlin's nose wrinkled up in disgust.

'Ewwww! You're both disgusting!' Caitlin grimaced as Josh and Shannon started to laugh.

'Dad Rule number three, no calling us disgusting and Dad Rule number four, you're grounded for a week,' Josh said seriously after his laughter had stopped.

'I'm grounded for calling you guys disgusting?' Caitlin replied and Josh shook his head.

'No, you're grounded for hitting that girl, no matter what she said you shouldn't have reacted like that, you know better Caitlin. If you have problems with anyone in school making comments you either go to your teachers or tell us about it, you do something like this again and you'll be in even bigger trouble, you got that?' Josh looked Caitlin in the eyes as she spoke and she nodded. 'Plus if you're grounded, you and I can spend some more time together, starting tonight when your mom goes to class.'

'Oh um, I called my Professor earlier…' Shannon started to speak but Josh interrupted.

'I know you did, I heard you on the phone and I'm telling you to go to class, skipping class is setting your daughter a bad example, isn't that right Caitlin?' Caitlin nodded in agreement.

'Yeah mom, a REALLY bad example,' Shannon held her hands up in defeat and got up from her chair.

'Well if I'm going to class I need to finish off some work, I'll be upstairs so don't disturb me and don't get into any trouble!' Shannon smirked before she leaned down to plant a kiss on Caitlin's forehead and a kiss on Josh's lips.

As soon as Shannon left the room, Josh whispered to Caitlin.

'I have something really exciting in mind for tonight,' he smirked.

'What are we gonna do?' Caitlin smiled.

'You're going to wash my car and then I am gonna show you how to change the oil, pretty cool huh?' Josh smirked as Caitlin rolled her eyes.

'Dad that's not exciting!'

'It's not meant to be exciting! You're grounded, remember? But we'll be spending time together,' Josh replied and Caitlin did break out into a little smile.

'I'd better get changed into some old clothes if I'm washing your car, I don't wanna get these dirty,' Caitlin got up from the couch and left the room to head upstairs to her room.

Josh was happy that they'd had the chance to get things out in the open, he wanted to be home a lot more but with fishing and the events that Discovery had him go to he was missing out on so much. When he came back from Opie's he'd only have a few weeks at home before he had to go to some event out in Florida, then a week after he was back his first Saturday would be taken up with the CatchCon event that was held every year. When he was single he loved travelling around, going to different bars and seeing different sights but now, he just wanted to stay at home and be with his two girls. The only way his life would change was if he found another career and he was beginning to think that he needed to do just that.


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry, once again this chapter took longer than planned to write! It is very long, I hope that doesn't put any of you off. Thanks for the reviews for the previous chapter, I will try to be a bit quicker updating this time I promise!**

*******Warning***** Pretty heavy smut alert for the beginning of this update so look away now if smut is not your thing!  
**

Chapter Five

Josh had been awake for the past hour, he was dead tired but recently he was finding it difficult to sleep. Jake was on his mind pretty much every minute of the day, every phone call, every email, every text message that he received he was expecting it to be bad news about his little brother and he was struggling to cope. He was trying to do as much with Caitlin and Shannon as possible to take his mind off things but his brother was always in his thoughts, when he closed his eyes and did manage to get some sleep he was woken by bad dreams of Jake, he was being haunted by what was going on and the only thing that could stop it was Jake getting the help he so badly needed.

As Jake's gaunt face entered his head yet again he looked down at the sleeping beauty in his arms, she was blissfully unaware of the mental torture that he was going through, he was trying really hard to keep it from her because he just wanted everything to be happy and perfect. Since talking about getting married a week ago, Caitlin had made it her pet project to find them a venue. His dad was coming back home later on today and when he was back, that would give them time to go looking at places that Caitlin had picked out for them to visit. By the end of the week he was hoping that they would have a date set for their wedding, that would give him something else to think about and something to look forward to. Until then, he was trying to seek his own comfort in any way that he could and right now, he needed just one thing.

Shannon's head was sleeping against his bare chest, as gently as he could he began to turn her over so she was lying on her back, she stirred a little but didn't wake up. He lightly trailed his fingertips over her naked body, it was nice but he wanted more, so much more.

He positioned himself between her legs which he opened slowly, he knew that as soon as his tongue made contact with her pussy she would wake up but he needed her to wake up. Not wanting to waste another second he allowed his stiff tongue to run over her pink pussy.

Shannon had been lost in her dreams when she felt the blissful sensation of his tongue working on her pussy. Since they'd got back together their sex life had been amazing and recently Josh's sex drive had increased to an incredible pace, sometimes they'd make love three or four times until she had to tell him to stop because she needed to rest. Now he was waking her up to make love again but she wasn't annoyed at all, how could she be annoyed when he was able to satisfy her with such ease?

'Morning baby,' Josh briefly took his mouth away from her mound to glance up at her as her beautiful blue eyes opened.

Shannon responded by putting her hands on his head and pushing his mouth back down into her slick pussy. If he was gonna wake her up at five in the morning then he was definitely going to finish the job with his mouth before he got inside her.

The way his mouth and tongue worshiped her pussy was such a turn on for her, she'd heard from so many female friends that their men didn't seem to want to eat them out or if they did they had no clue what they were doing. Josh was totally into it and he definitely knew the spots to hit to drive her wild, his mouth was ferocious, everything about him was ferocious, he made her feel like she was the most beautiful woman in the world.

'Oh Josh, oh God, lick my pussy, make me cum,' Josh's dick started to strain against the mattress as he savoured her sweet juices on his tongue. He loved how quickly he could make her lose control, her moans and groans were music to his ears as he hungrily lapped up the juices that were running like a spring into his welcoming mouth.

He lavished attention on her clit which he could feel throbbing against his thick lips, he knew that she was close and his aching cock was getting desperate to enter her warm, tight channel. With his mouth focused on her clit, he quickly slid two of his long fingers inside her, she gasped and thrust down as she felt his probing fingers wiggle around inside her.

'Holy shit yes!' Shannon was trying to be as quiet as possible but that was pretty fucking difficult when Josh was blowing her mind and body with his moves.

His fingers delved deeper and deeper into her core until he found the spot that he was looking for, when he hit it he began to move his long fingers in circles against her G-Spot until she was thrashing around on the bed.

'Yes, yes, yes!' The combination of his mouth and fingers working on her quickly made her explode, her head spun as she lost her breathe.

Josh savoured the moment, watching with a mixture of fascination and pride as Shannon enjoyed her orgasm, the orgasm that he had managed to give to her. When she began to calm down a little he got on his knees and pulled her sweat soaked body down towards his length which was desperate to be inside her.

Shannon locked eyes with him, she knew what he wanted and he could take it, she was putty in his skilful hands now and he knew it. She wrapped her legs around his waist and with as much force as she could muster up she pulled his body towards her in an attempt to encourage him to enter her.

'Oh you want more huh?' Josh smirked, as horny as he was he liked playing games with her, except this time Shannon was determined to be the victor of this particular game.

Drawing on superhuman strength she managed to use her legs to tip him over onto his side, Josh was surprised by the move, he was expecting her to allow him to take control but he should have known better. He watched with glazed over eyes as his gorgeous woman sat on top of him.

'Question is, do YOU want more?' Shannon grinned as she pushed his legs apart and allowed her soaking wet pussy to run over his rock hard cock. Feeling her wetness on his shaft drove him fucking crazy and she knew it did.

Watching his face contort in a mixture of pleasure and desperation and his knuckles turning white as he grasped the pillows just turned her on even more, she thought about dragging the moment out and teasing him a little more but she couldn't wait, she had to have him.

She spun around on the bed so her back was facing him, they hadn't done it like this in a while and she felt like a change. She rose up a little on her knees and grasped his thick cock in one of her hands as she slowly lowered herself onto his pole.

'Oh fuck yeah!' Josh couldn't help but gasp out as her warm pink folds enveloped his throbbing length.

They'd made love so many times but each time he pushed himself inside her he felt something different, he would never be able to get enough of her and even though he was going through a lot of shit with Jake right now he thanked his lucky fucking stars every day that he had her back.

'Oh Josh baby,' Shannon whined under her breathe as Josh's hands ran up and down her stomach, as she bounced around on his cock she let her hands run down to his and move them up to cup her bouncing breasts.

Josh took the hint and began to let his long fingers tickle and tease her erect nipples. He watched intently as Shannon leaned forward and gripped the end of the bed for support as she really began to work hard on his dick. They hadn't done the reverse cowgirl position for a while and as good as it felt, Josh wanted to see her face when he crossed the line, he needed to look into the blue eyes that he loved so much.

She let out a squeak of surprise when she felt him pull her back so she was lying flat on top of him, she felt his warm breathe against her ear and his prickly beard scratch against her cheek as he leaned in to whisper 'I wanna look at you, turn around.'

Shannon couldn't help but smile at his request as she turned her head to press her lips against his rough cheek.

'You are just a soppy romantic at heart aren't ya?' Shannon smiled as Josh continued to stare at her, something in his eyes made her stomach drop a little, there was a darkness there, a sadness which she could clearly see. She didn't call him on it there and then, mid coitus was hardly the time to start a deep and meaningful conversation, instead she obeyed Josh's instruction and turned around to lie on top of him.

She'd gone hard and fast but seeing the look on his face she decided that slow and steady was the right pace, she wanted to savour the feeling of him inside her, she wanted to take her time and show him using her body just how much she loved him. He gasped again as she slowly slid down his length, he expected her to sit up and start increasing the pace right away but she didn't, she lay flat on top of him and let her hands caress his face as she slowly ground down on his length.

His hands ran over hers as she touched his face and he sat up a little to press his lips against hers, they groaned and moaned into each other's mouths as they made love, they always tried to be as quiet as possible so as not to disturb Caitlin and kissing usually ensured that the majority of their noises were kept to a minimum.

Josh bent his knees and used his feet to push up into Shannon's core as she gently rode him, his slow thrusts into her started to send waves of pleasure shooting all over her body and she knew that she wouldn't last much longer, judging by the noises that Josh was making he wouldn't either.

When she began to feel her body tightening up in preparation for her climax she pulled her mouth away from his and pressed her forehead against his so she could look into his eyes as she fell apart around him.

'Cum with me Joshua, come on my darling, cum for me,' she whispered as his eyes bore into hers.

He ran his hands up to her face and caressed her flushed cheeks as he felt her channel tighten around him before a rush of fluid hit the tip of his cock, the palpitations and the little choked cries of pleasure coming from her pushed him over the edge, quietly repeating her name again and again he exploded inside her and pulled her body as close as he could to his own, wrapping his long arms around her waist he held onto her like she was going to disappear before his very eyes if he didn't keep her close.

Shannon buried her face into his neck and planted light kisses on his soft flesh as Josh's hands held onto her, she should have sat him down and talked to him about what he was going through days ago, now she knew that his problems and fears needed to be confronted before he made himself really sick with worry. After a few minutes of silence and rest she pulled her head away from his neck and looked up at him.

'Talk to me,' her hands ran up to his face again, she couldn't stop touching him in her own mind if she touched him maybe her hands could take away some of his pain, like they had healing powers or something.

'You want a play by play or something? I mean I think my performance was outstanding….'

'Making little jokes to try and change the subject isn't going to work Joshua, I know you too well and I know that you're not doing good,' Shannon shook her head as Josh looked away from her.

She rolled off his body and lay down next to him so she could look at him.

'You don't have to put this show on for our benefit Josh, I know that Jake is playing on your mind and I know that you're scared about what's going to happen to him, he's your baby brother, it's only natural that you're going to worry about him,' Shannon said quietly as Josh tried to hold himself together. He should have known that he wouldn't be able to fool her, she knew him far too well to be convinced by his act.

'What am I supposed to do Shannon? Stay in bed all day and cry? I can't do that, I won't do that. I just…. I just need you, I need Caitlin, I have to try and concentrate on both of you because if I don't, I'm just gonna sink deeper and deeper into this fucking black hole,' Josh sighed heavily, even though he found his feelings hard to talk about it was a relief to actually speak openly about just how difficult things had been for him lately.

'I don't want you to get mad or laugh at me when I say this but maybe you should think about going to talk to someone….'

'Paying some fucking shrink? I'm not crazy Shannon and I'm not wasting my money on that crap!' Josh snapped, a fucking therapist? Seriously?

'It's not crap Josh! When Caitlin was first diagnosed with cancer I went to a therapist and it really, really helped me to deal with things. I'm not saying that you should sign up for twenty sessions or something like that, why don't you just try it Josh? I don't want you to suffer, I don't want you to keep beating yourself up about his addiction when it's not your fault, I'm just worried about you, that's all,' Shannon wrapped her arms around his neck and stared into his eyes, she wished that she could do more but what he really needed right now was for Jake to turn up on the doorstep asking for help, somehow she didn't think that would happen anytime soon.

'Look, the only therapy that I need right now I can get from you, free of charge,' Josh decided that it was time to stop talking, he was wide awake now and since Shannon was too it just made sense to take advantage of the time they had alone.

As soon as she felt Josh's hands beginning to wander down to her ass she immediately pulled them away, if he was going to be stubborn then she was going to be stubborn too.

'Oh is this what I'm gonna get now huh? No sex until I see a therapist?' Josh asked as Shannon turned over to face away from him.

'Yep so you'd better get reacquainted with your right hand again seeing as that's gonna be your new lover for a while,' Shannon yawned, she predicted that it would be two minutes until he backed down, there was no way that he could go for even one night without having sex.

'The problem is,' Josh pressed his body against hers so she could feel his semi-hard cock press against her back 'you can't resist me.'

Shannon shook her head and turned so she could face him once again.

'Oh I can resist you Joshua, you're forgetting that I have my own Mini J filled with batteries and ready to go, the nice thing about him is that he doesn't talk back and he doesn't fart in his sleep either,' she smirked before turning back over once again.

Josh groaned inwardly and lay flat on his back looking up at the white ceiling, Shannon was the most stubborn person that he had ever known in his life and he knew that she wouldn't back down. Maybe she was right, maybe talking to a complete stranger who knew nothing about him would help, it wouldn't hurt too much to try for just an hour would it?

Shannon closed her eyes and counted the seconds off in her head as Josh remained silent, when she heard a long sigh she knew that the battle was won and she waited for him to back down.

'Alright I'll go BUT for an hour and if it's a load of shit I am not going again, deal?' Josh gave in and Shannon immediately turned back around and planted a gentle kiss on his lips.

'Praise Jesus for my tight vagina, it can make you do anything,' she smirked as Josh ran one of his hands through her long hair.

'I love you so much, I don't know what I'd do without you, you know that right?' Shannon nodded and wrapped her arms around his warm body.

'Everything will come good Josh, I know it's hard right now but it will get better. You've got me and you've got Caitlin, we'll be here for you no matter what happens. You just have to promise me that you won't keep bottling stuff up all the time, you can talk to me about anything, I want to help you baby so you have to let me in so I can try to help you,' Josh smiled as Shannon stared at him intently, he was so lucky to have her, how another man hadn't snapped her up in all the years they'd been apart he'd never know.

He pulled her head towards him and started to kiss her pink lips, he had wanted to make love again but he could see by her red eyes that she needed to get another few hours' sleep before they went to pick Phil up from the airport.

When he pulled his lips away from hers he started to stroke her face and coaxed her to rest against his chest again which she did without putting up a fight. Within a few minutes she was fast asleep again and as he watched her he felt his own eyes beginning to close as he gave in to the tiredness that had sprung up on him.

**A Few Hours Later**

'Grandpa!' Caitlin was the first to spot Phil as they stood waiting in the airport arrivals area for him to arrive.

He'd been in Homer, Alaska with John Hillstrand for the past week and if his phone calls were anything to go by, he'd had a pretty wild time.

'It's so good to see ya sweetheart! I hope you've been a good girl while I've been away,' Shannon and Josh glanced at each other, they hadn't told Phil about Caitlin's suspension or what had happened to Jake. They wanted him to just have a good time in Homer, if they'd told him about Jake he would have been on the first flight home.

'Didn't dad tell you what happened in school?' Caitlin replied to Phil's question and Josh immediately stepped in, the airport wasn't the place to talk about this, he could already spot several pairs of eyes upon them and he just wanted to leave as soon as possible.

'Uh let's not talk about this here, we'll tell grandpa everything when we get home okay?' Josh said as Phil eyed him up suspiciously.

'He doesn't know about Uncle Jake either?' Caitlin said and Josh closed his eyes and sighed heavily, he wasn't even sure if he was going to tell his dad about Jake yet but now the decision had been made for him.

'What about Jake?' Phil got to his feet and Shannon could hear the panic and fear in his voice.

'I don't wanna do this here dad, let's get to the car where we won't be overheard,' Josh started to walk out of the crowded airport and Phil followed, if something had happened to Jake while he was gone why the fuck hadn't they called him?

'Sorry mom, I thought granddad knew everything,' Caitlin said as Shannon walked alongside her as they made their way out of the airport. She let Josh and Phil go on ahead, she didn't want Caitlin to be in the car when he broke the news, knowing Phil he would completely lose it and demand to see Jake right away.

When they got outside the airport, Shannon grabbed Caitlin's arm and forced her to come to a stop when she saw Phil start to talk to Josh.

'Why are we stopping?' Caitlin asked as Shannon kept her eyes on Josh and Phil.

'Because they need to talk, alone,' Shannon replied.

'I want to know what's going on and I want to know right now Joshua so you'd better start fucking talking before I ask Caitlin to tell me the truth,' Phil snapped.

Josh didn't really want to do this here but he didn't have much choice, his dad was angry and he wanted answers, if Josh didn't give them to him he would only start asking the same questions to Shannon and Caitlin and it was his responsibility to tell him what had gone on, not theirs.

'While you were gone, Jake was taken to hospital, he overdosed….'

'What? Is he okay?' Phil interrupted and Josh shook his head.

'He's not in hospital now, he left as soon as he got treated, he went home and went straight back to his fucking drink and drug stash,' Josh sighed heavily, the pain that he felt about his brother's situation was evident in his voice.

'Why didn't you fucking call me and tell me what the fuck was going on? I'm his father! I should have been here!'

'And what could you have done huh dad? He won't listen to any of us! I just wanted you to have a break, you've been under so much fucking stress lately that I thought it best to just deal with things myself. I really thought I could get him to rehab dad but he doesn't care, he just doesn't give a fucking shit,' he stood back and waited for his dad to scold him, to get angry with him for not calling him and telling him what was going on but he didn't get angry, he didn't yell or shout, he just stepped forward and put one of his warm hands on his shoulder.

'You shouldn't have dealt with that on your own son, you need a break from all this just as much as I do,' he was shocked that his father was so fucking calm and sympathetic, he would usually get so fucking riled up about Jake that he was pretty difficult to control but he was speaking almost as if he was completely defeated and that scared Josh a lot.

'Why are you so fucking calm about this? You did hear me right didn't you?' Josh questioned Phil who just held his gaze.

'What am I supposed to do Josh? We've done everything that we can, the rest is down to Jake now, there's nothing more that we can say or do, you know that as well as I do,' Phil replied.

'So what you're saying is we do absolutely nothing? We give up on him and forget about him? You might be able to do that but I fucking can't!' Shannon could see that Josh was getting worked up, very worked up and she was surprised, she expected things to be the other way around but Phil was actually the calm one by the looks of it.

The more Josh spoke the more angry he became, his arms flailed around in the air and his face was getting redder by the second, before anything bad could happen Shannon knew that she had to step in to calm the situation down.

'Stay here honey,' Shannon instructed Caitlin before she made her way towards Phil and Josh.

'You can't be fucking serious about this!'

'Josh, you need to calm the fuck down and quit yelling at me, Caitlin is fucking watching all this do you wanna frighten her again?' Phil attempted to stop Josh from losing control but he could see that his son was angry, Josh had a tendency to bottle things up and let everything out in one go and that's exactly what he was doing right now, he'd done it even as a child.

'Stop trying to change the fucking subject! He overdosed dad! He was lucky this time but what happens when his luck runs out huh? Because you know that it will! We have to help him! We have to DO something!' Josh was going to continue letting everything out of his system when he felt her hand grab his, he turned to see Shannon shaking her head at him.

'Not here Josh, not in front of Caitlin, we need to go home,' Shannon said quietly, she felt a whole mixture of emotions when she looked at him, she was scared that he was pushing himself too hard, that he was blaming himself for Jake's situation, she loved him so much and it hurt every part of her to see him like this.

'She's right, I'll come back to your place and stay the night, when Caitlin's in bed we can talk more then,' Phil replied as Josh started to cool down.

He'd felt such a huge rush of different emotions overtaking him as soon as he'd heard his dad say that there was nothing they could do for Jake. He'd forgotten all about Caitlin standing nearby and watching them, how could he forget about his daughter so easily? How could he lose control of himself like that in front of her?

'Caitlin honey come over here, we're heading home!' Shannon signalled for her to join them and she did but she remained very quiet.

Shannon just didn't know what to do for the best, Caitlin was going through a rough time trying to deal with growing up and learning to cope with her father's fame and Josh was finding it hard to cope with what was going on with Jake, she had to keep an eye on both of them and she was the one that had to remain strong but it was difficult to see the two people that she loved more than life itself going through such a difficult time.

She just had to hope that soon, things would start to get better for all of them, at the moment they couldn't really get much worse.

**Later That Evening**

'Well I'm gonna head to bed, I'm exhausted!' Shannon yawned as she started to get up from the couch and untangle herself from Josh's arms.

'I'll wake you when I come up baby,' Josh winked before Shannon planted a soft kiss on his lips.

'Uh, hello? I am still fucking here ya know!' Phil waved at Josh who just rolled his eyes.

'I know you're still here Phil!' Shannon smiled as she went over to give him a hug and a kiss goodnight. 'We'll keep the noise down, I promise,' she whispered to him.

'You're both fucking disgusting, it's no wonder you're so happy together,' Phil shook his head before taking another sip of beer.

Shannon just smirked at both men before leaving the room, she was tired but her main reason for going to bed so early was to give them time to talk alone. She just hoped that speaking to his dad would help Josh to come to terms with everything that had gone on recently.

'I still can't believe that Caitlin slapped someone, she's too cute to be doing things like that,' Phil shook his head, hearing that his granddaughter had been suspended from school had shocked him, he never thought that she would get into any trouble, she was a good girl.

'Cuteness can be deceiving, she's always well behaved for you, you should see her when she has a fucking temper tantrum, man she fucking loses it completely,' Josh replied.

'Well if you think bringing up a girl is hard, try having a fucking boy. Speaking of kids are you two, you know,' Phil asked in his not so subtle way.

'No not yet, Shannon wants to finish college first and I want us to get married before we have another kid, it's fun practicing though,' Josh smirked, with the amount of practice they'd been doing when the time came for them to have another child it should be a fucking breeze.

'Fatherhood, it suits you, it's made you grow the fuck up anyway and for a while I didn't think you would,' Phil said, Josh didn't know whether to be insulted or not.

'It's not me you have to worry about now, I've got a nice home, a beautiful fiancé, a beautiful daughter, I have everything I want. Jake on the other hand….'

'You don't think that this shit is hard for me Joshua? Just imagine for one second that Caitlin was an addict and you were watching her tear herself apart day after fucking day, you wanna help her, you want her to get better but no matter what you fucking say or do she doesn't listen to you because she thinks she's fine. Picture that Josh because that's what I'm going through right now okay,' Phil snapped, he wanted to remain calm but found it difficult to do so whenever Jake's name was mentioned. The truth was he felt like a complete fucking failure because he couldn't do anything for his youngest son, he'd tried everything that he could think of to get Jake to see sense but nothing worked and now he had run out of options, what else could he do?

'Dad I know how difficult this is for you, do you think it's fucking easy for me to sit back and watch him do this shit to himself? I almost fucking dragged him to rehab last week, I completely fucking lost it with him and that didn't work, I think I just made things worse,' Josh placed his head in his hands, he felt so fucking guilty about how he'd reacted last week to Jake's overdose, what if he had just made things a million times worse?

'Things can't really get that much worse where Jake's concerned but I don't wanna see you beating yourself up about this or making yourself sick with worry, the last thing I need right now is for something bad to happen to you. So, we stick together, we get through this shit together, as a family. Jake will work things out in his own time,' Josh took his head out of his hands and looked at his father again.

'How can you be so sure that things will work out dad? A few months ago I thought the same thing but now….You didn't see what he was like last week,' Josh replied.

'Because if I give up on him then what do I have left Josh? He's still my fucking son, I still love him, I still have faith in him. I know it's hard, it's really fucking hard right now but we can do this.'

Josh wanted to believe his father but deep down he just couldn't believe that things were going to get any better any time soon but how could he sit here and argue with his dad? If having that belief in Jake helped him then he wasn't going to take that away from him, he'd just have to find his own way of coping with things, he had no other choice.

'I um, I think I'm gonna head to bed too, I haven't had too much sleep lately and I'm worn the fuck out, it's nice to have you home dad,' Josh got up from the couch and went over to hug his father who remained seated in his chair.

'I'm gonna stay up for a bit, there's a Meerkat Manor marathon on tonight,' Josh couldn't help but smirk as his father grabbed the remote from the coffee table and changed channels. He looked like a big, scary tough guy but he wasn't, not at all, how many tough guys coo like a woman over a new born baby watching Meerkat Manor?

'Meerkat Manor? The good stuff comes on just after midnight dad,' Josh laughed as Phil wrinkled up his nose.

He said a final goodnight to his dad before leaving the room and heading up to bed. He knew that seeking comfort in the form of physical contact wasn't going to be enough to sort his head out but for now it was all he had. When he entered the bedroom he was surprised to find Shannon still awake and sitting up.

'Well Mr Harris, I've been waiting for you…..'

She was shocked that he had turned up so soon, she'd expected to be in for a long wait while he talked to his dad, she wanted to ask him how it went but right now she just had one thing on her mind.

'Oh yeah? I wonder what you've been waiting for,' Josh closed the door behind him and licked his lips as he watched her push down the covers.

When her body was revealed to him his erection threatened to burst through his jeans. She was wearing a turquoise coloured Babydoll which revealed her full breasts, her hair was pinned up, he loved it when she pinned up her hair, he wanted to see her face, he needed to see it, all of it.

'Wow, you look, you look stunning,' he was almost lost for words as he took in the vision of beauty in front of him.

'I love you Joshua, so much,' Shannon whispered as she walked towards him and pressed her soft lips against the tip of one of his sensitive ears.

Wrapping his long arms around her waist he easily picked her up off the ground and carried her over to the bed. It was going to be a very long night.


	6. Chapter 6

**Thanks for being so patient and for all the reviews! I am so sorry for the delay but here it is at last, it's been hard to concentrate on writing but I got there in the end! Please R and R but only if you want to, don't feel forced or coerced in anyway :) Thanks xx**

Chapter Six

'Well, that place was….Interesting,' Josh remarked as he and Shannon got into his car.

'Interesting? Julia was only interested in one thing and that was you! Did you see the evil look she fucking gave me when I told her we were getting married and not planning a fucking party?' Shannon snapped, most fans were cool people but occasionally someone like Julia came along and just wound her up so fucking much.

Josh was HER fiancé and people just had to fucking accept that and move on, not glare at her and act all fucking jealous because they wouldn't get to spend the night with one of their fucking TV crushes.

'Hey come on now, this was just the first place on the list, we still have five other's to take a look at, I'm sure we'll find what we're looking for and not run into another fucking bitch like her,' Josh replied as he tried his best to calm her down.

This was meant to be a good day, they were checking out venues for their wedding at long last but already the day had been spoiled by some fucking fan that only wanted to talk about the show and not the wedding that they wanted to try and plan.

'Maybe we should just have the wedding at home? The back yard is big enough and it would look pretty nice if it was decorated, I don't know if I can handle a big wedding Josh,' she shook her head, the sad thing was that nearly all the guests at the wedding would be Josh's friends and colleagues, apart from inviting a few people from her class and Louise she didn't have anyone else to invite.

'It doesn't have to be a big wedding Shannon, I know that Caitlin wants it to be this huge fairytale wedding but this is YOUR day, if you only wanna invite ten people then that's what we'll do, I just want you to be happy,' he placed his hand in hers and just stared into her eyes, this was supposed to be a happy day but she just looked so fucking sad.

'I don't know, everything has just been so fucking crazy lately that I just put all this planning to the back of my mind and now that we're actually looking at places I've realised just how few friends I have, it's gonna look pretty fucking pathetic at the wedding when your side of the room is filled with people and my side is completely fucking empty,' she sighed, she knew that she should be happy that she was going to marry her High School Sweetheart at last but it made her sad to think that she would have no family members at the wedding and very few friends, in fact her only friend was Louise, her classmates were just people that she studied with and spoke to once or twice a week.

'Look, we don't have to have a big wedding, if you wanted to we could just go to Vegas and take dad and Caitlin with us, I know Caitlin wouldn't be too thrilled about it but it's not her decision to make, I don't want you to be sad on our wedding day, I want you to be happy,' he was beginning to realise just how much she had sacrificed to bring up their little girl.

She'd quit High School, given up on her dreams of becoming a doctor and she'd had virtually no social life at all which meant that she had very few friends.

'No it's okay, I'm just sounding like a total fucking drama queen aren't I? I want your friends to be there and support you, we don't have to have sides for the bride and groom, everyone can just sit wherever they fucking want can't they?' She replied, this day wasn't just about her, it was about him and she knew that he wanted his friends there, as long as she walked down the aisle and became Mrs Harris that was all that she cared about.

'So do you still wanna check the rest of these places out?' Josh pulled Caitlin's list out of his pocket and looked at it, 'Ah, I think you might like this place, I picked it.'

'You picked it? I thought that Caitlin was the one in charge?' She raised an eyebrow as Josh handed her the list, he was going to leave the next place until last but seeing as she needed cheering up he thought he'd skip the other four places and go straight to the one which he thought that she would like the most.

'I didn't even know that this place was still going! You can still get married there?' He could hear the excitement in her voice and he pretty much knew there and then where they would be having their wedding, he'd known all along in all honesty.

'Yep, I might have asked Caitlin for a little look at the list last night and I kinda might have told her to add this place to it, she likes it so we have her approval,' he smirked, the smile that had appeared on her face told him that he'd made the right decision.

'So what are we waiting for? Let's go to Rosecrest!'

They were heading back to Monroe, the place that she'd met Josh, on her way to High School she'd pass Rosecrest every single day and she'd often tell Josh how beautiful she found the place. It wasn't particularly fancy, not compared to some of the other wedding venues in the area but to her it was perfect, she just hoped that it hadn't changed all that much.

Josh didn't need to be told twice, he quickly backed out of the parking space that he'd driven into and began to head back to Monroe. It was where they'd first met, where they'd fallen in love, his proposal happened on the boat they'd first made love on and now he was hoping that their marriage would take place in the town where they'd first met and where they had so many memories. As much as they tried not to look back too much on the past there were certain elements that he never wanted to forget, the sneaking into houses where she babysat to share a few stolen kisses, climbing into her bedroom after scaling a drainpipe, driving around town with her head resting against his shoulder, they were heading back to where their relationship had begun.

'I totally feel like a kid heading to a toy store right now, I can't fucking believe that I didn't even suggest this place to Caitlin! I thought it would be long gone by now,' she shook her head as Josh stared out at the road ahead.

'It closed for a while then some new owners came in and refurbished the place, they did a pretty good job too, I just hope you like it as much as you used to. You always used to go on about the place and you totally dropped hints about getting married there all the time,' he smirked.

'You're such a liar Joshua, I never talked about getting married! You would have run a fucking mile if I had, what sixteen year old boy wants to hear their girlfriend talk about weddings when they could be getting their dick sucked?' She replied in her ever so eloquent way.

'That's the perfect time to talk about marriage, what guy will refuse a chick a white wedding while she's giving him head?' Josh shrugged.

'Good point, why didn't I think of that back then?'

'Because you were too busy giving me head and enjoying it to think about marriage? Come on, I'm irresistible,' he winked as Shannon rolled her eyes.

'Jeez those fangirls really have stoked that ego of yours huh? I'm totally gonna have to teach you some humility Mr Harris,' she purred as she let one of her hands wander over to rest on his thigh.

'And how do you plan to do that?' Josh kept his eyes on the road but he could feel himself losing control as her hand began to run up and down his thigh.

'Hmm that would be telling now wouldn't it?' She removed her hand from his leg and settled back in her seat, she could see the huge bulge in his tight jeans and she was satisfied that she'd worked him into a frenzy, now he would just have to wait until later to get his release.

'You're really fucking cruel,' he whined as Shannon turned to stare out of the window.

She was beginning to recognise her surroundings, it had been a long time since she'd been here but things didn't seem to have changed that much. She'd driven on this road before, she drove a lot when she was younger, her car gave her the freedom to escape from her mother as and when she needed too. She'd spent many nights driving around the streets aimlessly after an argument with her mother, usually the arguments would be about Josh and how he was leading her astray, in a way she'd been right, he had knocked her up after all but that was as much her fault as it was his.

Josh slowed down a little the closer they got to Monroe to give Shannon a chance to take a look at some familiar sites. He hadn't been here for a while, when Shannon left town the place felt empty without her, as soon as he managed to get some money together he moved into a house with three of his friends downtown, since then he'd only been back a few times.

'Phinickey's is still open too? Jesus Christ remember that night we got totally wasted in there, it was Chris's birthday right?' Shannon recalled as they passed by the Sports Bar which had been a favourite for many kids with fake ID's back in the day.

'Yeah, all I can remember about that night is holding your hair back as you puked outside,' he grimaced as he recalled the not so pleasant memory of that night.

'It's been so long since I had a night out and really let my hair down, I kinda miss those days,' she sighed heavily.

'Well now that I'm back home, there's nothing stopping you and Louise going on a girls night out together, I'm sure I could manage looking after Caitlin and Katie for one night,' Josh offered.

'That's really sweet of you, I might take you up on that offer,' she looked away from the window and smiled at him as he briefly took his eyes off the road to glance at her.

As they got closer to Rosecrest they passed by quite a few familiar places, including their old High School, memories passed through his mind and he was sure that Shannon was reliving memories of her own as they came back to the place that they'd called their home for a number of years.

Finally, after what seemed like hours, he took a left and started his journey up the dirt path road which led to Rosecrest Farm, Shannon unbuckled her seatbelt and just stared straight ahead until the road opened up ahead and the farm and all its land came into view.

'It hasn't changed one bit, not one bit,' she shook her head, she couldn't believe that the place had remained the same after so many years had passed. The buildings had obviously had a lick of paint applied but the charm and beauty of the place was still the same.

'Just park here, we can walk the rest of the way,' she was eager to get out and take a look around but just as she said it, some guy started walking towards them waving his arms around.

'Uh oh, doesn't look like we're wanted here,' Josh said as he put the parking brake on and jumped out of the car to see what the guy was waving like a lunatic for.

'You're too early, wedding don't start till three,' the man walking towards him shouted.

'We're not here for the wedding sir, my fiancé and I wanna take a look around, I guess we came at a bad time,' Josh replied, he knew he should have called ahead first instead of just turning up out of the blue.

'Wait a minute, don't I know you? I'm sure I've seen you around somewhere before,' as the guy got closer to him a broad smile soon appeared on his face. 'Well Joshua Harris, I'll be damned,' the guy held out his hand and Josh shook it whilst trying to figure out who he was, he didn't think that he'd met the guy before so he figured that he must just be a fan of the show.

'You probably won't remember me, you were about this big when I last saw you, I watch your tv show every week though,' the man smiled as he held his arm out and took it down to his knee. 'I helped your dad out a few times, doing odd jobs around the house here and there, name's Bill.'

'I'm really sorry I don't remember you…'

'Oh don't worry! I left town before you were old enough to remember me, only came back a few years ago when my youngest and her husband decided to buy this place,' Bill turned and looked at the farm house with pride.

'It's a beautiful place and we'd really like to take a look around but I can see you're busy…'

'Well, as long as you don't make too much of a fuss or get in anybody's way, you can come take a look,' Bill smiled.

'Thanks so much, we won't be here for long, I'm pretty sure that this is the place for us,' Josh smiled back before he went to the car to tell Shannon that the coast was clear for them to take a quick tour.

'Did you just get yelled at?' Shannon asked as soon as Josh opened the car door.

'Nope, I turned on the Harris charm and everything's cool, we can take a look around as long as we don't get in anyone's way,' he replied as he held the door open for her to get out of the car.

Once out, Josh introduced Shannon to Bill and the three of them began to make their way towards the marquee which was set up behind the main farmhouse building.

There were plenty of people moving around and getting things ready for the ceremony this afternoon but even with so many people around, the place just had a charm to it and both of them knew they'd found the right place.

'It's so beautiful Josh,' she whispered into his ear as they followed Bill up to the marquee so they could take a look around.

'When we're done with the tour, I'll ask when the next available date is, I really wanna make you Mrs Harris Shannon,' he replied before planting a kiss on her forehead.

Her sadness and depressing mood had gone in the blink of an eye, as they followed Bill on a tour she began to get more and more excited. She could picture how she wanted the place to look, what colours she wanted, what she wanted her dress to look like, she'd waited for so long for this moment to happen, she thought she would always be alone but she wasn't alone anymore, she had Josh and she was going to be his wife.

'And this is the main farmhouse where the reception would be held, you can decorate it however you want, the place can hold up to three hundred people, we did a lot of work on this place, what do you think?' Bill asked as they came to a stop at the main farmhouse which was just phenomenal. The high ceilings and the tremendous amount of natural light just made the place glow.

'I love it, it's absolutely perfect,' Shannon replied as she looked at Josh to see his reaction.

'I agree, we've found the place,' he smiled back at her as her hand tightened in his. 'Can we talk about dates?'

'My daughter handles all that, let me see if I can drag her away from the caterers for a minute,' Bill replied before walking away to find his daughter.

'I bet this place has a huge waiting list,' she sighed, even if the place wasn't available until next year she would wait, she didn't want anywhere else, this was the place.

'Well maybe I can try and get us squeezed in somewhere, Bill's a fan of the show…'

'No Josh we are not using that as a reason to cut in front of people, we wait just like everyone else, you got that?' Shannon cut in, she knew that Josh wanted to get married as soon as possible but he would have to wait, just like normal people had to wait.

He was about to respond when out of the corner of his eye he saw Bill making his way back into the farmhouse with his daughter in tow.

'Josh, Shannon, this is my daughter Layla,' Bill introduced his daughter who was full of smiles for both of them, not a surprise considering that they were going to book her place for their wedding.

'Dad said you want to set a date for your wedding today?' She asked and Josh was the first to answer.

'How soon can you fit us in?'

'Well the nearest available date we have right now would be May 1st next year I'm afraid,' she replied.

'Any chance that some people might cancel and free up some earlier dates?' Josh asked.

'That does happen but we do have quite a few couples ahead of you in the list if that were to happen I'm afraid, I'm really sorry we don't have anything available sooner, if there was anything I could do….'

'Don't apologise, it's okay. We love the place and we'd love to set the date for May 1st,' Shannon gripped Josh's hand and smiled at him, she knew that he wanted something sooner but it wasn't going to happen so they would have to be patient and wait.

'Yeah, May 1st sounds good to me,' Josh forced himself to smile even though he was pretty miserable at the thought of waiting for so long. 'I've got cash on me, can I put a deposit down now so we definitely have that date?'

'We always ask for a deposit of two hundred and fifty dollars up front, come along with me to the house and I'll take your details down and give you a receipt,' Layla smiled before she started to lead them out of the barn.

They stayed at Rose Crest for a good twenty minutes or so talking to both Layla and Bill about the wedding, the show, their lives, Shannon took note of some names and numbers of cake makers, caterers and dress makers from Layla, she needed all the help that she could get to organise her big day. As much as she loved Caitlin their ideas of the perfect wedding were totally different, she would now have to step in and begin to direct Caitlin as to what she wanted. She was determined not to turn into a Bridezilla but the thought of planning a fairly big wedding did worry her and make her sweat just a little, she didn't want to make an ass of herself in front of all Josh's friends and family.

After talking for a while, Shannon and Josh said their goodbyes when a loud crash was heard coming from the barn, something had obviously happened and they weren't sticking around to see the fallout. When they got back into the car, Shannon grabbed Josh's hand and stared at him intently.

'I know you don't want to wait baby but think about it, you have something to look forward to, we both do. We can plan together, look at honeymoon locations, shop for sex toys…'

'Sex toys? Nuh uh, the only thing going inside you on our wedding night is me, I am banning all sex toys from the honeymoon too, that will be baby making time,' Josh smirked.

'Baby making time huh? Well, Caitlin has been talking a lot about having a little brother or sister to take care of, it would be nice to have someone holding my hand and taking care of me this time I must admit, the first time around it was pretty rough,' Shannon replied and Josh instinctively reached out and touched her face.

'I'll be there this time, I'll be the annoying dad who wants to know everything, who worries about every pain you have, who won't let you do anything just in case it harms the baby, I guess maybe waiting might be a good thing, it'll give me something good to think about when I'm out fishing for Opie's,' Josh managed to smile properly this time, okay he wanted to get married soon but that wasn't going to happen so he had to make the best of things so that's what he was going to do.

'Hmm well seeing as your dad has Caitlin for the day and we're done looking at wedding venues, we have a big old house to ourselves, I think maybe it would be good to get some baby making practice in, practice does make perfect right?' Shannon licked her lips as Josh shifted in his seat.

'I fucking love the way you think,' he smiled before putting his seat belt on, he wanted to get home and get down to business as soon as possible. The quicker they got home, the more time they'd have to 'practice', hopefully they'd be able to practice quite a bit before his dad brought Caitlin home for the night.

Later That Evening

'Josh stop! I've just put my clothes back on you can't take them off again, your dad will be here any minute now!' Shannon had to push Josh's hands away from her shirt as he attempted to lift it over her head whilst they sat on the couch watching some dumb movie.

'I just wanna have a quick feel of the girls before they get here, come on, don't be a spoilsport!' Josh whined as he attempted to get at her breasts again.

'Uh you've been feeling 'the girls' all afternoon mister, they need a rest or they'll fall off or shrivel up and don't start with the puppy dog eyes because you know that shit don't fly with me Joshua Grant,' she pushed his hands away from her again but she wasn't strong enough to stop him from pushing her down on the couch.

'Gotcha,' Josh whispered before he pressed his thick lips against hers, Shannon struggled to get out from under him but it was no use, he held her arms above her head and pulled his lips away from hers as he began to kiss a path down to her neck.

He was getting closer and closer to the girls when the doorbell began to ring.

'Told ya they'd be here any minute,' Shannon couldn't help but burst out laughing as Josh moaned against her skin.

'Just my fucking luck,' he climbed off of her and put his clothes straight before he went to answer the door.

As soon as he unlocked the door Caitlin walked into the house and started to ask questions.

'So what place did you choose? What date did you get? Is it soon? How much did it cost? How much…'

'Caitlin honey, why don't you take your coat off first then go into the lounge to see your mom?' Josh interrupted her before she could ask any more questions, teenage girls really could talk so fucking much.

In response to his comment, Caitlin quickly unzipped her jacket and threw it over the banister before she ran into the lounge and started to ask Shannon the same questions as Josh stood at the door waiting for his father to appear.

'Jesus that girl can talk! She should come fishing with us, she'd keep me awake in the wheelhouse for sure,' Phil grinned as Josh held the door open for him to walk into the house.

They both went into the lounge where Caitlin had taken a seat next to Shannon on the couch.

'So the wedding's gonna be May 1st next year? We have lots of time to plan then!' Josh smiled as he settled down next to his girls on the couch as Phil took a seat next to them in a chair.

'Yes we do and I'm gonna need a lot of help from you to organise things so I'm relying on you to be my Personal Wedding Assistant, you think you can do that?' Shannon smiled as Caitlin looked at her mischievously.

'That depends, how much money will I get for doing this, all my services so far have come free of charge but now, I think I need a little incentive to keep going, it's hard work!' Phil burst out laughing at his granddaughter's bold statement, she was definitely going to make something of herself when she got older, he had never met a more intelligent, witty, little girl in his entire life.

'Hmm we might be able to come to some sort of an arrangement I guess but I'm a tough negotiator missy,' Shannon tried to keep a straight face as she stared back at her stubborn daughter.

'Maybe we can get someone else to help us, Uncle Jake needs something to do,' as soon as his name fell from his daughter's lips he froze, what was he meant to say in response to that, what could any of them say?

'Jake isn't well right now sweetheart, he's not good to be around right now, when he get better…'

'When will he get better? You've all been saying the same thing for months but nothing seems to happen! I'm not stupid, I know you're hiding stuff from me and I'm not a baby, I'm old enough to know what's going on!' Caitlin interrupted Phil and dug her heels in like she could do so easily, Shannon glanced at Josh who was clearly struggling with his emotions and demons, anytime Jake's name was mentioned he clammed up and this time was no different.

'When you were in hospital, you were given lots of different drugs to make you feel better right?' Shannon knew that she had to take control, she knew her daughter better than anyone and it was time to tell her the truth about how serious Jake's problems were.

'Yeah, what does this have to do with Jake though?' Caitlin looked confused.

'Well there are drugs that can help people and then there are drugs that are really, really bad, the kind of drugs people take to get a buzz, when you were in hospital and the doctors gave you pain meds, remember you would say to me how it felt like you were floating at times?' Caitlin nodded, 'Well that's the kind of buzz I mean, drug addicts, they like that and Jake…Jake's got addicted to some bad drugs and he's sick Caitlin and he needs help but we can't force him to get that help, he has to do it himself, he has to understand that he's sick but he doesn't honey…'

'But if he's sick and he doesn't get help then he'll get worse, doesn't he wanna get better so he can come and see us?' Caitlin's eyes began to mist up and Shannon instinctively wrapped her arms around her little girl.

'This is all part of his illness baby, I know that it's hard for you to understand, it's hard for ANY of us to understand but we're all trying our best to help him and make him see sense, we want him back just as much as you do honey and hopefully one day, you'll be able to get to know your Uncle Jake because right now he's not in a good place baby, I promise you that we'll do everything we can to help him,' Shannon held onto Caitlin and could only watch as Josh left the room, Phil moved to get out of his chair to go after him but Shannon shook her head, he needed some time alone to let his emotions come out.

She knew if Phil followed him that he'd bottle everything up and pretend that he was okay and he wasn't, the wedding gave them such a huge, happy day to look forward to but it was so far away, Josh needed help NOW, help that she couldn't give him. She had to stop him from falling apart.


	7. Chapter 7

**Thanks so much for the reviews folks! Sorry that once again it's taken me a while to update this! Please keep your reviews coming in :)**

*************WARNING******** VERY heavy smut towards the end of chapter!**

Chapter Seven

'I can't believe that I agreed to this,' Josh sighed as Shannon pulled up outside the office of the therapist that she had booked for him to see.

'Look I know you're sceptical about this and I know that you don't think that it will do any good but believe me, this is worth it honey. She specialises in helping people who have someone close to them going through addiction problems, if anyone can help then it's her, trust me,' Shannon removed the keys from the ignition before she reached across and put her hand in his.

'I seriously hope I am getting therapy from you once I've done this,' he whined as a cheeky grin spread across her face, she had plans alright, not that he knew a thing about them, yet.

'You do this and believe me, you will have the time of your life later,' she winked before getting out of the car, she didn't want to ruin the surprise.

Josh jumped out a minute after Shannon, he'd heard her whispering on the phone early this morning whilst she was in the kitchen and he knew that she had something up her sleeve but he had no idea what she had in mind. He knew that she wouldn't tell him anything so to find out, he had to be a good boy and see this therapist at least once. He wasn't exactly looking forward to talking to some stranger about his problems, well not his problems, he didn't have any problems at all, the only fucking problem was Jake. HE was the one that needed this shit as far as he was concerned, he wasn't the drug addict living in the worst part of town and doing fuck knows what to find money for his drugs.

'Josh come on, there's nothing to be scared of,' Shannon stood at the doorway of Dr Lewis's office waiting as Josh lingered on the sidewalk.

Shannon's voice snapped him out of his temporary daze, he could bitch in his head about Jake needing this shit all day but that wouldn't do any good, she had made the appointment for him and now he had to seal his end of the deal to make her happy.

She smiled warmly as Josh walked towards her and took her hand in his, she was proud of him for doing this, she knew damn well that he really didn't want to be here but he was going through with it for her sake and because he didn't want to get blue balled for a month!

He felt like a lamb being lead to slaughter as she opened the door and walked into the small office, when they stepped inside he was relieved to see that no one other than the receptionist sat behind a small desk was in the building, the last thing that he needed to deal with right now was some fan asking all about the show and how his brother was doing.

'Hi my fiancés got an appointment with DR Lewis at two, the names Joshua Harris,' Shannon smiled as she walked up to the desk to give his name to the receptionist who greeted her with a smile.

'Take a seat please, she won't be long,' Josh had already taken a seat in the small waiting area so she followed suit and went to sit alongside him.

'This surprise better be good, I feel like poking my fucking eyes out right about now,' Josh whispered when she sat down next to him.

'What makes you think I have anything planned?' She replied.

'Because I heard you whispering on the phone this morning and you've been acting all mysterious for the past few days,' he replied as a small smirk passed across her face.

'Like I said just now, do this and I promise you that tonight will be amazing, I'll take good care of you,' she smiled as Josh's leg began to twitch and the tips of his elfish ears reddened.

'I hope to God she calls me in soon cause all I wanna do right now is go home and pound you into the fucking mattress….'

'Joshua Harris?' His eyes quickly tore themselves away from Shannon's lustful gaze when he heard his name being called. He was greeted with a warm smile by the middle aged, blonde haired woman standing outside her office door, this was his therapist and now there was no turning back.

'Josh, she won't bite, I'll be out here reading my book if you need me okay?' She was sounding more like a worried mom sending their kid to their first day at school but she was nervous, when she went to see a therapist for the very first time it had been a painful experience. She had talked about things she'd bottled up for so many years, she'd confronted demons that she'd kept hidden away in her core for so long and as much as she needed to get those demons out, it wasn't an easy experience to go through by any means.

He had no idea why he felt so fucking nervous about this, as far as he was concerned this whole fucking charade was a complete waste of money that could be far better spent on the wedding or spoiling Caitlin. An hour long session with this chick was costing over one hundred dollars and it was ridiculous but he had to go through with it, he had no intention of ever coming back though.

He took one last look at Shannon who smiled back at him before he got up and went to shake hands with this therapist person.

'Go right through Joshua,' after shaking hands the doc stood back and let him walk into the small room.

Two chairs, separated by a table which included a set of tissues, sat opposite each other. He decided to take a seat in the chair facing the door, he hadn't even started to talk yet but already he couldn't fucking wait to get out of the small, poky room.

'Okay, let me introduce myself properly now that we're alone,' the doc smiled as she shut the door behind her and took a seat opposite him. 'You can call me Sarah, I hate being called a Doctor, it's so formal and these sessions are NOT formal at all. You can talk to me about anything, from things in your past to how you want to pound your fiancé into the mattress,' Josh immediately felt his face flush, he hadn't realised that he'd said that so fucking loud.

'Sorry, I didn't mean for you to hear that,' he quickly apologised, he wasn't here to talk about his life with Shannon, they were fine, more than fine, if it wasn't for her he probably would have gone fucking insane by now.

'That's okay, I just want you to know that there's nothing off limits, therapy only works if you feel comfortable about opening up to the person you're talking to, if you don't feel comfortable with me then there won't be any point in continuing with the sessions. I know a lot of people think that therapy is a complete waste of time and money and it is if you're not willing to be honest and completely open, you're here for a reason,' he expected her to have a pen and paper in her hands for some reason, didn't therapists make notes during sessions? He thought that they did.

'If you really want me to be honest with you, I'm here because my fiancé, Shannon, won't have sex with me unless I do this, that's why I'm here, I'm not the one with the problem,' Josh decided to just come straight out with it, there was no point in lying and pretending that he was delighted to be here when he wasn't. If anyone needed this it was his brother, not him.

'So in your eyes, who is the one with the problem? Is it Shannon?' Sarah probed and he fiercely shook his head.

'No, Shannon means the world to me, so does my daughter, our daughter. I'm talking about my brother, Jake,' why the fuck was he letting all this come out of his mouth?

'Tell me about Jake,' she replied as Josh shifted in his seat, did he really want to go into detail about his brother's problems with a complete stranger that he'd known for fucking five minutes?

'Look, I don't mean to sound rude or anything but I'm not exactly sure that I should even be here, Shannon suggested that I do this, she's the only reason that I'm here and I don't plan to make this a regular thing,' he was upfront about how sceptical he was, as far as he was concerned this whole charade was just a complete waste of time but if he didn't do it Shannon would go fucking crazy.

'Well, Shannon obviously thinks that you need to talk, that there are problems that you need to deal with, is she wrong?' Another question fell from Sarah's lips and Josh sighed, part of him was frustrated and another part of him was desperately trying to hold his inner feelings back.

'Do you know what it's like to see someone that you love, someone that you've grown up with dying in front of your eyes?' Josh looked right at Sarah who stared back at him before nodding.

'Yes, yes I do,' Josh sat back and prepared to listen to her story before deciding whether he should tell his. 'My sister, twin sister actually, she passed away almost fifteen years ago now, she was a heroin addict. She's the reason I became what I am today, I know how hard it is to see someone so close change into an empty vessel in front of your very eyes. I guess doing this, helping people, it makes up for not being able to help her, well, it helps a little anyway,' Josh felt like crap for asking such a personal question as soon as she finished talking.

'I'm really sorry, I shouldn't have said anything…'

'Don't apologise, I've told you a little of my story so now I want to hear yours,' she smiled back at him as Josh clamped his hands together and began to twist his palms against each other nervously.

'My brother, Jake, I knew he partied a lot, drank a lot, did some drugs here and there but I never thought things would get as bad as they are right now, if I had stepped in when I had the chance we wouldn't be in this mess. He looked up to me and he watched me screw my life up, fuck lots of women, drink every night, take any drug my fucking so called 'friends' would give me. My baby brother is slipping so far away and I wanna try and get him back but I can't, none of us can and I know that I could have prevented this, I think my dad knows too but Shannon….She loves me so much that all she can see in me is good and decent and the truth is I'm not am I?' He felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of his chest as he spilled out his feelings to someone who knew nothing about him or his family. He could talk to Shannon about almost everything but not this, not his past, he never wanted her to know just how much of a fucking idiot he had been when she left.

'Did you force Jake to take drugs?' Sarah sat forward as Josh shook his head. 'You can't blame yourself for Jake's decisions, he's an adult Joshua and HE made the decision to start using, to sleep around and party, he didn't have to copy you, I didn't copy my sister when she did the same thing because I chose not to. You made mistakes, you wouldn't be human if you hadn't but are you the one with the addiction problem now? Are you still partying and sleeping around?'

'No, fuck no, as soon as I had my girls back in my life that stopped, the drugs stopped a long time ago, they weren't my thing. I just…I just feel so fucking helpless and I should be able to do something!' Josh punched one of his curled up fists against his palm as a jolt of anger passed through him.

'Okay, I think you need to take me back to the very beginning of YOUR life, not Jake's, yours. I want to try and understand how things have fit together for you and brought you to where you're at right now in life,' Josh found himself nodding, it was like an automatic response, he knew there and then that this hadn't been such a bad idea after all.

**Waiting Room**

Shannon decided to put her book away when she found herself reading the same paragraph for the seventh time, she just wasn't able to concentrate on reading when she was so anxious about how things were going for Josh.

She felt really stupid for feeling so nervous, it wasn't as if Josh was having surgery or getting important test results but she knew from experience that therapy wasn't easy. You confronted things that had been buried deep inside, sometimes for years and years. Even though they were so happy together now she knew deep down that he still worried about her leaving all over again, he held things back from her about his past even though she wanted to know everything about him. He was no Saint, he'd been with a lot of women and done a lot of crazy things but it didn't matter to her, every time he looked at her she knew that he loved her and she needed to convince him that she was never, ever leaving again, unless he did something really stupid to fuck things up.

She was about to get up from her warm seat to get a glass of water when the door to Dr Lewis's room opened.

'So er, same time next week?' Josh walked out of the room with his hands in his pockets followed by the doc.

'Same time next week, make the appointment with Emily and I'll see you then, it was lovely meeting you,' Shannon watched as Josh and the doctor shook hands again and a small smile appeared on his face, her anxiety and nerves were now replaced with complete relief, this hadn't been one huge car crash after all.

'I'll go and wait in the car,' she walked over to him once the doc had disappeared into her room and gave him a quick kiss on his red lips before she went to wait in the car, leaving Josh to schedule his appointment.

She was only in the car for a matter of minutes when Josh came out of the office and joined her in the car.

'I take it that went well then?' She asked as she took one of his sweaty hands in hers.

'Yeah it did, she's pretty cool sooo you might have been right,' Josh smirked before planting a kiss on her cold nose.

'Mmm well then, I think I'm gonna have to teach you a lesson tonight Mr Harris, never doubt me, ever,' his cock twitched in his jeans as Shannon whispered seductively into his ear. If they weren't parked up on a busy street he would have taken her there and then, no one had ever been able to make him lose control so quickly by just uttering a few words.

'Well the house is empty right now…'

'Nuh uh uh, I told you before, I've made plans for tonight, I'm dropping you off at the house so you can pick Caitlin up from school then take her over to your dad's house, I should be ready by then,' she grinned as Josh moaned out loud.

'This plan better be fucking good, I'm about ready to explode here!' Josh shook his head but secretly he loved her little games, it kept things fun and very interesting to say the least.

'Oh it will be, good things come to those who wait Joshua Harris,' she winked before starting up the engine, she'd start up his engine a little later.

**School Run**

Josh sat in his car with the window wound down smoking a cigarette as he waited for Caitlin to come out of school. His cell was perched on his leg, since Shannon had dropped him off at home he'd heard nothing from her and he was beginning to get more than a little frustrated. He was debating whether to ring her or not when he heard Caitlin's laugh from across the street, he looked over to see her talking to some boy, he guessed it was the Ben kid that she talked about ALL the time.

He wanted to start sounding the horn just to get them away from each other but he stopped himself, he didn't really want to fight with Caitlin or embarrass her so instead he remained in his seat and watched while his daughter talked happily to the boy she was sweet on. After a couple of minutes, they said their goodbyes and Caitlin ran over to the car with the biggest smile on her face.

'Hi daddy!' She said happily as she jumped into the front seat and threw her bag into the back.

'I take it that was Ben you were talking to?' Josh looked at her with a slight frown on his face, he didn't want his daughter dating or messing around with boys just yet, in fact, he didn't want her going near boys EVER, he wanted her to be his little girl for the rest of his life but he knew that wouldn't happen.

'No that wasn't Ben, that's Nate, I'm doing a Science Project with him, I said I'd go over to his house tomorrow so we could work on it,' Caitlin replied.

'Uh and who said you could go over to his house tomorrow? I thought that we were going to the movies?' He replied.

'Well schoolwork is important dad, you always tell me that so I thought you'd be okay with me skipping the movies to work on this project, Nate has football practice in the week so if we don't do it tomorrow I'll end up doing all the work on my own. Please let me go dad, his parents will keep an eye on us,' Caitlin gave him the puppy dog eye look that she'd perfected from her mother and he knew that he was fucked, he couldn't really say no to her going to work on a Science Project could he?

'You'll have to get grandpa to drop you over to his place, mom and I are going out tonight and we won't be back till late so you're staying over with him,' he replied, he was more than a little sad that he wouldn't get the chance to spend the day with her tomorrow, he knew that this was officially the start of Caitlin bailing on him to do things with her friends, his little girl was growing up and all too soon she wouldn't want to spend any time with him at all.

'Cool! I get to play with Gizmo and grandpa can show me the new birdhouse that he built!' He smiled a little at her response, she loved her granddad alright, mainly because he was wrapped around her little finger and even though everyone thought that Phil was a tough motherfucker, with Caitlin he was a pile of mush.

Josh started up the car after their little conversation and began to make his way over to his dad's place, he put his cell in the little tray on the dashboard and looked at it from time to time as he drove but there was still no word from Shannon. After a twenty minute drive they arrived at his dad's house and just as they came to a stop his cell started to vibrate.

He quickly picked it up out of the tray and opened the message which he had been waiting for ever since Shannon had dropped him off a few hours ago.

'Room 101, Edgewater Hotel, you have an appointment in half an hour, don't be late.'

Josh knew that it would take him at least twenty five minutes to get to the hotel if the traffic was okay, the chances of making it in half an hour were pretty slim but he was going to try, the need to get hold of Shannon's body and make love to her all night was driving him insane.

'Dad aren't you coming to say hi to grandpa?' Caitlin peered through his window as he put his cell back in the little tray and shook his head.

'Sorry sweetie I've gotta go,' Josh wound his window down and leaned forward to plant a kiss on Caitlin's forehead, 'be a good girl for grandpa and behave yourself at this Nate's house tomorrow okay? I love you.'

'Love you too daddy, bye!' Caitlin turned on her heel and ran towards Phil's house, Josh waited until she had gone inside before he pulled off and put his foot down to make it to the Edgewater Hotel before his time was up.

His mind was in overdrive, what would she do to him if he was late? Part of him wanted to be late just to find out what would happen but he was so desperate to get there and be inside her that he couldn't hold off, he drove like a maniac to get to the hotel and thankfully, the Gods seemed to be smiling down on him as the roads were practically empty.

He pulled up outside the hotel with five minutes to spare. He jumped out of the car and sprinted all the way inside, a few people pointed and stared at him as he made his way through the busy reception area, looking at the elevator signs briefly he noted that Room 101 was on the second floor. Instead of waiting for an elevator to arrive he decided to take the stairs and he did take them, three at a time.

Running down the long, seemingly endless corridor on the second floor, he arrived outside Room 101 with a minute to spare, he didn't even have time to get his breath back before he knocked on the door and waited for his lady to answer. When the door opened, he wished that he had taken a minute to get some air into his lungs as the sight before him nearly made him faint.

'Come in Mr Harris, you're on time, just,' Shannon, who was dressed in a little white doctors coat which barely covered her heaving bosom, stood back from the door and let him fall through it.

Her hair was pinned back so her beautiful face was on full display, black, square spectacles sat perched on the end of her nose and as much as he didn't want to take his eyes off her face, he couldn't help but look down at her white stocking clad legs.

'I um, wow you look…'

'Mr Harris you look a little pale, why don't you take a seat over there and I'll get you a glass of water,' he stumbled over to sit in a chair and watched Shannon as she walked over to the mini-bar to get him a bottle of water.

'There you go,' she deliberately leaned over as she handed him the bottle, giving him the chance to steal a look down her cleavage which he really wanted to bury his fucking head in.

She took a seat opposite him and watched as he downed the water in one, as soon as he'd finished it his dark brown eyes stared into hers and sent a shiver down her spine. She'd never done the whole role-play thing before, she only hoped that he would be willing to play along because she was really, really turned on by it.

'So Mr Harris, why are you here today?' She'd done all the work so far, putting on the clothes, arranging the hotel, setting the scene for this fantasy, now it was down to him to help her to play this out.

Josh swallowed hard, he was desperate to just pick her up and throw her down on the bed so he could take her but he had to control himself, he knew that if he did the sex would be even more mind blowing.

'I um, it's a bit embarrassing I guess but I'm sure you get this kind of stuff all the time doctor,' Josh stared at Shannon as crossed her long legs, she really was fucking killing him right now. 'Basically, I'm addicted to sex, not with different women, with my fiancé.'

It was the best thing he could come up with mainly because he was telling the fucking truth, he was addicted to sex, he was addicted to her.

'Why do you think this is? Why are you specifically addicted to her?' Shannon replied, her body wanted to just jump on top of him and start the proceedings already but she had to let this play out, that was the whole point of a role play fantasy.

'No one can make me feel like she can, being inside her, tasting her, devouring her, it just all feels so fucking good. I love making her climax over and over again until she can't take anymore, she blows my mind, she blows everything in fact,' Josh could feel his dick straining to be released but all he could do was sit and wait for Shannon to take control of things, he was following her lead.

'Have you tried sleeping with another woman since being with her?' Shannon opened her legs slightly knowing full well that Josh would catch a glimpse of her freshly shaved wet pussy, she was already so fucking turned on and he hadn't even touched her yet.

'I'd never do that to her, unless of course it was advised for me to do that by a doctor so I can overcome this problem,' Josh wanted to move things along quickly, he needed her so fucking much.

'Hmm well I don't usually recommend that people cheat on their loved ones but to be honest with you, I think in this case it might be just the thing that you need, not with just anyone of course,' Shannon moved to the edge of her seat and leaned over slightly so Josh could once again look down her cleavage. 'I think I could help you Joshua, that's if you're willing to let me.'

It was moving along quicker than she'd anticipated but she had no desire to hold things back, her pussy wouldn't let her go without his touch for much longer.

'I mean, I guess so, I just, I just don't know if I should really do this, I love my fiancé and if she knew…'

'I'm your doctor Joshua, I know what's best for you and what happens in this room stays just between us, you want to get better don't you?' At this point, Josh was fighting the urge to reach down and grab his hard dick as he watched Shannon get up from her chair and slowly make her way towards him. 'Let me help you Joshua.'

She held her hands out to him and he took them, pulling him up from his seat she began to lead him across to the huge bed, when she reached the edge of the mattress she quickly spun them around and pushed Josh down onto it.

'I want you to lick my pussy just like you would for your fiancé and don't stop until you make me climax,' Shannon knew that it wouldn't take long for her to cross the line, her pussy was tingling already and once his tongue went to work it was going to take a lot of energy to hold herself back from just coming right away.

Josh lay back on the bed and watched in a daze as Shannon crawled on top of him and brought her pussy up to his face. Straddling his face he reached for her thighs and let his hands grip them tightly as he eagerly pulled her soaking wet mound down onto his willing mouth.

'Oh fuck!'

His tongue easily slid over the juicy, moist peach that he knew every single inch of. He began devouring her and groaning into her moist slit as he felt her shudder above him. He knew the spots to hit to drive her wild and with his long, wet tongue he lavished attention on her rock hard clit which he could feel throbbing against his mouth. His hands ran up and down her thighs as she slowly began to rock back and forth against his experienced mouth.

She was in heaven and she didn't care who knew it as her moans and cries of pleasure began to get louder and louder with each move he made on her aching pussy. She closed her eyes and threw her head back as she began to move around against his slick mouth, his tongue alternated between her clit and her sensitive opening as she tried to take as much air into her lungs as possible. Reaching down with one of her hands she gripped his thick black hair and increased the pace of her wild movements against him, when she felt herself getting almost to the point of no return she forced open her eyes and looked down at him.

Seeing his dark brown eyes looking up at her as his mouth worked frantically on her mound was enough to force her over the edge, a list of expletives fell from her lips as she rocked back and forth and ground out her orgasm against his face.

Josh kept his eyes firmly fixed on her beautiful face as he pulled his mouth away from her palpitating clit and wrapped his lips around one of her moist pink lips instead. He lightly sucked on it and ran his hands up to her flat stomach as he waited for her to recover. His dick was throbbing so hard inside his jeans, as soon as she touched him he would probably shoot his load everywhere.

After a few minutes of heavy breathing she finally managed to get herself together. She opened her eyes and looked down at Josh who was still playing with her wet mound, as nice as it felt it was only fair for her to return the favour.

'Did I taste good?' Josh nodded eagerly as he watched Shannon crawl back down his sensitive body, she pulled his shirt up to reveal his firm stomach and scratched her long nails over his olive toned flesh. 'So smooth, so soft…' she purred as she took her hands away from his chest to undo the white coat she had on, she was going to remove it completely when Josh grabbed her hands and shook his head.

'Keep it on, keep the stockings and shoes on too,' he growled, the thought of pounding into her whilst her stocking clad legs wrapped themselves around his waist drove him wild and made his cock nearly burst through the thin denim.

Shannon licked her lips and did as she was told, letting her breasts slide over his uncovered stomach as she worked her way towards his cock which she could see needed to be released.

'Mmm someone's a little excited I see, I wonder if your fiancé can get you as worked up as this?' She teased as she ran her hands over his rock hard dick.

Josh thrust up involuntarily against her hands as she ran them over his length which was begging to be freed from its denim and cotton clad cage.

She could see that Josh was fighting the urge to take control of things and because he had been such a good boy, she thought it would be cruel to keep him waiting. Josh watched intently as she began to unhook his belt, raising himself off the bed slightly he quickly pulled off his shirt and threw it across the room, he wanted to be completely naked for her so she could touch every part of his body.

'You're so hot Josh, by far my hottest patient,' she groaned, biting down on her lip as she began to pull his jeans down.

She tried to be as gentle as possible as she removed his trousers and pants in one go but with his long, thick length fully erect it was a difficult job getting him undressed. After struggling for a couple of minutes she finally removed the last of his clothes and stared proudly at the body that lay beneath her.

'Let's see how good I am at sucking your cock,' seeing his glistening cock resting against his firm stomach was too much for her, she had to taste him and give him what he needed.

Keeping eye contact with him, she leaned over and slowly ran her tongue over his thick length before she popped his pre-cum covered head into her willing mouth.

'Jesus fucking Christ!'

He almost lost it as soon as her warm lips wrapped themselves around his thick tip but somehow he managed to hold back, he knew that he wouldn't be able to fight for long though, there was no way he could last.

She lost herself as she let her mouth work feverishly on his cock, the first time she'd done this to him she'd been so scared of doing something wrong or not being able to satisfy him but now she knew that she could this was one of her favourite things to do. She had spent so many hours playing with every inch of his body, exploring it all over again so she could learn what he liked, she wanted to try new things all the time so that he'd never get bored with her.

Bracing her hands against the mattress, she started to take his cock deeper into her throat, she wanted to take as much of it as she could, at some point she hoped that she would be able to take all of it but that would take a lot more practice.

Josh looked down at his amazing fiancé and watched as she swallowed as much of his cock as she could, when she got halfway down his thick length he expected her to pull off, that was usually the point where she had to stop. Looking up at him, she moved her mouth even further down his shaft and Josh instantly reached for her hair as he felt himself coming closer to the abyss.

Knowing what her limits were, Shannon pulled off his cock before taking it in her mouth again. She got into a steady rhythm, sucking his length in and out of her mouth as Josh pulled at her hair and kept watching her intently. She could tell he was close when the steady flow of pre-cum seeping out of his tip started to run into her mouth like a stream, his tight grip on her hair increased and stealing a look up at him and catching his eye was enough to send him crying out a list of obscene things.

His head fell back against the soft mattress as he emptied his load into her mouth but still he wanted more. She'd worked him up so fucking much that he didn't even need a rest, he just wanted his cock buried deep inside her.

Shannon lavished kisses on his inner thighs and let her hands play with his still hard length as she waited for him to recover, she was expecting him to go soft at any minute and after that it would probably take a while for him to do anything else.

Her attention was focused solely on his dick when Josh rose up from the mattress and pulled her up so he could plant a hard kiss against her lips. She gasped into his mouth and wrapped her arms around his neck as his hands ran down her back and rested on her hips.

Without breaking the kiss Josh managed to lift them both up off the bed, she'd had her turn at taking control but now it was his turn. Shannon knew that she couldn't fight back and wrestle control from him, he was too strong for her and judging by how hard his cock had remained she was in for a real treat.

Guiding them towards the wall both of them gasped as Shannon came to a halt against the cream coloured wallpaper which covered the room. He pulled his lips away from hers and looked into her beautiful blue eyes which he would never tire of looking at as long as he lived, his strong hands grabbed the underside of her thighs and pushed them apart as far as they would go, continuing to stare at her he groaned as Shannon's hand wormed its way down to his dick and easily pushed it inside her burning hot core.

'FUCK!'

She would never ever get sick of him sliding inside her ever, she could feel every bump and ridge of his huge cock as it made its way inside her steaming channel which was aching to be fucked hard by the man she loved so much. She loved it when they made love, slow and gentle as they moaned and touched each other but right now, she needed to be fucked, and hard.

Wrapping his hands firmly around her waist Josh bent his legs slightly then pushed as hard as he could, ramming his length inside her with as much energy as he could muster.

'Oh fuck, that's right, fuck me, fuck me!'

He pressed his sweat soaked forehead against hers and started to grunt as he felt her silky stocking covered legs wrap themselves around his bare ass, he wished that he had brought a camera so he could have taped this because it probably looked fucking fantastic.

Again and again he slammed his cock home, hitting places inside her that she was sure no other man could ever reach, she couldn't even reach them herself with her vibrator. Her long nails scorched his neck as she felt herself crumbling around him, Josh relished the sharp pain that her nails caused as they cut into his skin, he'd have cuts and marks there for days but he didn't care. These were war wounds that he could be really proud of as far as he was concerned.

Bending his legs even more to hit the special spot inside her he knew he'd found it when she began to scream out his name so loud that he was positive that the rest of the hotel would be wondering who the fuck Josh was and what the hell he was doing to get such a reaction. Deeper and deeper he delved into her tight, wet core until his legs started to shake and he knew, just as she did, that he wouldn't be able to last much longer, she couldn't expect him to after how much she'd teased him and turned him on.

'Come with me Josh, come with me! Please!' She managed to gasp out even though she could barely breath as the tip of his cock continued to hit her g-spot head on.

She could feel her juices running down her inner thighs, covering both of them with her sweet sex juice which no doubt he would clean up with his mouth later on. She wrapped her arms even tighter around his neck and held on as Josh surged inside her again and again, she could feel his legs shaking just as her legs shook against his strong back.

'Gonna….CUM!'

He grunted out with the last bit of strength that he had as he felt his seed bury itself deep inside her, the flood of warmth and the last touch of his tip against her g-spot pushed her way over the finish line as his legs finally gave way beneath him.

They both tumbled onto the ground in a heap and held onto each other as their climaxes rushed through them. Breathing hard and fast she buried her head against his sweat soaked chest and pressed kisses against his salty skin. This had been the best idea ever as far as she was concerned!

When both of them had finally calmed down after a good ten minutes, Josh pulled her face up from his chest and planted a soft kiss against her lips.

'Your fiance is one very lucky lady Josh,' she smirked as Josh smiled back at her.

'Nah, I'm the lucky one, you're amazing Shannon Andrews.'

She smiled back at him before pulling his body close to hers and letting him place his head on her shoulder. She wrapped her arms around him and counted her blessings, she was really the luckiest woman in the whole world.


	8. Chapter 8

**Thanks for the lush reviews, glad my smut was up to standard! More to come I promise but alas, not in this chapter! Emotional rollercoaster ahead, please R and R, thank you my lovelies! :)))**

Chapter Eight

'Now are you sure you've got this under control?' Josh rolled his eyes as he ushered the slightly tipsy pairing of his fiancé and her best friend Louise out of the door.

'Yes I have it all under control so just go and have a good time! The house will still be here when you get back, so will we!' Shannon couldn't help but smile as Josh planted a soft kiss on her lips and stood on the doorstep waving them off as they walked down the front path to the cab waiting for them on the street.

'Why can't Kevin look at me like that? It's so obvious that he worships you just by the way he looks at you, Kevin looks at me like I'm an embarrassment these days, it never used to be like that,' Louise linked arms with Shannon as they walked down the path together.

She knew that Louise was having problems in her marriage and all that she could do was try her best to comfort her and offer advice. She'd only met Kevin a couple of times, he was usually away on business, but she really didn't like him one bit. He put Louise down a lot, making digs about her weight, her breasts, everything that he could think of and as far as she was concerned Louise deserved someone who would treat her like a Princess. She was gorgeous inside and out and she was definitely a million times better than Kevin.

'You know what I think Louise, you've given him so many chances and tried as best as you could to make things right again but he doesn't deserve you. You are more than welcome to come and stay with us, I want you to be happy and he doesn't make you happy does he?' Shannon replied as they reached the cab and she pulled the door open, she got inside and scooted over the back seat so Louise could get in alongside her.

'Where you headin' ladies?' The cab driver asked as soon as Louise shut the door.

'Okay, we have to choose, Contour or The Triple Door?' Shannon looked at Louise who shrugged her shoulders.

'As long as they have Vodka, I don't care where we go!' She giggled.

'Could we go to Contour please?' Shannon replied to the driver who nodded his head and pulled off, 'It's open later than Triple Door which means more drinking time!'

'Good choice chicka!' Louise smiled as they set off for the nightclub that neither of them had ever been to before.

'So, does he?' Shannon might have had a few glasses of wine but she hadn't forgotten the question she'd asked Louise before they'd got into the cab and she wanted an answer.

'He's the father of my child Shannon, I can't just walk out on him and take Caitlin away from her daddy, I have to try and make this work somehow. If he would just agree to come to couples counselling with me I know that we could sort things out, maybe when I lose some more weight…'

'You don't need to lose any more weight! You're like a hundred pounds, what does he want a skeleton?' Shannon shook her head in disbelief, Kevin had really fucked her head up so much, how could she possibly think that she needed to lose weight when she was beautiful just as she was.

'I don't know,' Louise sighed, 'look, let's just forget about all this shit tonight and concentrate on having a good time okay? We probably won't get to do this again until you're bachelorette party because we both know that those girls are gonna run rings around poor Josh!'

Both of them laughed as they pictured Josh trying to cope with two hormonal teenage girls, he really had no clue what he was up against tonight, when she got home she could only imagine what sort of a state he'd be in. She was so grateful to him for doing this for her, a night out was exactly what she needed and thanks to him it was happening.

Back In The Hormonal Home

'He's just SO cute! Kristen Stewart is the luckiest girl in the whole world to be dating him,' Caitlin sighed as Josh walked into the room just in time to hear his daughter drool all over the creepy vampire dude from the Twilight movies.

'Jacob is my favourite, his body is like so hot!' Katie giggled then blushed as she noticed Josh walking into the room.

'I don't get what you see in either of them, the vampire is a creepy stalker and that Jake dude seems like a douche,' Josh held a laugh back as both Caitlin and Katie looked at each other then rolled their eyes at him.

'Dad you're so lame sometimes!' Caitlin complained as Josh took a seat in his chair.

'Are you gonna watch the movie with us Mr Harris?' Josh smiled at Katie, Caitlin had chosen her best friend well, she was very polite and a very smart kid.

'Katie you can call me Josh, Mr Harris makes me sound like a teacher or something, I think you know me well enough to call me by my first name now,' Katie smiled shyly but nodded in response to what he'd said. 'Anyway, you are seriously gonna watch this rubbish again? It's a beautiful night, we should be outside enjoying the weather, not watching this vampire crap for the millionth time!'

'It's not crap and you don't have to watch it with us,' Caitlin rolled her eyes again as Josh sat back in the chair and decided to stick around just so he could torture them a little.

'Nah I'm cool right here, one of the Vampire chicks is kinda hot, don't tell your mom I said that though,' Josh smirked.

As the girls quietened down and became engrossed in the film Josh couldn't help but feel a little sad. Caitlin was growing up so quickly, too quickly. She wouldn't be with them for that much longer, in another few years she'd probably go off to college and he would hardly see her. He wanted to spend as much time with her as possible but she was already skipping out on days out with him to head out to the mall with her friends, a huge part of him felt like he was losing her.

'Mr Ha…I mean, Josh, is it okay for me to make some popcorn? I brought some with me,' Katie interrupted his solemn thoughts.

'I'll make it, you two just sit here and drool over the creepy dudes,' Josh smiled as Katie handed him the popcorn.

'Thanks dad!' Caitlin smiled broadly at him.

He headed out to the kitchen and tried to overcome the negative thoughts that swirled in his brain, in a couple of days he was seeing Sarah again and he could sit down and talk things out with her. He'd probably need to spend fucking years talking to her because there were many things that needed to be discussed, not just Jake and his problems but things from the past too. For now though, he just had to concentrate on all the good things in his life and there were many of them.

Contour

Shannon and Louise sat on their stools at the bar and slammed down their fourth shot glass full of tequila.

'Oh God I feel sooo dizzy!' Shannon giggled, she had not had this much to drink in a very long time and she knew that she would pay for this with a monster hangover in the morning but she was having too much fun to quit.

'One more then we dance!' Louise shouted over the blaring dance music as she pulled out a ten dollar bill from her purse and began waving it at the cute bartender who immediately came over to serve her.

The guy was evidently a fan of Louise, Shannon had noticed him staring at her more than once when he thought no one was looking. After he'd made their drinks and handed them over, she noticed him handing Louise a piece of paper as he gave her change. He gave her a big smile before walking away to serve some other people at the far end of the bar.

'I bet that's his number!' Shannon smiled as Louise unravelled the piece of folded paper to reveal his name and number scrawled down on the small piece of paper.

'He probably did it for a joke,' Louise ripped up the piece of paper before Shannon had the chance to take it from her.

'Why would he do something like that for a joke? You're gorgeous!' Shannon had told her that so many times but her self-esteem was so low and battered that she wouldn't believe anything that she said.

'Come on, let's drink up and dance!' Louise totally ignored what she had just said before downing her drink and getting up out of her seat.

Shannon sighed and shook her head but followed her lead, tonight was about having fun and not getting all miserable and upset, they were here to party.

After downing her own shot and the remainder of her bottle of Bud she grabbed her bag and followed Louise as she stumbled to the dance floor. The music that was blaring out over the numerous speakers was nothing that she had heard before, it was just loud, heavy dance music which most people seemed to love but it wasn't really her style. Nevertheless she still danced and tried to take in her surroundings even though her head was beginning to spin, the copious amount of alcohol that she'd drunk was taking its toll on her already. She kept staring at Louise as he feet began to feel like huge lumps of wobbling jelly, her body started to go really cold even though it was so fucking warm and sweaty on the packed dance floor, they'd only been dancing for ten minutes when she knew that she had to go to the bathroom and puke, she could feel the bile rising in her throat already.

'Are you okay?' Louise grabbed her arm as Shannon shook her head and pointed in the direction of the bathroom. Louise linked their arms together and immediately began to push people out of the way as Shannon followed in a daze.

By the time they'd fought their way to the bathroom Shannon ran to the first cubicle that was free and just puked her guts up into the basin.

'That's right, just let it all out, I knew we shouldn't have drunk so much,' Louise groaned as she stood behind her and tried to pull her hair back out of her face.

Shannon remained over the basin for a few minutes as she continued to dry heave for a while, when she was sure that everything was out of her system she finally stood up and turned to face Louise.

'I am SO sorry, this is so fucking embarrassing….'

'Oh shush no it's not! Let's go and get ourselves some water and just chill for a while, I don't want to go home in this state,' Louise smiled as Shannon flushed the toilet and came out of the cubicle.

Before going back into the club she fixed her make-up and hair to look as respectable as possible. They then made their way back into the blaring hot club and fought their way to the bar to get a couple of bottles of water before they went to sit down in a quiet corner of the club.

'We should do this more often you know,' Louise shouted over the music and Shannon nodded.

'Yeah, except I need to avoid the tequila! It makes me sick every fucking time!' She replied, she should have had vodka shots instead, they never seemed to have much of an effect on her.

'Well my mom's in town next weekend, she could look after the kids and we could do this again,' Louise replied, Shannon thought for a moment about whether she had made any plans with Josh but she hadn't so she found herself agreeing.

'Josh can go out with some of his pals then, he's been so good since we got back together,' Shannon smiled, he'd really changed his life around for them, he'd had a few nights out here and there but not many, not many at all.

'I wish Kevin was the same, he acts like a fucking college kid, even when he is home he spends more time out with his 'boys' than he does with us,' Louise sighed as she picked at her bottle of water.

'You really need to sit down and talk to him Louise, things can't go on as they are. I know you want to keep your family together but have you ever thought that it might be better for Katie if the two of you do separate? It can't be nice for her to hear him putting you down all the time,' Shannon had sworn not to go into this but since Louise had brought Kevin up first she thought that it was okay to discuss things a little more.

'I know that you'd be there for me and Katie Shannon but I couldn't expect you to take us in if I did leave him, it wouldn't be fair on you and Josh….'

'Louise, you're my friend, my best friend! You were the one person who went out of their way to make me feel welcome when I came to the school and dropped Caitlin off for the first time, no one else would talk to me apart from you! I don't want you to feel trapped, I don't want you to be with someone who upsets you and hurts you all the time, you deserve so much more than him,' Shannon reached out and took her hand.

'It's just so hard….He made so many promises to me and to Katie and now he's breaking every single one of them. I just, I just don't know if I'm strong enough to leave him,' Louise shook her head as Shannon tightened her grip on her hand.

'You are strong enough Louise, I never thought that I would be strong enough to say goodbye to my mom and never see her again but I did it and look how things have turned out for me. You won't be alone for long, men will be lining up to go on dates with you! You're beautiful inside and out, I know you don't believe that right now but you are and you can do this,' Shannon hoped that her friend was listening because she couldn't go on like this for much longer. The longer she stayed with Kevin the worse things would get.

'You're gonna have me fucking crying in a second!' Louise laughed as she wiped her eyes. 'Do you wanna get out of here and have some food? The music's beginning to give me a headache!'

'There's a McDonalds down the street, I could kill for a big mac and fries right now!' Just as quickly as the serious conversation about Kevin started it came to an end.

Shannon didn't want to push Louise into making a decision, she had to leave him in her own time, she just hoped that she wouldn't wait around for much longer because as far as she could tell their relationship just couldn't be saved.

Taking their bottles of water with them, they left the boiling hot club in search of food. The cool night air tingled against Shannon's skin as they got outside into the darkness, if they were going to do this again next week they were not coming here, she wanted to go somewhere where she could actually sing along to the music.

Linking arms once again they started to walk towards the McDonalds that the cab had passed on their way here. Shannon's stomach groaned as they walked, vomiting had emptied her stomach and she was in desperate need of some fatty, junk food to make her feel better.

'Oh look at this poor guy, I think I have some change left,' Louise came to a dead stop and started to rummage around in her purse as Shannon looked towards the homeless man that she was talking about.

She felt sorry for anyone that was living on the streets, at some point in their lives they'd had a family, they'd had a life, how could things get so bad for someone that they ended up like this?

'Here you go,' Shannon followed Louise as she made her way towards the man sitting in a doorway.

As Louise went to hand him the change she had found he looked up and locked eyes with Shannon whose heart nearly stopped dead.

'Jake?'

The Harris Home

Josh shut off the TV after watching nothing but shit for the past hour. It was coming up to one in the morning and it didn't look like the girls were heading back anytime soon but he decided to stay put in the lounge. Shannon hadn't had a night out for a very long time so he guessed that she'd be pretty wasted and he wanted to be here to help get her to bed.

Louise was also spending the night here, it was easier for her to do that than wake Katie up to take her home when she probably wouldn't be in any fit state to look after her. He was glad that he'd arranged this night out for Shannon, she needed it. She'd missed out on partying, drinking and socialising with friends to bring up Caitlin and she'd never get that time back, the least he good do was look after the girls once in a while so she could go out and let her hair down.

He settled his head back against the couch and put the light on as he pulled a magazine over to flick through it. He was really, really tired, taking care of two girls had definitely worn him the fuck out, they had fucking answers for everything already!

He'd managed to get them into bed just before eleven o clock, he'd heard them talking and giggling for a while but now there were no sounds coming from Caitlin's room so he assumed that they were asleep. He'd survived his night alone with two teenage girls and he deserved a really long, sloppy blowjob for his work, though he doubted that Shannon would be in any fit state to give him one of those tonight.

He continued to flick through the magazine until he got bored and threw it to one side so he could close his eyes for a second. No sooner had his lids shut he heard the slamming of a car door closely followed by another door slamming shut.

He opened his eyes and quickly got up from the couch to go over to the window and open up the blinds, when he saw who was getting out of the cab his stomach immediately dropped. What the fuck was going on?

Not stopping to think twice about what he was doing he stormed out of the house and ran down the path in time to see the cab driving away as Shannon and Louise struggled to keep his wasted brother up on his feet.

'Josh let me explain…..'

She could see the anger burning behind his eyes as he approached them. What was she supposed to do? She couldn't have left Jake out on the street and Phil was in San Francisco doing some promotional thing for the show, there was no where else that she could bring him.

'Why the hell did you bring him here? Look at him Shannon! You want Caitlin to see him like this?' Josh snapped as the anger continued to build up inside him.

'He was out on the fucking street Josh! What could I do? Look at him! He needs help!' Shannon argued as Josh shook his head.

'You should have just taken him back to his place!'

'I can't do that Josh because he doesn't HAVE a place anymore! He didn't pay the rent, he was kicked out a few days ago, that's all I've been able to get out of him,' she sighed heavily, she didn't really want to bring a drug addict into her house but she was not prepared to leave him rot on the sidewalk.

The Jake that she had known was a good kid, a sweet kid, if he could just get help then she was sure that he could be that person again.

Josh looked at the dishevelled, dirty, pitiful figure that was his younger brother and felt his heart ache. This was far from ideal but he couldn't send him back out on the streets, not in this state. For tonight, he would have to stay here and he would have to try and somehow keep the kids away from him because he didn't want Caitlin or Katie to see him like this.

'Go upstairs and make sure the girls stay in their room, I'll take care of him,' Josh instructed but Shannon wanted to remain with him, if seeing Jake in this state was awful for her she couldn't even imagine how Josh must feel.

'I'll take care of the girls,' Louise patted Shannon's arm and smiled.

'I'm so sorry things had to end like this…'

'Hey don't apologise! It's been a great night, apart from this obviously,' Louise corrected herself as they walked ahead of Josh who was practically carrying Jake in his arms.

When they got to the front door Louise headed into the house and went upstairs to the girls room while Shannon waited for the brothers on the doorstep.

'I'm gonna take him upstairs and put him in the bath, maybe that will sober him up a little,' Josh sighed heavily as he carried his younger brother over the doorstep.

He was beginning to talk a little but Josh couldn't make sense of what he was saying, his words were slurred and too quiet for his big ass ears to comprehend.

'I'll make up a bed for him on the couch and get him something clean to wear, I'm sorry about this….'

'Hey, hey…' Josh's face softened when he saw the guilt on her face, he'd snapped at her for doing the exact same thing that he would have done if he had been in her position, this wasn't her fault. 'I'm sorry that you had to be the one to find him like this and I shouldn't have snapped at you, I'm taking my shit out on the wrong person. We'll deal with this, let's just hope that this makes him realise that he needs help.'

He planted a soft kiss on her forehead before he began to carry Jake upstairs. Shannon watched as her fiancé disappeared and she hoped that he was right, if Jake didn't get help things were going to get so much worse. He'd lost his job, his friends, his belongings and now his home, the next thing for him to lose would be his very existence and that terrified her.

A Few Hours Later

The tiredness had left his body completely, he was now wide awake and he wasn't going to get any sleep tonight, he didn't want to close his eyes in case his brother decided to sneak off into the night. Jake was passed out on the couch wrapped up in the thick woollen blanket that Shannon had dug out for him, his hair was still wet from the bath that he'd given him, not that he'd remember being in the bath. Josh was pretty sure he wouldn't remember how he even got here when he did wake up.

His insides were churning and he could feel his heart beating hard against his chest, seeing his brother like this was almost too much for him to bear. The person sleeping on his couch wasn't Jake, it was just a shell of what he used to be because Josh was pretty sure that there wasn't much left anymore. The drugs were ravishing him completely, from his outward appearance to the depths of his soul and pretty soon he was sure that his brother's body wouldn't be able to take anymore.

They'd fought a lot, in all honesty he'd always been more than a little jealous of his younger brother. When he came along a lot of attention was taken away from him and focused on his baby brother and it took some time to adjust to that. Where he failed badly at school Jake had excelled, he could achieve anything that he wanted to achieve and yet here he was, passed out and weak because of the junk that he was forcing through his veins. His family probably expected the roles to be reversed, he went off the rails big time when Shannon had left but he'd slowly managed to pull himself together, the love of his life returning had seen to that. He'd partied with Jake, he'd known about his occasional drug use and he'd never called him out over it, he had done the same thing so who was he to question his younger brother when he wasn't exactly a fucking saint himself.

All he could do was stare at him and pray that this would make him see that he needed help, he needed someone to intervene before he ended up in a wooden box because that's where he was heading. As he kept watch over his brother he lit another cigarette, usually he'd smoke outside but he wasn't leaving the room for even a second unless someone else was here to keep an eye on Jake.

He blew out a cloud of thick smoke into the air and watched it rise until it disappeared completely. His trance was broken when the door opened and Shannon appeared carrying two large cups in her hands. She shut the door using her foot and walked over to him, his arms opened automatically, he needed her close to him.

She placed the cups on the table in front of them and climbed into his lap as his warm arms wrapped around her, pulling her close to his chest where she rested her head against his pounding heart.

'Why don't you try and get some sleep? I can watch him for a few hours,' Shannon whispered against his skin.

'I'm not tired, you can go to bed if you want, I'll be okay down here,' Josh didn't really want her to leave but it wasn't fair to make her stay up with him.

Shannon raised her head up from his chest and shook her head as she pressed her forehead against his. 'I'd rather stay here with you.'

She knew without him saying anything that he needed her here by his side and that's where she was going to stay. The pain and sadness was evident in his eyes which usually shone but tonight they just looked murky and clouded, she wanted to be able to take his pain away but she couldn't, she could only be here for him and let him know that he didn't have to go through this alone.

He tightened his grip on her pliant body and buried his nose in her hair to smell her distinctive scent that somehow managed to bring him comfort.

'I don't wanna lose him Shannon,' he uttered the words before he could stop himself and felt the warm tears run down his cheeks, he was so good at holding things back but he couldn't do it tonight, he had to let it go.

'I know you don't, I know baby,' she wrapped her arms around his neck and held him as he sobbed against her shoulder.

She wanted to tell him that everything would be okay but how could she when things might not be okay? She didn't want to give him false hope or lie to make him feel better, all she could do was hold him and let him cry.

**I know it has been an emotional chapter, I just hope I did an okay job with a tough subject matter. This by no means is a story that is meant to slate Jake or make him out to be the bad guy at all, I just wanted to take a deeper look at how addiction can affect the ones who look on. **


	9. Chapter 9

**Thank you for all the reviews! I am SO sorry that it has taken me so long to update this, I really struggled with this update and I have not been in the frame of mind to write recently but I am getting back into it so I hope to bring you another update soon. Please review, I hope you keep reading! :)**

Chapter Nine

Josh kept his red eyes firmly fixed upon Shannon's face as she slept in his arms. It was coming up to nine o clock in the morning and she had stayed with him all night, her eyes had finally closed just over an hour ago when he'd started to stroke her face with his long fingers. He was grateful that she'd stayed with him, her presence had been enough to keep him calm, if he'd been left alone the temptation to drag Jake out of the house and dump him at a treatment centre would probably have been too much to contain.

Deep down he knew that doing that wouldn't help though, if Jake couldn't admit to himself that he had a problem then none of them could help.

'Where the fuck am I?'

He'd been so focused on Shannon and his own thoughts that he hadn't noticed that his brother had woken up from his long sleep. As soon as he shifted in his seat Shannon also woke up with a start.

'How the fuck did I end up here?' Shannon had been about to ask Josh if he was alright when she heard Jake speak, she turned around in time to see him sit upright on the couch as he held his head in his hands.

'You're gonna sit here and tell me that you don't remember any of the fucking shit that went down last night?' Josh's voice trembled, he'd not expected his brother to remember anything at all but hearing him talk without a care in the world just made his anger bubble under the surface again.

'If I did fucking remember, why the fuck would I be ASKING?' Jake snapped and as quick as a flash Shannon rose to her feet and moved to stand over him.

'I was the one that fucking found you lying out on the street Jake! I was the one that brought you here because I was terrified that something might happen to you! Josh had to fucking wash you and dress you last night! So don't sit there and talk to him like shit!' She was taken aback by the amount of anger she felt as she looked at Jake.

She was angry that he'd done this to himself, he was once a good looking, funny, intelligent boy and he'd ruined himself for what? To have a good time with his friends? To fit in with the idiots he liked to hang around with? Where were all his so called fucking friends now when he needed help? Oh yeah, they'd abandoned him as soon as his money had dried up!

'I never asked for you to fucking bring me here did I so don't act like you've done me any favours when you fucking haven't!' Jake stumbled onto his feet but before he could go face to face with Shannon Josh got in-between them and pushed Jake back down onto the couch.

'Don't you even think about fucking laying one finger on her! You touch her and I swear to fucking God Jake…'

'I wasn't going to touch her you stupid fuck! I don't want your leftovers!'

Shannon saw Josh's fists clench and his left hand draw back, before he could do any sort of damage to Jake she wrapped her arms around his waist and drew on superhuman strength to pull him back slightly, she did not want any violence in this house, never again.

'This isn't him talking Josh you have to remember that!' She was furious with Jake but she herself had to remember that if Jake was fit and sober he would NEVER talk like this, ever.

Josh was shaking with rage and if it wasn't for Shannon he'd be beating seven shades of shit out of his little brother right now but he had to hold back, fighting wasn't going to make any of this shit better it would just make it so much worse.

Shannon continued to hold onto Josh as she watched Jake stare him down for a few seconds before he sat back down on the couch, even though he still looked wasted he probably realised that he would not win in a fight against his older, stronger brother.

Josh was about to try and speak to Jake again when he heard the door to the lounge beginning to open slowly, he held his breath, hoping that Caitlin wasn't the one standing on the other side, he didn't want her hearing any of this. He was relieved when he saw a nervous Louise opening the door, she looked pretty rough, then again she'd had plenty to drink last night and not much sleep.

'Um, I was wondering if I could take a shower here? I was thinking that I could take the girls over to my place so you guys can sort things out here, we could um, kinda hear…' Louise stumbled with her words as Shannon immediately released Josh from her vice like grip.

'I'd better go and check on Caitlin, this is my fault…'

'Shannon it's okay, both the girls are getting dressed and I've told them to wait outside while I shower, gimme half an hour and we'll be out of here,' Louise smiled reassuringly as Josh reached out to grip Shannon's hand tightly. 'Call me when you want me to bring her back, I hope you guys can sort something out,' her eyes wandered briefly to Jake who had turned to face her, as soon as she backed out of the room and closed the door behind her he let out a low whistle.

'Damn she's hot, who is she?' Jake said and Josh could feel his temperature beginning to rise again.

'Seriously? You've been kicked out of your house and Shannon found you begging on the street and all you wanna do is sit there and try and act like some kind of fucking playboy? Can't you even see what a fucking mess you're in Jake? What you're doing to not just you but everyone around you?' Josh shook his head in despair as he tried to keep his cool, someone HAD to get through to him soon.

'Why do you always fucking talk down to me Josh huh? You act as if you're so fucking perfect, like you've never taken drugs or fucked around, you didn't exactly set a good example!'

'Don't try and turn this shit around on me, yeah I fucked around, yes I took drugs from time to time but you and I are totally fucking different! YOU made the choice to start putting shit into your veins Jake, I didn't hold you down or force you to do anything so don't sit there and blame me for where you're at now when all I am trying to do is help you! All any of us are trying to do is help you! I want you to be around, I want you to be clean and sober so you can be a fucking uncle to Caitlin, so you can come out fishing and make something of yourself, you can't wanna live like this forever Jake, please tell me that this isn't what you want your life to be like because you could do anything, anything at all,' his voice shook with emotion as it poured out of him all in one go, as far as he was concerned this whole conversation was make or break time.

Jake remained seated on the couch but just stared into the distance as Josh continued to stand in front of him, his words had seemingly gone in through one ear and straight out the other. When Jake eventually snapped out of his daze after a couple of minutes he got to his feet, avoiding Josh's gaze as he started to make his way out of the room.

'I need something to drink,' he replied casually, as if he didn't have a care in the world.

Shannon had watched the scene in silence, just by looking at Josh she knew that his heart was close to breaking on the spot. She wrapped her arms around his waist and pulled him close to her without saying a word, what could she possibly say to make him feel any better? She had no answers, no suggestions, maybe she should have just left Jake out on the streets then none of this would be happening, the love of her life wouldn't be close to tears in her arms.

'I don't know what to do, I just don't know what to do….'

He whispered as he remained locked in her arms. He had tried everything that he could think of but Jake wasn't willing to listen, he couldn't keep him here, not with Caitlin around. If he wouldn't get help he had no choice but to send him back out onto the streets where he wouldn't last long, how was he going to explain this to his dad when he came back home? His health had been deteriorating for a while and this latest bit of news was just going to make things a million times worse. Things just seemed to be falling apart around him and he couldn't seem to pick the pieces back up and make them fit.

Jake's POV – The Kitchen

He staggered to the huge fridge with so many different thoughts floating around in his mind, the first one being just how the hell he was going to get the money for his next hit. Josh was hardly going to give him cash, he knew as soon as he went back into the lounge that he would be out on his ass without so much as a goodbye. His older brother didn't want him around, not now that Shannon and Caitlin were in his life. He had his picture perfect family and there was no place in it for him at all. There didn't seem to be a place for him anywhere, not now, getting lost in a world of drink and drugs, they made him forget just how bad things had become.

He had his lucid moments, like now and he hated them because without the drugs he couldn't keep his guilt or his sadness at bay. It had all started as a bit of fun, he went to different bars and clubs every night with his friends and women just seemed to be drawn to him. At first, drinking and sleeping with different girls every night was enough to keep him going but the harder he partied, the harder the after effects began to hit him. He was tired and had no energy whatsoever, that's when one of his friends offered him a little something to keep him going. It started with different pills, then it moved onto the occasional line of cocaine, then he started to take pain killers or sleeping tablets to make him come down. Even when he was taking pills or snorting coke he still felt like he was in control, that he could stop at any time but then all that changed when he was introduced to the one drug that he couldn't run or hide from, heroin.

Looking back he didn't even know why he tried it in the first place, he'd been a little drunk when his old school friend Mark had offered it to him but he hadn't been drunk enough to not understand what he was doing. He thought that trying it just once would be harmless, that he would never need to do it again but as soon as the drug had entered his body that was it, he was hooked.

Things had fallen apart for him ever since, when he was sober there were times when he just wanted to pick up the phone and ask his dad or his brother for help but then the demons in his head would start talking, he would convince himself that he just needed one more hit, one more hit then he would look for help but the problem was, there was always one more hit.

'Katie ssshhh! Someone might hear you!'

He'd just pulled a bottle of water out of the fridge when he heard his niece scold her friend. He hadn't seen Caitlin in a while, Josh and Shannon wouldn't let him anywhere near her, not that he could really blame them for that. He had been about to go back into the lounge to tell his brother that he was leaving but when he heard her voice he decided for some stupid reason to talk to her.

With the cold bottle of water in his hand he made his way to the back door which was open just a little, he began to push it gently when Caitlin started to speak again.

'I don't know if it's a good idea, mom and dad would ground me forever if they found out about this,' Jake's instincts told him to hold back from heading out to see her, he wanted to know just what she was planning to do that would freak Shannon and Josh out so much.

'I know but if we don't go they'll all make fun of us in school forever, you know what they're like! We could just go for a little while, maybe one drink wouldn't be so bad,' by the sounds of it someone was having a party, a party that would involve more than goofing around whilst listening to Justin Bieber by the sound of it.

'I guess going for an hour wouldn't hurt, what's the worst that could happen?' Jake shook his head, there was no way that he was going to allow two thirteen year old girls to sneak off to some party where drink and possibly drugs would be going around.

Before either of the girls could speak again Jake decided to go out and talk to them. As soon as he stepped outside the girls turned their heads and stared at him nervously.

'Uncle Jake?' Caitlin was the first to speak, a little smile appeared on her face when Jake nodded in response to her words. He stood frozen to the spot, this had been the first time in over a year that he'd seen his niece sober and now that he was here, face to face with her, he didn't really know what to do or what to say.

'Are you gonna be staying with us for a while so you can get better?' Caitlin kept staring at him and he could feel himself wilting under her gaze, maybe coming out here to try and talk to her hadn't been such a good idea after all.

'No, I'm uh, I'm going home pretty soon, I just wanted to talk to you about this party…'

Caitlin shot Katie a nervous look as Jake slowly began to move closer to the two guilty looking girls.

'You shouldn't be going to parties like that at your age, you might think that drinking and smoking is cool but it's not….'

'Well you think it's cool don't you? Drugs are cool too, in your eyes anyway,' Caitlin quickly responded as she crossed her arms and looked at him sadly.

'I never said that they were cool, I just, I just got caught up in it all, believe me, you don't wanna turn into what I've become Caitlin,' Jake shook his head.

'I've heard mom and dad talk about you, they think I don't hear them but I do. Dad cries about you sometimes because he's scared he'll lose you, granddad cries too when he thinks no one can see him but I've seen him. Everyone's sad because they want you to get help but you won't because you don't care about any of us, you only care about the stupid drugs,' Jake could feel his heart beginning to tear in two as he looked right at his thirteen year old niece who was so wise for her age.

'I do care about you, I know I haven't exactly shown it since you've come into my life but I do. It's just difficult for me to explain this to you Caitlin, about how things have got so bad….'

'You don't need to explain! You just need to get help so I can get to know you! So dad and grandpa can stop crying and worrying about you all the time! If you care for me even a tiny bit then you'd get yourself better!'

Before he could respond to what she had said Caitlin rushed past him and went back inside as Katie jumped off the bench to quickly follow her.

Her words just spun around in his head so fast that he thought his brain would explode, he didn't realise just how much Josh and his father had worried about him, he'd never thought about them one bit when he was using whatever fucking drug he could get his hands on. All he'd thought about was getting his next hit, now that his teenage niece had told him just a few home truths he began to realise that his addiction wasn't just tearing him apart, it was tearing his whole family apart.

Inside

Shannon had managed to pull Josh over to the couch so he could sit down, he was now resting his head in her lap as she stroked her fingers through his hair. She'd never been religious, her mother's ramblings about God had never made her into the good Christian girl that her mother so badly wanted her to be but right now, she was praying. Seeing Jake so sick was bad enough but to see Josh tearing himself apart and breaking down was more than she could bear, she would do absolutely anything to take away his pain but she really didn't know what to do.

'Caitlin, Caitlin wait!'

Josh snapped out of his trance like state as soon as he heard footsteps running into the house and Katie shouting his daughter's name. He jumped up off the couch and ran to the lounge door, opening it just in time to see Katie grabbing a tearful Caitlin before she had the chance to go upstairs.

'Baby? Baby what's wrong?' Katie stepped back and let him take Caitlin into his arms as she began to cry against his chest, she was in no fit state to explain what had happened so his eyes immediately fell on Katie who looked back at him nervously.

'Why is she so upset? Have you guys argued?' He asked as Shannon approached the scene and pulled a sobbing Caitlin out of Josh's arms so she could take her into the lounge and sit her down.

'Jake, he came outside to talk to us….'

As soon as his brother's name fell from her lips he saw red, it was one thing to upset him or Shannon but no one, no one fucking upset his daughter!

He pushed past Katie before she had time to tell him the whole story, he just wanted to get Jake out of his house before any more damage could be done. He'd done everything that he could to make him see sense but he just wouldn't listen, there was nothing more that he could do.

When he got outside he half expected Jake to have sneaked off somewhere so he was a little shocked to find his little brother sat on the bench with his arms wrapped around his thin waist as tears ran down his cheeks.

Jake looked right at him like a scared little kid and Josh's anger was replaced by an overwhelming sadness.

'Please Josh, help me.'


	10. Chapter 10

**Wow! It's been a while guys I am so sorry! This update has been a struggle I must admit but I got there with lots of help from the wonderful amethystsea, she has helped me so much on understanding treatment facilities, drug problems, I owe her a HUGE thank you! :) This is a long update so be warned, no smut (shock horror!) but this is quite deep, I hope you enjoy and I hope it's as real as it could be, thank you :)**

Chapter Ten

'Please Josh, help me.'

He'd been waiting to hear his little brother say those words for such a long time, he'd convinced himself over the past couple of months that the next time he saw Jake it would be to identify his body. Having his little brother here, still alive, hearing those words, hearing and seeing the emotion as he spoke, he knew that finally, the person sitting in front of him was the Jake that he'd known, fought with and loved for so many years.

Fighting back tears that were threatening to fall he bit down hard on his lip and walked over to the bench where Jake was sitting. He sat down beside him and lightly patted his back, they'd never been good with hugging or shit like that but right now he wanted to hug him to death for finally seeing sense.

'You know I'll help you, dad, Shannon, Caitlin, we'll ALL help you through this Jake,' his voice shook as he tried desperately to hold himself together, he had to be the strong one now, if Jake was going to get through this he needed a big, tough older brother to see him through to the other side.

'I know I don't deserve it Josh, not after all the shit I've put you through, I've put dad through…Caitlin, a fucking thirteen year old kid, has more sense than I do, how the fuck did it come to this, huh?' Jake looked at his brother who shook his head, he'd seen his brothers experiments with drugs as just a passing faze, just like his own, he would always regret not stepping in sooner and maybe preventing Jake from going so far.

'You were young when the show started, as soon as your face appeared on TV all those fucking dumbasses came into your life, people who wanted to spend your money and party with you without paying a fucking dime, I didn't think things would get this bad Jake, if I'd known…'

'Nah Josh, this ain't your fault,' Jake fiercely shook his head and got up from the bench, 'I know I've blamed you, it was easier to blame anyone but myself. You, dad, mom, okay life hasn't exactly been a fucking breeze but I was the one that chose this path, look at you, you have this place, a fiancé, a daughter, if I'd stayed straight maybe I would have the same thing right now.'

'You're twenty five years old Jake, you have plenty of time to get your shit together and have this kind of life for yourself. Fuck Shannon didn't come back till I was two years older than you are right now! You know once you get clean dad will have you back on the boat, you'll start earning money again, you'll get yourself back on your feet in time, you can put all this shit behind you and start again,' Josh offered his brother some encouragement which he clearly needed, if Jake was going to make it through he needed to put the past few years to rest for good, all of them needed to do the same thing so that they could move on, together.

'None of the guys would wanna work with me after some of the shit I've done,' Jake scoffed, in his sober frame of mind so many different things started to seep into his head, he'd said and done some awful fucking things, not only to his own family, but to people he'd once considered his second family.

'Jesus Jake are you kidding? Nearly every fucking guy out there has had problems with drugs, alcohol, gambling. ALL of us have said and done stupid fucking things, everyone deserves a second chance, you get clean and you get yours! Don't start trying to talk yourself out of this before we've even got you a place somewhere, please Jake,' Josh got up off the bench and stepped towards his brother who immediately turned to face him.

The sadness, the hurt, the pain, it was all so clear on his older brother's face and he knew that he was responsible for it all and as much as they fought, argued and acted like assholes towards each other at times, it broke a part of his heart to know that he had done this to someone, though he'd never admit it out loud, he'd looked up to all his life.

'I promise you I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna get clean, I'm gonna sort all my shit out and I'm gonna come back here and be a part of this family again, I don't wanna live like this anymore, I don't, I don't,' before he could stop them the tears started to flow again as his fragile mind and body began to collapse around him.

'Come on,' Josh immediately wrapped one of his arms around his little brother as he could see just how unsteady he was, withdrawal symptoms were going to hit him hard and he had to start making arrangements to get him to rehab before the worst effects began to hit him.

Shannon's POV

'What the hell is going on down here?' Shannon had just sat a still crying Caitlin down on the couch as Louise came into the lounge.

'Jake came out to talk to us…..' Katie looked between her and Louise, she was scared and nervous but Shannon needed to know what had happened.

'Tell us what happened Katie,' Louise said before Shannon had the chance to speak.

'No, I'll tell you what happened,' Caitlin suddenly spoke up, she wiped her eyes with her hands and looked at Shannon who in turn took one of her hands and held it.

'We, we were talking about this stupid party that some older kids are having this afternoon, we weren't gonna go though were we?' Caitlin looked towards Katie who immediately shook her head, Shannon guessed that they were lying but right now some dumb party was the least of her worries.

'Jake heard us talking and he came out of the kitchen and started to try and lecture us about drinking, partying…I just told him a few things I shouldn't have, like how dad and grandpa are sad because of him, they are sad because of him though, I know they are!' Caitlin choked a little and Shannon wrapped her arms around her.

'Oh Caitlin, don't get upset, you haven't done anything wrong….'

'I just, I just don't get it mom! Why would someone wanna make themselves sick? I hated being sick! I hated being stuck in hospital not being able to get out of bed to even go to the toilet!' Caitlin began to cry again and Shannon held back her own tears to try and remain strong for her little girl.

Seeing Jake as sick as he was had brought back some awful memories for her baby and she felt responsible. She could have just taken him to a hotel for the night, that way none of this would be happening right now.

It took a few minutes for Caitlin to calm down and stop crying, Shannon was about to speak when Josh came into the room carrying a deathly pale Jake with him.

'We need to sit him down and get him some water and something to eat,' Shannon got to her feet and Caitlin did the same thing so Jake could lie down on the couch.

'Do you want me to take the girls home with me?' Louise spoke up as Josh fussed over his brother before Shannon could answer Caitlin spoke for herself.

'No, I'm staying here,' she shook her head and gripped Shannon's hand, as much as Shannon did not want Caitlin to be around Jake a little voice in the back of her head told her not to argue, maybe seeing Jake in this state would prevent her from following a similar path in the future?

'You take Katie home, we'll be fine,' Shannon formed a little smile as Katie walked over to her mother, Louise smiled back and mouthed 'call me' before she started to make her way out of the lounge. Once they had left her attention went back to Jake and Josh.

'Maybe we should take him to the hospital? He doesn't look good Josh,' Shannon spoke up as Josh got up off his knees and smiled at her, it was a pretty weird time to be smiling.

'He's going to rehab, someone managed to do the impossible,' Josh looked at his daughter who smiled back at him. 'I'm gonna start calling places to see if we can get him in somewhere today, the withdrawals are starting already so we need to get something sorted out, can you make him something to eat?'

'I'll stay with Uncle Jake,' Caitlin announced as she let go of her mother's hand and went over to the couch where Jake was mumbling something that couldn't be made out. 'It'll be okay, we're all gonna help you Uncle Jake.'

Shannon and Josh both looked at their daughter with a tremendous amount of pride and love. She had an old head on young shoulders, suffering from cancer and learning about death at such a young age had seen to that. A lot of kids her age wouldn't be able to cope with what was going on but she could, she was special.

'You get on the phone, I think it might be best to start with your dad, he needs to know what's going on so he can come home,' Shannon finally broke the silence to talk to Josh. Phil needed to be here and maybe, with his connections, he could find somewhere for Jake to go.

Josh nodded before he went over to the couch to kiss Caitlin's head. 'If anything happens, yell for me and I'll be here okay?' Caitlin nodded at her dad before he disappeared into the hallway to start making calls.

'I'm gonna make some soup for you Jake, you need to eat something,' Shannon didn't think that making him a huge meal would be a good idea considering how sick he looked. Until he could start getting medical help all she could do was try to keep him comfortable until Josh could find somewhere for him to go.

'Thanks Shannon, after some of the things I've done…'

'None of that matters anymore Jake, you're getting help, that's all any of us ever wanted,' she smiled softly as Jake met her gaze, all of a sudden she could see the young boy that she'd once known again and for some reason, she just knew that things were going to be okay.

'Dad? Dad can you hear me?' Josh hollered down the phone as loud music and background noise filtered through the speaker. His dad was obviously in a bar or restaurant, he didn't really care where he was, he just needed him to take this call and listen to what he had to say. 'Dad for fuck sake just go outside!'

'You don't need to fucking shout at me Joshua! I'm headin' out now, this better be good!' His dad yelled back at him over the noise, Josh didn't know how the fuck he could even hear him, then again his dad always seemed to have a way of fucking hearing everything, he'd caught him sneaking out enough times to know that his father had superhuman hearing powers or something.

'There, I'm outside so what the fuck is going on?' Phil hollered down the phone as Josh took a deep breathe.

'Jake's at my place right now and to cut a long story short, he's ready to go to rehab,' there was no point in going into great detail about what had happened right now, he could do that once his dad came home, all he needed to know was that Jake was ready to get help.

'I'll call Delta right now and see if I can change my flight, I could be home in a few hours….'

'Dad we need to get him into rehab now, he's already starting to withdraw from whatever shit he's been taking and the longer we leave it the more tempted he'll be to run and go buy some more shit that he can take, is there anyone you can call to try and get him in somewhere like right now?' He sighed, hoping that his dad could think of something, there were only a couple of inpatient rehab centres in Seattle, if there was nothing available in them he'd have to start looking further afield and the further the treatment place was from them the more time Jake would have to cope with his symptoms without help.

'A friend of a friend knows some chick that works over at that Lakeside Rehab place, it's a long shot….'

'Well it's the only one we've got, you call your friend and I'll call the airline and see if I can get you on the next flight…'

'That won't work, they won't talk to you about my ticket you know what these fucking airlines are like. You sit tight and keep an eye on Jake, I'll call Carl and see if we can get something sorted out then I'll call the airline, I'll call you back as soon as I got some news,' just like that, Josh heard his dad end the call, he was now in full papa bear mode and he was sure that his dad could sort something out, he could get candy from a baby with his baby blue eyes and sweet talking ways.

'Uncle Jake? You don't look so good…..' Caitlin had kept her eyes on her uncle ever since she'd been left alone with him, he'd looked pretty pale before but now he was turning grey.

'I think I'm gonna puke…' Jake said between breathes as he tried to prevent himself from being sick, he didn't want his niece to see him like this, she was too young to be going through shit like this with him.

'Hold on I'll go get a bowl!' Caitlin quickly got up from the couch and burst out of the longue, nearly knocking Josh on his feet in the process.

Josh ran into the longue in time to see Jake vomiting into one of the vases that sat on the fireplace.

'I found o…..Oh, too late,' Caitlin came running back into the room with a bowl in her hands just as Jake began vomiting again.

All that Josh could do was pat his brother on the back and hope to fucking God that his dad had managed to sweet talk someone into getting Jake a place at the Lakeside Clinic, if he couldn't then they were going to have a very rough day and night ahead of them.

'Caitlin honey, are you sure you wanna stay here? Mom can call Louise and ask her to come back for you,' he said to her as she handed an empty white bowl over to him which Josh promptly placed on top of the vase to prevent even more vomit entering it. It was hard enough for him to deal with seeing Jake like this and he knew that things were going to get worse, he didn't really want his child to see her uncle like this.

'Dad I'm fine, I want to be here, I know what it's like to be really really sick, I know this is different but he needs people around him just like I did when I was in hospital,' his heart was fit to burst with the amount of pride and love that he felt for his little girl in that moment, if he was never going to achieve anything else in his life at least he could say he'd helped to create a wonderful human being.

'Can you go tell mom to forget about the soup? I don't think he's gonna be able to eat anything,' Caitlin nodded as Jake continued to heave over the bowl that Josh had put in front of him.

Josh patted him on the back and offered a few words of encouragement, he felt like a spare part because he didn't really know what he could say or do to make this any easier for his younger brother. He needed help, professional help to make this a little better for him, he just hoped that his dad could do something otherwise he'd have to take him to the Emergency Room and hope that they could give him something to make this better for him.

'Mom forget about the soup, Uncle Jake's not going to be able to eat it, he puked in your favourite vase,' Shannon had just been about to open up a can of soup that she'd dug around in the cupboards to find when Caitlin came into the kitchen.

'I'll get him some water, if he can't eat he at least needs to keep his fluid levels up,' she could feel herself beginning to panic a little, she'd not seen anyone go through withdrawal first hand but she had seen enough programmes about it to know that it wasn't a pleasant experience. Jake needed to be somewhere he could be looked after by professionals, her limited knowledge on the subject would not be enough to help him and keep him going for very long, the temptation for him to go out and buy drugs was going to increase every minute that they waited to find somewhere for him to go.

She pulled a large bottle of water out of the fridge and picked up a glass from the cupboard before she followed her daughter down the hallway and into the lounge in time to see Josh helping a grey coloured Jake onto the sofa.

'I'm ffreezing,' Jake shivered as he took a seat on the couch, setting the puke filled bowl in his lap, as much as he wanted to lie down he knew it was best to remain upright in case he had to puke again.

'I'll go get some blankets,' Shannon put the bottle of water and glass down on the table in front of Jake before she hurried upstairs to find him some blankets to keep him warm.

'It'll be okay Uncle Jake,' Caitlin took a seat next to her Uncle and took one of his freezing cold hands in hers. It was a small gesture but to Jake it meant the world.

Josh started to pace around the living room, he didn't know what to do for the best, he could see that his little brother was suffering and he wanted to make it stop but he couldn't, he had to go through this pain to make it out the other side but that didn't stop him from wanting to swap places with him, Jake looked so frail and vulnerable, he was strong and tough, he could take the effects of withdrawal and he was beginning to worry that his little brother might not be able to cope for much longer.

He had been about to try calling his dad again when Shannon appeared back in the room carrying a huge blanket in her arms, he went over to help her unfold it and place it around Jake's shivering body, both he and Shannon exchanged nervous glances after they'd wrapped him up in the blanket, pulling her to one side Josh explained that he was waiting for his dad to call back.

'What if this doesn't work out and your dad can't do anything? We need to have a back-up plan Josh…..'

'The only back up plan I have is to take him to the ER and hope that they can sort something out for him, I just don't know Shannon, I haven't been through this shit before,' Josh tried to remain calm, Shannon was right, they did need a back-up plan but going to the ER was the only plan that he had. He certainly was not hitting the streets to get Jake more drugs to tide him over until they could get him help, no fucking way.

Just as she was about to offer Josh some form of comfort his cell began to ring. He answered the call straightaway, hoping that his dad had some good news.

'So what's the score?' Josh said as he began to walk out of the room.

'You can take him to the Lakeside clinic right away, I managed to talk to the woman that runs the place, turns out she's a big fan of the show so I offered to take her out for dinner, it did the trick,' Josh couldn't help but laugh, it was typical that his old man would manage to charm his way into getting what he wanted.

'And what about your flight?' Josh asked, he wanted his dad home as soon as possible.

'I'm booked on the 1.30 flight now, I'll call when I land so one of you can come pick me up. Can I talk to Jake? I won't get to see him once he's in the recovery centre,' Josh could hear the sadness in his voice, any father would want to see their child before they entered a rehab programme but he knew that they needed to get Jake there right away, waiting a few more hours would be too much considering the state he was in right now.

Walking back into the lounge Josh held his hand over the speaker and asked Jake if he was well enough to speak to their dad, he looked a little afraid but nodded his head, he had to speak to his father at some point after all.

Handing the phone over to Jake Josh then bent down a little so he could give his daughter a hug, a hug which he needed now more than ever.

'Dad? Thank you for helping me, I'm so sorry…..' Jake's voice broke as tears began to run down his cheeks, he didn't know where to begin, he had fucked up so much, he was so lucky that any of his family still wanted anything to do with him after all the shit he'd put them through.

'You don't need to thank me and you don't need to say sorry, I'm really fucking proud of you for doing this Jake, this is gonna be the toughest thing you've ever done in your fucking life but I know you can do it, you can do anything. I just want you to get better, we all want you to get better. I know I don't say it enough but I really love you son,' Jake's emotions completely overwhelmed him as he started to cry even harder, taking the phone out of his hands, Josh spoke to his dad once again.

'He's a little upset dad but he'll be okay, he'll be annoying your ass again soon, you know it,' Josh tried to add a little humour into the mix but he could hear that his dad was just as choked up as his brother was. 'I'd better head off, the sooner we get him to rehab the better, I love you pops, see you soon.'

'Love you too kiddo,' Josh ended the call and immediately went to pull Jake into a hug, Caitlin joined them in a mini group hug then Shannon did the same, it was like a mini therapy session was going on in their lounge.

After a few minutes Josh pulled away from the embrace, Jake needed to get to Lakeside as soon as possible but before that could happen he had to pack some things for him to take with him.

'I'll go get some clothes and stuff for you to take with you then we'll go, the sooner you get there the better,' Josh smiled before he disappeared out of the room to go upstairs and pack for his little brother.

Jake, Caitlin and Shannon remained in the lounge waiting for Josh to reappear, each minute that passed Jake could feel his nerve beginning to leave, could he really do this? Maybe he wasn't strong enough to give up the drugs that he'd become so used to taking day after day, hour after hour, this could be the last time he set eyes on his family, he might never see his dad again, did he really want to take that chance?

Shannon kept her eyes firmly fixed upon Jake, he wasn't saying anything but she could tell that he was lost in thought. Now that he knew he had a place in rehab she wondered whether he was having second thoughts, it wouldn't be a surprise to her if he was, just a couple of hours ago he was going to leave and go back out on the streets now he was headed to rehab to get his life together, he'd begun to experience what the next few days were going to be life as he went through the process of withdrawal, it wasn't going to be pretty.

'Okay I put in a few shirts, trousers, pants, socks, a couple of hoodies and put a bag full of toiletries in there too, have I forgotten anything?' Josh announced as he came back into the room slightly breathless from hurrying to pack up a few things that Jake would need whilst he was away.

Jake immediately turned around when he heard his voice and Josh had never seen him look so scared before, not even the Bering Sea made him look as terrified as he did right now.

'I…I don't know iiff I can ddoo thiss,' Jake stuttered as he took his eyes away from Josh, he was too ashamed to look at his older, stronger brother.

'You CAN do this Jake, you're a lot stronger than you think you are,' Shannon instinctively took one of his thin hands in hers and smiled softly, shouting at him was not the way to go, who wouldn't be scared about something as huge as this? 'I know that we haven't really got to know each other since I've been back but I remember how strong you were when we were younger, you used to go toe to toe with Josh and even though he was bigger you never backed down…'

'I'm not that ppersson now!' Jake let out a cry of frustration, even if he did manage to get off the drugs how could he suddenly make all the things that he'd done to those closest to him right again? How could he not be tempted to fall back into his old habits because being a fishermen meant that getting his hands on drugs would never be a problem, how could he cope with the temptation not to use ever again?

'That person is still there Jake, he might be buried deep down below the surface but he IS there, I know he is, we all know he is! You're talking as if your life is over and it's not! This is a new chapter for you, a new chapter for all of us. The past, it doesn't matter anymore, what matters is that you find the strength to walk out of that door and face your fears, this is the hardest part and you can do it, we all know you can Jake,' Shannon stood up in front of him and held her hands out to him, it was now or never, the longer they waited the more difficult it would be for Jake to leave, he had to make his decision now.

Jake placed his head in his hands and tried to clear his mind as different scenarios played out in his head, some were good, some were bad. He felt an arm on his shoulder and looked up to see Josh standing alongside Shannon, he was holding out a hand as Shannon continued to hold out one of hers. He jumped a little when he felt a kiss being placed on his cheek, he'd almost forgotten that Caitlin was still sitting next to him on the couch, she'd been so quiet, he'd probably terrified the poor kid.

'You'll be okay Uncle Jake, if I can beat cancer you can beat this, don't be scared,' Caitlin spoke very quietly, she had remained quiet throughout the whole conversation as she didn't really know what to say. She understood what was happening but she just felt sad, she'd seen sick people in the hospital and it always made her sad, no matter what they were going through.

Hearing his nieces soft voice and seeing the sadness etched on her face was the final push that he needed, if he wanted to get to know her, to be a part of her life then he had to sort himself out. He wanted what his brother had, a family, and the only way he'd get it was by going to rehab and changing his life.

He wobbled as he got to his feet but Shannon and Josh managed to hold him steady as they began to walk outside to the car. Caitlin ran on ahead to open the front door and take Jake's bag to the car, it took a few minutes, Jake was in no fit state to walk very fast but eventually they made it to Josh's car.

'You take care of yourself and we'll see you soon, I'm so proud of you,' she didn't know if her words would mean much but she meant every word, hugging him gently she then backed away to let Caitlin say goodbye to her Uncle.

'I'll write to you and send you pictures and stuff if they let me, when you get home we can ask grandpa to take us all out on the boat, that'd be awesome!' Jake smiled for the first time and pulled Caitlin into a hug, 'Thank You,' he whispered before he sat himself down in the front passenger seat.

'I'll call you when I get there, I might not be back in time to pick dad up from the airport,' Josh didn't know how long it would take to fill out paperwork and sort everything out, Jake might even change his mind again once they got there but he doubted it.

'I'll pick him up, you just worry about Jake, I love you,' Shannon planted a light kiss on his forehead before Josh walked around to the driver's seat.

The girls watched as Josh backed out of the drive and disappeared off down the street to start Jake's most important journey so far.


End file.
